Anger

[V TheSystem V]

Is telling a friend to not be angry at specific people when they are in a bad mood as it could easily make them both miserable (even more in the former's case) a bad thing to do?

Did that this morning. Told my friend to not go mental with one of her best friends (who was annoying her unintentionally this morning) because they were both ill and at least one of them was in a foul mood. Unfortunately, her anger was taken out on me, and I was told that nothing had been said yet, I should fuck off and not bother telling her to not get angry at people. I see what she's getting at, but feel like crap about it. It's going to be OK, but just wondering if it's wrong to tell someone that their anger shouldn't be taken out on specific people?

 

[El Poncho]

I mention the consequences, then make a joke about the consequences. Generally works

 

[^=ash=^]

Tell, no. Suggest is a better way of going about it, but a lot of the time, people need an outlet to vent their anger on, especially if its a bad mood feeling. A release of some sort usually calms the person down and brings them back to a semi normal/normal state, at the very least. Sadly, in that angry state usually the people who are unintentionally annoying the angry person will usually get the full force of that anger, even if they do not deserve it. My advice is to talk to your friend about this when shes happy/calm, and just explain to her that logically if she blows up on people, she is going to upset someone over nothing.

Furthermore, you could offer to be the person she vents on too, but that is entirely up to you.

I hope this helps!

Couldn't make a better response than this. It's very difficult to advise someone who is angry, the red mist metaphor is actually quite accurate, since (in my similar situations) they tend to take it as though you are trying to control their actions which they tend to blow up about.

My advice: Take Aylaine's advice, she is a saint of this sub-forum.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

It's going to be OK, but just wondering if it's wrong to tell someone that their anger shouldn't be taken out on specific people?

Wrong? Not really but telling an angry person anything they should or shouldn't do while they're angry is just asking to be put right at the top of their shitlist.