Marmooset said:
I maintain the Relationship Problem thread for the following reasons:
Firstly, it keeps things nicely organised for my brain, as I give advice to a lot of people. I can use it to refer people seeking advice easily to answers that I might have given other people seeking similar advice. This is why I post in the thread from questions in other threads (contrary to popular belief, it's
not to try and discourage them from making their own threads if they want - I think that people
should make threads if they want, after all a consensus of opinion is a valuable thing)... it's a lot easier to find something that I told someone else if it's all in the one place.
Secondly, it gives people seeking assistance an option to do so in a way that might be a bit more low-profile (yet still public enough to be helpful to others). Starting a new thread tends to get more noticed than posting in an existing thread. Also, every new relationship thread that someone starts has a comment similar to this in it:
Marmooset said:
I think anyone who turns to a gaming site for relationship advice gets what they deserve
...which I think is a bit odd and which I'm sure someone desperate for advice doesn't want to hear. If someone is looking for help, why shouldn't they take it wherever they can get it? And why assume all gamers don't know about this stuff? Isn't that "closeted gamer nerd" idea the type of stereotype that gamers wish they could get away from? If anything I think that fellow gamers with relationship experience would be the
most ideal people to turn to about these things, because they would be more sensitive to the type of issues that specifically affect gamers in relationships...
Also, people curious about relationship issues in general can read through the thread and potentially have questions answered for them before they feel the need to ask them. That's definitely a benefit to some people and I've had a lot of messages along the lines of "I just spent half a day reading your thread and I think it's very useful" etc. Of course, some people don't find it as useful, and to them, I say "I'm glad you didn't feel that you needed any of that advice".
Also, and most importantly, I want to do the thread, and there's no rule that says I can't. If the forum moderators inform me of a rule saying that I can't continue that thread, then I will put it to bed. Until that time, or until I'm unable to continue to do it for some other reason, it shall continue.
Yes of course it's just one person's opinion etc, I see where you're coming from with that... and it's fine that you don't agree with my advice, it's only advice after all, not the gospel. I certainly don't agree with the advice that some other people give each other about these issues. Other people can start similar threads if they wish - and have done. Why haven't they continued them? I'm not sure. Maybe they lost interest, maybe they were dissuaded by negative feedback, I really don't know.
Every now and again I do have second thoughts about continuing the thread, especially when someone criticises it, but then I look in my PM inbox at the hundreds of people who've thanked me for the advice I've given, and also at the "thanks" badge I was awarded (which was
presumably for that thread - although I was never told the exact reason, I can't think for the life of me what else it could be for, as none of my other contributions here have been very meaningful), and also at the people who
signed up to the site just to post in that thread, I think that perhaps I'm doing something that some (if not all) people here value, and that I should continue to be doing. If anyone out there doesn't like it, they should feel free to place me on their ignore list.
