Anonymity is comedy.

[DigitalJedl]

I've thought of this idea after a member here posted his story about a stranger and the internet. The events that came after were not pleasant for him, but from the website Omegle, and anicechat. I've had some fun conversations with random people, and found some that literally had me rolling on the floor laughing.

Here's one that was found:

Spoiler

You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
You: >What wouldst thou do?
You: >
Stranger: F*** YOUR MOTHER.
You: >You approach the fearsome F*** YOUR MOTHER, brandishing your sword.
You: >The F*** YOUR MOTHER attacks!
Stranger: SUCK MY D***, F*** YOUR MOTHER
You: >FIGHT >ITEMS >FLEE
Stranger: >FLEE
You: >You cannot escape! The F*** YOUR MOTHER is far too large!
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
Stranger: >ITEMS
You: >You open up your SATCHEL to ruffle through your ITEMS. You have with you a BANANA, a MICK?S TAPE, and a SMALL ROCK. What woudst thou do?
Stranger: >use BANANA to F*** YOUR MOTHER
You: >You throw your mighty BANANA at the fearsome F*** YOUR MOTHER, who falls writhing to the ground in agony.
You: >You have defeated the F*** YOUR MOTHER!
Stranger: F*** YEAH!
You: >You gain three experience points, and the TOE OF THE F*** YOUR MOTHER.
You: >Ye see before ye a SWAMP
Stranger: >QUIT
You: >NO ESCAPE
Stranger: oh shi-
You: >YOU SHALL PLAY FOREVER

Anyway, I'm here to ask, what interesting and/or funny conversations have you members of the Escapist had with complete strangers in reality?

Yes, I have used the search button and have found no topics matching this one. Hopefully, nothing was overlooked.

 

[Lazy Lemon]

I just love conversations with random people. The funniest one I've had recently was when I was on a date with this girl and as soon as we walked into the bar she went to the toilet to sort her hair out or something and I went to get a drink and this conspiracy nut came up to me and started talking a whole lot of bullshit at me. He told me his spiritual name was Kenwood and he likes the energies that students give off which is why he started a conversation with me. This went on for about 20 minutes and he was fiddling around with his teeth (what was left of them) the whole time and then eventually one of them fell out and he was searching around on the floor for it. Very funny.

 

[BlueTomfoolery]

for those of you who do want to chat with real strangers, go here

http://omegle.com/

that'll get them started on a story.

 

[DigitalJedl]

for those of you who do want to chat with real strangers, go here

http://omegle.com/

that'll get them started on a story.

I'm already in there at the moment.

 

[Soxafloppin]

for those of you who do want to chat with real strangers, go here

http://omegle.com/

that'll get them started on a story.

I'm already in there at the moment.

me 3.

 

[IntoxicatedKnight]

I was talking with my friends in a pub the other day whilst rather drunk. This 30+ year old came over and started talking about going out with his girlfriend. Out of nowhere I said, "How often do you go to the gym?" and started poking his abdomen. He then proceded to tell me. Regardless on my alcohol level, it was memrorable as he was so weird.

 

[cobra_ky]

i was in montreal once and i happened to be wearing a nintendo shirt. it was 10am, and there were bunch of people outside waiting to buy tickets for a NOFX show. this one kid walked up to me, with his shirt unbuttoned and drinking out of a bottle in a paperbag and started guching about how much he loved nintendo. he told me the following story:

"one time i played punch-out for like three days while my mom brought me food, and at the end i kicked my nintendo because i was so bored of that fucking game."

i never learned his name, but i'll never forget him.

 

[Spaceman_Spiff]

Bash.org has some good quotes

 

[DigitalJedl]

i was in montreal once and i happened to be wearing a nintendo shirt. it was 10am, and there were bunch of people outside waiting to buy tickets for a NOFX show. this one kid walked up to me, with his shirt unbuttoned and drinking out of a bottle in a paperbag and started guching about how much he loved nintendo. he told me the following story:

"one time i played punch-out for like three days while my mom brought me food, and at the end i kicked my nintendo because i was so bored of that fucking game."

i never learned his name, but i'll never forget him.

He must be found. I must meet this man.

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

-snip

Stranger: girl?
You: boy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


..... I see what they're in this for then. >_>

 

[AngloDoom]

I've had a woman I just met that moment tell me I should consider being 'fuckbuddies' with her niece. I was oddly casual about the whole think, politely declined but offered my thanks due to her consideration and went on my way.

 

[DigitalJedl]

-snip

Stranger: girl?
You: boy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


..... I see what they're in this for then. >_>

Spoiler

Stranger: I have a question
You: Go for it.
Stranger: If you were a drink, which one would you be and why?
You: Hm...
You: Interesting.
Stranger:
You: I'd probably end up as...
You: Hmm...
You: Milk.
Stranger: why
You: Because it's needed for a lot of things to be made.
You: Ice cream, etc.
Stranger: so your needed to make a lot of things
You: That tends to fit me sometimes.
You: Not really in that way.
You: My friends often call me for help, so I'm needed often.
Stranger: Ahh ok
You: That's an odd way of explaining it... but what would you be?
Stranger: Zambuka
You: What is it?
You: I've never heard of such a beverage.
Stranger: It looks quite normal, and when you drink it you think like: oh this is great because i think it tastes great. but it hits you like BOOOM, drunkYou: Oh man.
You: That fast?
Stranger: After 2 your pretty far
Stranger: full glasses
Stranger: but you can drink it very fast, you know what i mean?
Stranger: but nevermind
Stranger: where u from?
You: USA, North Carolina to be specific.
Stranger: lots and lots of american people here!
Stranger: im european
Stranger: dutch
Stranger: many people dont like dutch girls or just dutch people, dont know why
You: I don't know many Dutch at all.
You: I have nothing against the Dutch.
Stranger: Great!
Stranger: I'm joy
You: Hello, Joy.

And it all went well.

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

-snip

Stranger: girl?
You: boy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


..... I see what they're in this for then. >_>

Spoiler

Stranger: I have a question
You: Go for it.
Stranger: If you were a drink, which one would you be and why?
You: Hm...
You: Interesting.
Stranger:
You: I'd probably end up as...
You: Hmm...
You: Milk.
Stranger: why
You: Because it's needed for a lot of things to be made.
You: Ice cream, etc.
Stranger: so your needed to make a lot of things
You: That tends to fit me sometimes.
You: Not really in that way.
You: My friends often call me for help, so I'm needed often.
Stranger: Ahh ok
You: That's an odd way of explaining it... but what would you be?
Stranger: Zambuka
You: What is it?
You: I've never heard of such a beverage.
Stranger: It looks quite normal, and when you drink it you think like: oh this is great because i think it tastes great. but it hits you like BOOOM, drunkYou: Oh man.
You: That fast?
Stranger: After 2 your pretty far
Stranger: full glasses
Stranger: but you can drink it very fast, you know what i mean?
Stranger: but nevermind
Stranger: where u from?
You: USA, North Carolina to be specific.
Stranger: lots and lots of american people here!
Stranger: im european
Stranger: dutch
Stranger: many people dont like dutch girls or just dutch people, dont know why
You: I don't know many Dutch at all.
You: I have nothing against the Dutch.
Stranger: Great!
Stranger: I'm joy
You: Hello, Joy.

And it all went well.

You were talking to a female, your conversation stack is invalid. Apparently if you are a male then to other males you're words aren't worth spit until you grow a bust size (preferably D Cup) and lose the penis.

...Hmmmm. Did someone say social experiment?

 

[DigitalJedl]

-snip

Stranger: girl?
You: boy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


..... I see what they're in this for then. >_>

Spoiler

Stranger: I have a question
You: Go for it.
Stranger: If you were a drink, which one would you be and why?
You: Hm...
You: Interesting.
Stranger:
You: I'd probably end up as...
You: Hmm...
You: Milk.
Stranger: why
You: Because it's needed for a lot of things to be made.
You: Ice cream, etc.
Stranger: so your needed to make a lot of things
You: That tends to fit me sometimes.
You: Not really in that way.
You: My friends often call me for help, so I'm needed often.
Stranger: Ahh ok
You: That's an odd way of explaining it... but what would you be?
Stranger: Zambuka
You: What is it?
You: I've never heard of such a beverage.
Stranger: It looks quite normal, and when you drink it you think like: oh this is great because i think it tastes great. but it hits you like BOOOM, drunkYou: Oh man.
You: That fast?
Stranger: After 2 your pretty far
Stranger: full glasses
Stranger: but you can drink it very fast, you know what i mean?
Stranger: but nevermind
Stranger: where u from?
You: USA, North Carolina to be specific.
Stranger: lots and lots of american people here!
Stranger: im european
Stranger: dutch
Stranger: many people dont like dutch girls or just dutch people, dont know why
You: I don't know many Dutch at all.
You: I have nothing against the Dutch.
Stranger: Great!
Stranger: I'm joy
You: Hello, Joy.

And it all went well.

You were talking to a female, your conversation stack is invalid. Apparently if you are a male then to other males you're words aren't worth spit until you grow a bust size (preferably D Cup) and lose the penis.

...Hmmmm. Did someone say social experiment?

I wonder how long I can hold a conversation by saying I have large boobs.

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

-snip-

I wonder how long I can hold a conversation by saying I have large boobs.

This is the internet.

It will last until you stop it.

 

[Woem]

Omegle is a place for great experiments/wastes of time. For instance open up two windows and paste what each person says to the other. You dirty voyeur!

 

[cobra_ky]

i was in montreal once and i happened to be wearing a nintendo shirt. it was 10am, and there were bunch of people outside waiting to buy tickets for a NOFX show. this one kid walked up to me, with his shirt unbuttoned and drinking out of a bottle in a paperbag and started guching about how much he loved nintendo. he told me the following story:

"one time i played punch-out for like three days while my mom brought me food, and at the end i kicked my nintendo because i was so bored of that fucking game."

i never learned his name, but i'll never forget him.

He must be found. I must meet this man.

you don't meet him. he meets you.

here's another one: a few weeks ago i was at a rest stop off the masspike. this thirtysomething fat guy comes up next to me while i'm filling my drink and says "Hey." he points to his middle-aged girlfriend. "She's gonna give me road head." "congrats", i say, "that's awesome." he asks me if i've ever gotten road head, and i tell him i haven't.

"How do you know then?" "what?", i say. "How do you know it's awesome if you've never done it?" i had to stop and think for a second, then i answered "well, i've driven a car before, and i've also gotten head, so i have to infer that experiencing both at once would be pretty awesome." that seemed to satisfy him and we went our separate ways.

nice couple, i hope they're not dead.

 

[WrongSprite]

Well mine is very pleasant.

Stranger: well hello
You: Well hello there
Stranger: hows it going stranger?
You: Pretty decently thank you stranger, yourself? And what brings you here?
Stranger: i enjoy talking to strangers
Stranger: sometimes even the freaks
Stranger: haha
Stranger: how about yourself?
You: Followed a link from a thread about this website
You: It's fairly random
Stranger: that it is
Stranger: but its always interesting

 

[DazZ.]

for those of you who do want to chat with real strangers, go here

http://omegle.com/

that'll get them started on a story.

This is stupidly fun.

 

[DazZ.]

I concur, I was suprised how many horny 15 year olds were there xD.

Just had about a 15 minuite conversation that wasn't spam or overly boring. Im quite impressed with the internet of late.

Only conversation other than that one was about the Cheetos dude screwing the kool-aid dudes wife... fun times.