An open letter to the makers of South Park regarding the misrepresentation of Canada

Robert B. Marks

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Jun 10, 2008
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Dear Matt and Trey,

I have been a Canadian fan of your show since its first season, but I cannot remain silent after this most recent episode?s blatant misrepresentation of our great country and culture.

First, Canada does not have a President. It has a Prime Minister, who is not elected but appointed by the Prince of Canada, and anointed with the sacred maple syrup upon his inauguration.

Second, Canadians do not play music at a designated time every day. Instead, we engage in an interpretive dance recalling the founding of our great country and the awesomeness of our glorious Inuit, and the wonders of their laser eyes.

Third, no Canadian could ever bring him or herself to live in a simple house. Our culture forbids the use of dwellings that do not at least bear a resemblance to an igloo. Any Canadian family in the United States would be required by our cultural heritage to have their house rebuilt into the shape of an igloo.

Fourth, Canadians would never build a concrete wall preventing Americans from entering our great country. We would make it out of ice, with igloo decorations.

Fifth, for all your talk of the really cool things in Canada, you have shown none of them throughout the entire run of your series. How can you not show our annual Running of the Polar Bears? Yes, it has been condemned by the United Nations as being inhumane to every living thing involved, but Canada could not truly be Canada without it. How can you present our glorious Inuit without their laser eyes? And how can you, in good conscience, continue to depict our cities as boring and dull ? like your American cities ? and without their many igloo skyscrapers, igloo shopping malls, and igloo cathedrals?

Shame on you, Matt and Trey. Shame. If you must continue to present Canada on screen to your viewers, please make at least some effort to be accurate.
 

Thaluikhain

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Robert B. Marks said:
Fourth, Canadians would never build a concrete wall preventing Americans from entering our great country. We would make it out of ice, with igloo decorations.
Pft, that's the stupid way of doing it, you want to trick the USAliens to build it for you, or at least pay you to do it.
 

Zontar

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Feb 18, 2013
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Given their more anti-religious stance, I'm amazed they didn't make mention of our places of worship.


Also, just because you puritanical nutjobs dance to the foundation of our country doesn't mean the rest of us do. Even if we're a minority, a lot of us DO stand up at 7:00, 12:00 and 17:00 with out bagpipes and face the current resting place of the Cup of Stan and start playing "My Heart Will go on".

Damn reformist thinking the whole country revolves around them.
 

Robert B. Marks

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President Bagel said:
Well, they're right about one thing. Us Canadians sure do love our Kraft Dinnah.
You Kraft Dinnah-ites are worse than vegans. You know, SOME of us take pride in poutine, our glorious national meal!
 

beastro

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I love how twisted their Canada, drives my fellow countrymen nuts who have their pant son too tight.

That might be because it's all targeted at New Canada, while I remain firmly in the Old Canada camp.
 

Lightknight

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Nov 26, 2008
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No, having visited Canada once while drunk I have to say their representation is exactly correct in every way. Frankly I'm unsure how an exact representation of reality can be perceived as humor.
 

Silentpony_v1legacy

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Jun 5, 2013
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Robert B. Marks said:
Couldn't help but notice you didn't mention the previous episodes that showed that Canada only has one road.
I guess you're a big fan of Highway 1, eh?

Also no mention of buddy/guy/friend being used the same way we Americans use a period buddy
 

RJ 17

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Nov 27, 2011
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I can understand why you'd find their misrepresentation so offensive. Indeed, judging by the indisputable facts presented in your letter they're clearly going out of their way to distort public view of Canadians.

At least they accurately portray Canada's primary entertainment being comprised of queef and fart jokes. And they do accurately portray the way all Canadian's heads bounce around and completely separate from their lower jaw while talking.
 

tippy2k2

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Now some of what you are saying may be true but there have been some very troublesome things that have come out of Canada, let us not forget Bryan Adams...
 

Robert B. Marks

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tippy2k2 said:
Now some of what you are saying may be true but there have been some very troublesome things that have come out of Canada, let us not forget Bryan Adams...
Hey! We have apologized for Bryan Adams on many occasions!
 
Jan 12, 2012
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thaluikhain said:
Robert B. Marks said:
Fourth, Canadians would never build a concrete wall preventing Americans from entering our great country. We would make it out of ice, with igloo decorations.
Pft, that's the stupid way of doing it, you want to trick the USAliens to build it for you, or at least pay you to do it.
What do we look like, Springfielders? We know that as soon as you Ogdenvilliers Americans get a grip on our land, you'll never let go.


tippy2k2 said:
Now some of what you are saying may be true but there have been some very troublesome things that have come out of Canada, let us not forget Bryan Adams...
 

Robert B. Marks

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Silentpony said:
Robert B. Marks said:
Couldn't help but notice you didn't mention the previous episodes that showed that Canada only has one road.
I guess you're a big fan of Highway 1, eh?
Sigh...

For the last time, Canada doesn't HAVE paved roads. The pavement is too hard on the feet of our dogsled teams.

We're not going to cause unnecessary injuries to our primary means of transportation. Seriously, think it through!
 

Godhead

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May 25, 2009
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Zontar said:
Given their more anti-religious stance, I'm amazed they didn't make mention of our places of worship.
No no, that's the Tim Hortons.
 

Zontar

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Something Amyss said:
This thread is not condescendingly apologetic enough. You're not a real Canadian, are you?
I'm sorry to break this to you, but Canadians aren't as apologetic as the stereotypes make it seem. It's unfortunate you had to find out this way, and I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you, but that's just the way it is, eh.
 

Zontar

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lax4life said:
No no, that's the Tim Hortons.
Oh, such breathtaking ignorance of our religion! Tim Horton's isn't a place of worship, it's a place of confession and forgiveness for our sins.

Sins we usually get at our place of worship.

(Also, there IS a Tim Horton's inside the Bell Centre)
 

Saltyk

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Sep 12, 2010
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Wait a minute... Something seems off here...

A-ha! I know what's wrong. It was staring me in the face the whole time. I can't take this thread seriously at all because you're obviously not Canadian.

For one, you didn't use the word "aboot" even once. You also make no mention of Hockey or Maple Syrup. Nor are you writing in the Canadian language. I see not one use of the letters "Buddy" or even "Guy".

Who are you trying to fool?