Another Apocalypse thread, WHOOPEE!

[ChuQue37]

ITT, we'll be discussing reasons why the apocalypse can't happen in the near future, or how to prevent the apocalypse. I'll start with some examples.

Why the Apocalypse can't happen

If God were to do the whole rapture thing, then the entire human race would be judged. Including babies. According to the Bible, 7 is the age of reason, and if you die before then, you're excluded from having to have decided between heaven and hell, instead being sent to limbo.

BUT. If we apply the concept of original sin, then all those children who were younger than 7, would be sent to hell when the rapture happened! OH NOOO! So either god is an uncaring asshole, he can't plan worth shit, or he's going to stop all births from taking place 7 years before the rapture

How to Prevent the Apocalypse from Happening

No man can know the day or the hour, right? Therefore, if someone were to predict the date of the apocalypse, *coughMay21stcough* God would be all like, "Naw beyotches, I'm not gonna end it then" right?

Therefore, if everyone in the world were to predict a different date for the rapture, we'd have another 6 billion days until the rapture happened, at least! Crisis Averted.

Loopholes ftw. Post yours here.

 

[OptimisticPessimist]

god is an uncaring asshole

Bingo. Pretty much sums it up for me.

 

[Rex Fallout]

ITT, we'll be discussing reasons why the apocalypse can't happen in the near future, or how to prevent the apocalypse. I'll start with some examples.

Why the Apocalypse can't happen

If God were to do the whole rapture thing, then the entire human race would be judged. Including babies. According to the Bible, 7 is the age of reason, and if you die before then, you're excluded from having to have decided between heaven and hell, instead being sent to limbo.

BUT. If we apply the concept of original sin, then all those children who were younger than 7, would be sent to hell when the rapture happened! OH NOOO! So either god is an uncaring asshole, he can't plan worth shit, or he's going to stop all births from taking place 7 years before the rapture

How to Prevent the Apocalypse from Happening

No man can know the day or the hour, right? Therefore, if someone were to predict the date of the apocalypse, *coughMay21stcough* God would be all like, "Naw beyotches, I'm not gonna end it then" right?

Therefore, if everyone in the world were to predict a different date for the rapture, we'd have another 6 billion days until the rapture happened, at least! Crisis Averted.

Loopholes ftw. Post yours here.

WWIII is happening soon though, America vs China. And I wanna know where you got the age of reason thing because from what I've heard all children go then during the millennia of peace they grow up and decide who to follow.

 

[Bob the frantic]

How to Prevent the Apocalypse from Happening

If everyone in the world were to predict a different date for the rapture, we'd have another 6 billion days until the rapture happened, at least! Crisis Averted.

Loopholes ftw.

Problem 1 - coordinating the opinions of 6 billion people
Solution - Get a group of people to just keep changing their guesses continuously until the end of time (Exchange members if death occurs). You're welcome.

Loopholes are awesome. I mean for a supposed omnipotent being, you think God would have noticed this, right?

 

[ChuQue37]

god is an uncaring asshole

Bingo. Pretty much sums it up for me.

Taking my words out of context, applaudable.

Also Bob, Thank you.

 

[EdwardOrchard]

No man can know the day or the hour, right? Therefore, if someone were to predict the date of the apocalypse, *coughMay21stcough* God would be all like, "Naw beyotches, I'm not gonna end it then" right?

Therefore, if everyone in the world were to predict a different date for the rapture, we'd have another 6 billion days until the rapture happened, at least! Crisis Averted.

You know, what you just said reminds me of the Unexpected Hanging paradox.

A judge tells a prisoner, "You will be executed one day this week. The executioner will come for you at noon, the day will be a surprise to you."
The prisoner then goes back to his cell and maxes his relax, because after thinking it through logically, he knows that he won't be executed at all.
You see, he couldn't be executed on Friday because if, on Thursday afternoon, he has not been executed, then that would only leave Friday. Since the day will be a surprise to him, it can't be Friday because he will know that its coming.
By that same logic, it can't be Thursday, because if he hasn't been executed by Wednesday afternoon, then he'll know that it is coming.
He then works it through for every day in the week, and realizes that he simply won't be executed.
Confident in his logic, he goes to bed and sleeps like a baby.

At noon on Wednesday, the executioner comes for him and takes off his head in a horrific display of medieval brutality. It came as a complete surprise to the prisoner. Everything the judge said would happen, was true.

 

[OptimisticPessimist]

god is an uncaring asshole

Bingo. Pretty much sums it up for me.

Taking my words out of context, applaudable.

Also Bob, Thank you.

I know, right?

 

[5mj7R7yf4Dwr3gdZyyu9PeGNwYjlNrjzuh3iTXQG]

If God were to do the whole rapture thing, then the entire human race would be judged. Including babies. According to the Bible, 7 is the age of reason, and if you die before then, you're excluded from having to have decided between heaven and hell, instead being sent to limbo.

BUT. If we apply the concept of original sin, then all those children who were younger than 7, would be sent to hell when the rapture happened! OH NOOO! So either god is an uncaring asshole, he can't plan worth shit, or he's going to stop all births from taking place 7 years before the rapture

Infant mortality was actually so prevalent in the biblical epoch[footnote]Actually infant mortality is high throughout the entirety of human history, only significantly reduced in some modernized nations.[/footnote], that a child did not attain full personhood until thirty days after birth [footnote]Classical Mosaic law places the naming day on a neonate's thirtieth day. If he or she dies before that day, the infant is not to be formally grieved by the parents. Modern Jewish law has updated this to suit the current era, but this does put some thorns into the abortion-obstructionist viewpoint that the bible affirms personhood beginning at conception.[/footnote]. This seems to indicate the biblical god does not give much of a crap about the fate of children.

However, even with original sin, you haven't found a real dilemma since Limbo is actually in Hell. The name comes from the Latin limbus, meaning fringe or boundary. Indeed, Limbo is on the edge of Hell, but still firmly within its borders.

But one doesn't have to look hard to see that god is not particularly kind or just or merciful or loving. Google Hard Passages and you'll see plenty of other ways that god would get booted out of the United Nations and charged, in accordance to the Geneva Conventions with crimes against humanity.

238U.

 

[Ambi]

Where in the bible does it say seven is the age of reason?

Anyway, religious prophecies can be dismissed because there's no evidence.