Any Other LGBT Gamers Here?

[Terminal Blue]

Identifying as transgender means that you see yourself, every part of who you are, as the opposite sex. You want to live the rest of your life as the opposite sex.

There are two different kinds of transgender: FtM and MtF (female to male, and male to female).

I agree with everything else you've said, but being transgendered doesn't always mean immediately leaping from one stable identity to another. That is, of course, the medical ideal but it's not necessarily how everyone's experience actually plays out. There are a huge range of transitional identities beyond simply being MtF and FtM, and some people do end up living their entire lives in those states.

I don't think I'll ever understand the need for borders in these kinds of issues, I've never met anyone (including myself) who has cross-dressed and "passed" and yet never considered the impact of doing so on their personal identity. Likewise, I've met many trans people who once experimented or played around with gender expression and yet never dreamed it would come to impact so much on their identities.

Yeah, to a certain extent we all need to draw out all the lines and borders and medical conditions in order to allocate the demand for rights, but in the end these are crude generalizations. Gender is at least as much about praxis (about how you socially behave and appear) as it is about some purely internal notion of identity, and the fact that the two don't always match up shouldn't be scary, particularly not from a trans-liberation perspective.

To quote my MtF friend: "If I see myself as a woman in every way, then if I put on women's clothing, am I really "cross dressing", or am I just "dressing"?

Isn't the same true of everyone, though?

The notion that "cross-dressing" and "dressing" are different things relies on the idea that there's some pure and essential essence to a person that clothing expresses. I disagree, the relationship between identity and clothing is not one way. Clothing doesn't just express who you are, it makes you who you are (at least socially), that's why it's so important.

The assumption that cross-dressing is just something people do "for a laugh" and is somehow completely separate and sealed off from a person's identity is pretty weird to me. The entire appeal of cross dressing lies in its ability to change how people see you and thus, in some way, to change how you see yourself, even if it doesn't translate into a stable identification with the opposite gender that doesn't mean it has no bearing on a person.

I'm not saying that "cross-dressing" and "transgendered" are the same thing, of course, but I'm saying that I've never encountered this clear and distinct line where one ends and the other begins. Some people may experience that line as a tangible thing, but we shouldn't assume that everyone does.

 

[Raspbryl]

I think your question's been answered.
By like...everyone.
And I hope you thoroughly enjoy your stay with us!



Though I am clearly an unrepresented minority here, as a pansexual. Where's the P I can claim?
check ur privilege escapist

To be fair, I like to also identify as pansexual. I love men, women and everywhere in-between on the spectrum equally.

I agree with this sentiment gender isn't really an issue for me. suppose I'm more of a metaphysical type. less about the body as the person inside it. as it were. its something that came to me when I was lost in the very familiar fog most people of the non-straight\cisgendered variety. (not to say its exclusive don't read into it) its not about the he's or the she's or anything of that quantity. I'm just the kinda person who's just scared of being alone. from where I sit good people are good people and they can only be better by being who they are.
or something..

 

[Abomination]

I hate to burst your bubble, but "straight" is a slang term for heterosexual only. It has nothing to do with whether someone is trans or not.

From Wikipedia:

The term "straight" originated as a mid-20th century gay slang term for heterosexuals, ultimately coming from the phrase "to go straight" (as in "straight and narrow"), or stop engaging in homosexual sex. One of the first uses of the word in this way was in 1941 by author G. W. Henry.[25] Henry's book concerned conversations with homosexual males and used this term in connection with the reference to ex-gays. It currently simply is a colloquial term for "heterosexual" having, like many words, changed in primary meaning over time.

You are wrong.

have we since adopted another word that I didn't know about to describe what is essentially a non-QUILTBAG/non-LGBT?

Provide me this new non-LGBT/non-QUILTBAG word then.

Either way, the point still stands. LGBT/QUILTBAG means the same damn thing: non-(heterosexual and non-trans). Or do you dispute that?

 

[an annoyed writer]

Well, I'm still new to the Escapist, and I've come out of the closet recently as transgendered. It always helps, I find, to make friends with like minded people. Nice to have support, aye?

So, just of out curiosity, any other trans gamers on the Escapist? I'd hate to be alone here.

Glad to see another transgendered person around here. I too am a trans gamer, and we've actually got a couple groups dedicated to that demographic here. If you want to join, just check my profile's group section and join up! One of the groups is locked to outsiders(private group for us ONLY) so just PM the admin to join. Trust me, you're hardly what I'd call alone.

 

[Jayemsal]

Well, I'm still new to the Escapist, and I've come out of the closet recently as transgendered. It always helps, I find, to make friends with like minded people. Nice to have support, aye?

So, just of out curiosity, any other trans gamers on the Escapist? I'd hate to be alone here.

Trans-girl here.

Welcome to the community

We're all loving and accepting here, especially when we all get together.

 

[Raspbryl]

Well, I'm still new to the Escapist, and I've come out of the closet recently as transgendered. It always helps, I find, to make friends with like minded people. Nice to have support, aye?

So, just of out curiosity, any other trans gamers on the Escapist? I'd hate to be alone here.

Trans-girl here.

Welcome to the community

We're all loving and accepting here, especially when we all get together.

ha! good to hear. always nice to see an open community.
I'm kinda new here myself.. well... in an odd sorta way.

 

[Shadowstar38]

Well, I'm still new to the Escapist, and I've come out of the closet recently as transgendered. It always helps, I find, to make friends with like minded people. Nice to have support, aye?

So, just of out curiosity, any other trans gamers on the Escapist? I'd hate to be alone here.

You're not alone. I'm not trans, but bisexuality is a thing.

Also, I made a poll a while ago to assess the sexualities of the Escapist. I couldn't assess gender differences beyond male/female due to a limited number of choices available, but here it is [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.398724-Poll-SCIENCE-DEMANDS-ANSWER-Who-do-you-have-sexytimes-with?page=1].

Just so you can get an idea of the Lgbtqiiaaqwtfbbq population in the Escapist.

For future reference, you can either say LGBT, or say "quiltbag".

Queer/questioning
Undecided
Intersex
Lesbian
Transgender/Transsexual
Bisexual
Asexual
Gay

Fuck...I'm not going to remember all these letters.

*throws table*

 

[Darken12]

Hey, I'm LGBT+ (somewhere between gay and bi, not sure what the exact label is),

Bi covers the entire spectrum between straight and gay, not just the exact center. "Bi leaning gay" is probably the easiest way to put it, although there are others. We had a thread about "androsexual" vs "gynosexual" a few weeks ago that did a great job of parsing different terms. There was a handy chart.

Yeah, should've been more specific: I meant "one word" when I said label. As far as I know, there isn't a one-word label for that.

Hey, I'm LGBT+ (somewhere between gay and bi, not sure what the exact label is)

I believe most people (from what I've heard anyway) call it "bisexual, male preference"(bi male pref) or "bisexual, female preference" (bi female pref) if you're female. Which is technically what I am, but I identify as gay because the male pref is very strong with this one, so I could never really have a real relationship with a woman.

Yeah, I see what you mean, but like I said above, I was talking about a one-word label (like how gay, lesbian and bisexual neatly identify pretty much what your deal is). There's bicurious, but that's basically the exact opposite, and homo-flexible doesn't quite cut it (since it sounds more like it's exactly as you describe for you; mostly gay but a little flexible in some regards when it comes to attraction to the opposite sex). I really wish we could just say our Kinsey scale numbers instead, but oh well.

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

Yeah, should've been more specific: I meant "one word" when I said label. As far as I know, there isn't a one-word label for that.
I really wish we could just say our Kinsey scale numbers instead, but oh well.

If I recall, bisexual covers everything that isn't a 1, 2, 6, or 7. Or a 0 if you update for Asexuals.

Anyway, Kinsey scale is useful, certainly, but some people get pissy about it because it isn't perfect. As if any scale is.

The problem is, one word really isn't enough to quantify something as varied as sexuality. Sure, you can lump it into a few big words, but then you want to break it down and specify which subset you are.

Like I said before, we had this other really awesome thread where we had a chart that tracked four different aspects of sexuality so you could identify yourself more precisely. It was very nifty.

Anyway, point is, if you insist on a one-word label, you're bisexual. If you want something more specific, you need more words.

Edit: ... I'm post 69. **giggle**

 

[thenumberthirteen]

Just poking my head in to say hi, and recommending the Escapist Gaymers user group. They're a really swell bunch. And I'm not just saying that because my boyfriend runs it

 

[Myndnix]

I think your question's been answered.
By like...everyone.
And I hope you thoroughly enjoy your stay with us!



Though I am clearly an unrepresented minority here, as a pansexual. Where's the P I can claim?
check ur privilege escapist

To be fair, I like to also identify as pansexual. I love men, women and everywhere in-between on the spectrum equally.

Well that's good to know, but I should tell you I was joking. About being unrepresented, not about being pansexual.
I'm pretty sure that at this point, we're one of the most diverse gaming communities you can find.

 

[Queen Michael]

I like wearing girly clothing. I'm not sure if that counts as LGBT.

Wearing female clothes alone is "cross dressing". Transgender is NOT "cross dressing".

Identifying as transgender means that you see yourself, every part of who you are, as the opposite sex. You want to live the rest of your life as the opposite sex.

There are two different kinds of transgender: FtM and MtF (female to male, and male to female). I myself am not transgender, I am cisgender (cisgender means you see yourself as the sex you were born as). Most people are cisgendered, just like most people are heterosexual.

It's important to know, that gender and sexual identify are two totally different things. So, you can be MtF transgender, but gay. Or MtF transgender, and straight.

It is also important to know, that transgender people want to be identified as the gender they see themselves as. Calling someone who is MtF transgender "he", is rude and insensitive beyond belief. And vice versa.

So is calling transgender people "cross dressers", just FYI.

There are different levels of transgender. Some go all the way, meaning they get SRS (sex reassignment surgery) so that they are as close to the gender they are as possible. Some just do HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and no surgery. Some don't do HRT either.

I know a few people who are transgender, and they are some of the nicest people I know. And they are happy being female. They aren't depressed or sad anymore. This life is too short to not be happy with who you are.

Thank you.

Sorry to say this, but I already know all this. I've had a transgender friend for years. I just wasn't sure if the "T" in "LBGT" stands for "Trans," "Transsexual" or "Transgender."

 

[piinyouri]

Greetings OP!
Male to female transgender here, I think you'll fit in fine.
You'll find there's quite a demographic of like minded individuals here.
I'm sure you'll have no shortage of folks to talk with.

 

[Jenvas1306]

Before I say what I really want to say, I want to put a little disclaimer. my life philosophy is "as long as you don't hurt other people (unless they want you to) then do or be who you want to be" and I'm not just saying that.

Right, now we got that out the way....

Why do full post op transgender folk hold onto there previous sex? Instead of "hi, I'm a girl/woman" I always find it's "hi, I'm a girl/woman but I was a guy".

Why are you putting that call back to your previous gender on the end? Surely, it's a big risk to yourself ... especially to any perspective partners!

I think it's kind of like admitting you cheated on somebody, you admit your affair/previous gender to make yourself feel better by not keeping a secret but you just hurt the other person, who is now forced to deal with the truth.

I am honestly just asking, if you do leave out your past gender then please don't respond. Thanks peoples!

society just doesnt give us a status of cured transsexualism at this point, no matter if pre or post op. It can be very dangerous to lie about it, instead of just getting a disgusted 'no' and no contact with someone you could end up with way worse than just emotional pain.
Trabsfolks are sort of screwed either way, you are open about it and some people wont see you as who/what you actually are, you hide it and if that bubble ever pops the backlash can be of terrible dimensions. (like a guy who cant stand that he was attracted to a woman, whom he now sees as a guy so he has to murder her).
I am open about it, but I dont rub it in everyones face, its part of my past and its part of what made me who I am today. My friends know, just sometimes forget about it, my bf knows very well but couldnt mind less.
I dont need to be dishonest and I am still accepted as who I am, which is also as a woman, thats how it should be.

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

Yeah, thanks people, you just reminded me I still have to do the readings for the Gender module lecture and tutorial for my Social Sciences in Australia class tomorrow. *grumble*

 

[Rascarin]

Lesbian here, with cross dressing tendencies, and am currently planning my wedding to my trans fiance.

Woooo, diversity!

But anyway; welcome, and congrats on coming out.

 

[Cameron Everett]

Not any of the above but a huge supporter of LGBT rights and freedoms, oh and my girlfriend is transgender. On a Tangential and this really applies to Trans-peoples on the site but for your interest Canada just passed Bill C-279 which makes it illegal to discriminate against transgender individuals! (makes me proud to call this country my home)

 

[Adultism]

Mega homo here, welcome to the community friend.

 

[Miss Layton]

Well, I'm still new to the Escapist, and I've come out of the closet recently as transgendered. It always helps, I find, to make friends with like minded people. Nice to have support, aye?

So, just of out curiosity, any other trans gamers on the Escapist? I'd hate to be alone here.

Trans-girl here.

Welcome to the community

We're all loving and accepting here, especially when we all get together.

Thanks!

 

[Miss Layton]

Greetings OP!
Male to female transgender here, I think you'll fit in fine.
You'll find there's quite a demographic of like minded individuals here.
I'm sure you'll have no shortage of folks to talk with.

Heh, yeah, I'm starting to see that now.