Anti-Humor

[Krion_Vark]

Okay so I am trying to make my friend laugh because she is having a pretty shitty day but that is besides the point. I have been looking up Anti-Humor jokes and find some to be pretty funny. My favorite is:

* What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A Jew is a person adhering to the Jewish faith, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, usually circular bread covered with tomato sauce and cheese with optional garnishes.

So here is my question to you Escapists. have you ever heard of Anti-Humor besides Why did the chicken cross the road. And what are your favorite Anti-humor jokes.

 

[Count Igor]

Damnit, can't we just have normal jokes?
Like

Spoiler: A man walked into a bar.. *grin*

He ordered a drink, drank it, and then went home to go to bed, as it was three in the morning.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.

What's green with legs?
Grass. (I lied about the legs)

What do you call a middle eastern man in the cockpit of a plane?
A pilot, you racist.

 

[Fraught]

What did Batman tell Robin when they were getting into the Batmobile?

'Get in the Batmobile!'

Okay, okay, that's just one of the few ones I've heard.

 

[Nickolai77]

An Irishman walks past a bar....

 

[guntotingtomcat]

What do you call a black man flying a plane?



A pilot.
Edit: Damn, someone got there first. Okay, what did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas?

Cancer

 

[The Salty Vulcan]

Hau Long is a china man

 

[Krion_Vark]

Hau Long is a china man

Hu is the Chinese president.

 

[arcticspoon]

A Jew met a muslim. A certain amount of time later, the Six-Day War occured. (Optional [And not at ALL recommended]: We lost a lot of good Falafal during that war.)

 

[Sacman]

A man walks into a bar...

The man get's drunk, vents about work and hits on an underage girl with a fake ID. Later he goes home, still mad about work, he beats his wife. His wife calls the police. The man get's arrested. His wife files for a divorce and gains custody of the kids. The man commits suicide years later after struggling through a depression brought on by his failure as a parent...<.<

... and they all lived happily ever after... except the man... he's dead...<.<

 

[AvsJoe]

Q: What's red and shaped like a bucket?
A: A red bucket.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
A: "Where's my tractor?"

An Irishman walks past a bar....

Bwahahaha!

 

[Pegghead]

Q: How many Jews can you fit in a BMW?

A: If it is a standard five-seater model then an average of five, possibly six if they were mostly between the ages of six and ten.

An Irishman, an African-American man and an Australian went to a bar. They had a clean, sociable evening of playful banter and reasonably priced drinks before going home at a reasonable hour.

Yesterday I was driving and I hit a woman...lol jk I don't have a license.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: It died.

 

[Wintermoot]

Hau Long is a china man

hou long is his brother

 

[RatRace123]

Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
A: She had a seizure.

Q: What do you call a paraplegic in the middle of the ocean.
A: Handicapped.

Q: What's the difference between a dead guy and a Roman?
A: There is none, they're both dead.

 

[Hellz_Barz]

whats better than winning gold at the Para-Olympics?
having legs

 

[smithy_2045]

An Irishman, an African-American man and an Australian went to a bar. They had a clean, sociable evening of playful banter and reasonably priced drinks before going home at a reasonable hour.

There's no way an Australian would go home at a reasonable hour after drinking. What a ridiculous suggestion.

 

[Iron Criterion]

This suit is black pause not.

 

[SimuLord]

So a priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. The imam's the designated driver because his religion doesn't allow him to drink alcohol, so the priest and the rabbi get home safely after a friendly night out talking openly and with tolerance about the different elements of the Abrahamic faiths. They all preach tolerance to their respective congregations at the next religious service.

 

[WhoaItsBrett]

"Three blind mice walk into a bar. Being blind, they are mostly unaware of their surroundings, so it would be unethical to derive humor from their predicament."
I heard that one somewhere, I can't remember where though.

 

[unicron44]

What is a word that ends in u-n-t that describes a woman?

An aunt.