Ancient Male Spider Frozen "Stiff" in Amber for 100 Million Years

[Deathfish15]

So this is Spiderman's real father?

 

[Fallow]

Why do you call it a male spider? Have you asked the spider what they identify as? No? Just assuming male because it has a penis is incredibly sexist.

god I'd be fucking pissed, you just got done with foreplay and are about to explode, when *WOOSHHH* a fucking avalanche of concrete comes in and fossilizes you.

I feel you spider, I do, bad luck brian to the max.

Do you know what happens to (presumably) male spiders after the 5min honeymoon?

 

[Neverhoodian]

"Instructions unclear, got dick stuck in amber."

 

[direkiller]

Ancient Male Spider Frozen "Stiff" in Amber for 100 Million Years

Sorry if this is a bit nitpicky, but it's not a spider. It's a Opilione or harvester/daddy long legs.
Edit:
Even the bit you copy/pasted says it's not a spider and even explains why they are different >.>

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Why do you call it a male spider? Have you asked the spider what they identify as? No? Just assuming male because it has a penis is incredibly sexist.

god I'd be fucking pissed, you just got done with foreplay and are about to explode, when *WOOSHHH* a fucking avalanche of concrete comes in and fossilizes you.

I feel you spider, I do, bad luck brian to the max.

Do you know what happens to (presumably) male spiders after the 5min honeymoon?

I'm...really hoping that first part was sarcasm. I can't tell on here sometimes.

as to the second part, I'm assuming there is some sort of ritual where he performs seppuku and she gorges on him?

 

[FalloutJack]

First person to ask to clone this sucker dies by fire.

 

[Palindromemordnilap_v1legacy]

Spider dick, spider dick
Trapped in amber thats very thick.
Now he's been
fossilised.
And scientists
Will mock his size.
Watch out! That is a spider dick!

 

[Misterian]

Being frozen in amber with a stiffy in full view? for millions of years?

That has to be the most embarrassing situation I've ever seen in my life, I think it could only be worst for the spider if he's still alive.