Well, another boring relationship thread. But advice would be most welcome to this confused little man.
FIst, antecedents. I'm a very shy and awkward man, having a lot of problem to form relationship with other poeple, specially women I find attracvite. As such, I don't have that much experience with romantic relationships.
A little over a week ago one of my friends organized a party. Not a big reunion nor nothing, just our group of freinds, that been seeing each other since grade school and his college freinds, which is also a reduced group. At first we did what we always do, stay in our little group talking amongst ourselves and not mixing both groups. Usual stuff. My friends were pestering me to go and chat with the girls without boyfriends, but I just could make myself do it. But the mutual friend finally insisted that we mixed and so we did. Nothing changed much, but finally a couple of my friends helped me start a conversation with a girl. Anf it was real fun. We talked for the rest of the party, even alone. I didn't even mind her breaking my personal space (a really big deal with me and stangers). We talked all night and when she was about to leave I followed my friends adviced and kissed her. And she liked it, to me never ending surprise. I even got her phone number.
I called her the next day and arrenged a date. She agreed. But a little bit after that out mutual friend phoned me an d told me "Dude, don't get your hopes up. She's a little bit crazy". Of course that made me worry. I was going nuts about that phrase. But I met her and had a great date. We had fun, we laughed and I ended up staying at her place all night. But I also learned during one of the conversations that she wasn't much into "serious" relationships and prefered open ones. At that time I didn't think much about it. but after meeting with my friend who told me to get things straight as soon as possible, I agrred and wanted to know where we stood.
So on our second date we were having fun, but i had to bring this issue up. So at the least awkward moment I could find I asked her. She told me straight up that at the moment she wasn't looking for a boyfirend (nor had been looking for a long time) and she was already seeing someone else. I told her the truth. I didn't care that much, I wanted to continue seing her and while she's being honest I do not mind that much that she is seeing another man. I just want to see her more and let life take us and our relationship to wherever it would feel natural (although I'm afraid I didn't express myself correctly). So with that clear the date went on pretty well. But after dinner, when we were about to split ways (we both had things to do early and live far apart from each other) she brought up the issue again. And here is what is killing me. She told me that she really likes that other guy and that she has tried dating two people at once and that it was a lot of trouble. So she was torn up about seeing me or leaving me.
That kicked hard. Really hard. I told her again that I still want to see her, but maybe said the wrong thing that I expected that in a later date we even might consider each other in a serious relationship,but I felt I had to be honest even if it was too soon (now I'm not too sure if that was the right move). And she kissed me and hugged with real affection. I'm bad a at reading people, but it really seemed to me that she does like me. But she has that problem. She doesn't know if it is worth it.
So fellow Escapists. Is there anything I can do? Is there anyway to try and make her fall more for me? Or I must really only wait? I'm trying to keep off her back and let her have her own space (she gives the vibe of being a very free girl and I'm of the opinion that personal space is important) but it is killing me. I'm planning on calling her again tonight, to make another date if possible, as a few days have passed and I want to see her next week. I am doing the right thing? I'm totally lost. I don't want it to end after such a short while, even more because I don't think that "It might be a bother" is a gret reason, but is there anything I can do? I'm lost in a terrible ocean of doubt. Any advice would be appriciated.
P.S. I couldn't help myself to name the thread after a QOTSA song. I damn my mind.
FIst, antecedents. I'm a very shy and awkward man, having a lot of problem to form relationship with other poeple, specially women I find attracvite. As such, I don't have that much experience with romantic relationships.
A little over a week ago one of my friends organized a party. Not a big reunion nor nothing, just our group of freinds, that been seeing each other since grade school and his college freinds, which is also a reduced group. At first we did what we always do, stay in our little group talking amongst ourselves and not mixing both groups. Usual stuff. My friends were pestering me to go and chat with the girls without boyfriends, but I just could make myself do it. But the mutual friend finally insisted that we mixed and so we did. Nothing changed much, but finally a couple of my friends helped me start a conversation with a girl. Anf it was real fun. We talked for the rest of the party, even alone. I didn't even mind her breaking my personal space (a really big deal with me and stangers). We talked all night and when she was about to leave I followed my friends adviced and kissed her. And she liked it, to me never ending surprise. I even got her phone number.
I called her the next day and arrenged a date. She agreed. But a little bit after that out mutual friend phoned me an d told me "Dude, don't get your hopes up. She's a little bit crazy". Of course that made me worry. I was going nuts about that phrase. But I met her and had a great date. We had fun, we laughed and I ended up staying at her place all night. But I also learned during one of the conversations that she wasn't much into "serious" relationships and prefered open ones. At that time I didn't think much about it. but after meeting with my friend who told me to get things straight as soon as possible, I agrred and wanted to know where we stood.
So on our second date we were having fun, but i had to bring this issue up. So at the least awkward moment I could find I asked her. She told me straight up that at the moment she wasn't looking for a boyfirend (nor had been looking for a long time) and she was already seeing someone else. I told her the truth. I didn't care that much, I wanted to continue seing her and while she's being honest I do not mind that much that she is seeing another man. I just want to see her more and let life take us and our relationship to wherever it would feel natural (although I'm afraid I didn't express myself correctly). So with that clear the date went on pretty well. But after dinner, when we were about to split ways (we both had things to do early and live far apart from each other) she brought up the issue again. And here is what is killing me. She told me that she really likes that other guy and that she has tried dating two people at once and that it was a lot of trouble. So she was torn up about seeing me or leaving me.
That kicked hard. Really hard. I told her again that I still want to see her, but maybe said the wrong thing that I expected that in a later date we even might consider each other in a serious relationship,but I felt I had to be honest even if it was too soon (now I'm not too sure if that was the right move). And she kissed me and hugged with real affection. I'm bad a at reading people, but it really seemed to me that she does like me. But she has that problem. She doesn't know if it is worth it.
So fellow Escapists. Is there anything I can do? Is there anyway to try and make her fall more for me? Or I must really only wait? I'm trying to keep off her back and let her have her own space (she gives the vibe of being a very free girl and I'm of the opinion that personal space is important) but it is killing me. I'm planning on calling her again tonight, to make another date if possible, as a few days have passed and I want to see her next week. I am doing the right thing? I'm totally lost. I don't want it to end after such a short while, even more because I don't think that "It might be a bother" is a gret reason, but is there anything I can do? I'm lost in a terrible ocean of doubt. Any advice would be appriciated.
P.S. I couldn't help myself to name the thread after a QOTSA song. I damn my mind.
