Anybody find sex overrated?

[Chris Moses]

I have to wonder how many 20+ y.o. virgins are virgins because they can't find a girl or because they can't find a smoking hot girl that could've walked out of a porn or their fantasies?

I learned early on in high school that since I wasn't a jock I wasn't going to get a cheerleader... There were still plenty of other girls around...

Long story short, I think a lot of "nerds" doom themselves to being unfulfilled because they aim their sights too high and think that just because they can't get that girl that they can't get any girl. And if you hate the world of high standards of physical beauty, why perpetuate those standards by adopting them?

 

[backintheussr1922]

Isn't everything advertised over rated? For example, look at the games we play. Well, more like the games you play, my games are awesome! Ha ha.

 

[THM]

Long story short, I think a lot of "nerds" doom themselves to being unfulfilled because they aim their sights too high and think that just because they can't get that girl that they can't get any girl. And if you hate the world of high standards of physical beauty, why perpetuate those standards by adopting them?

If that was the whole problem, I might agree with you. Unfortunately, it isn't. Unrealistic standards ARE part of the problem, but it isn't just the guys making that mistake. Women want the fantasy image, too - how much has Fifty Shades made now? And it's not as if guys like that are just falling from the sky - or that they exist at all.

A solipsistic society, not being good with people, performance anxiety...these are all part of what might make someone feel unfulfilled. Not to mention looking at the news, and getting an added fear that even if you do manage to successfully talk to someone, and end up having sex, you could end up in trouble with the law. It isn't an epidemic, but it DOES happen. (No, I don't mean underage sex, but 'retroactively rescinded consent'.)

Being unfulfilled sucks, but compared with jail time, I know what I'd choose.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Yes and no.

Sex really is that good. If it's not, then you need to try harder. Get inventive if needs be. Still, there's really nothing in life worth going on that much about- teenage guys are just idiots.

...And does anyone else think an online gaming forum discussing whether or not sex is overrated sounds like a bad joke?

 

[Ishal]

...And does anyone else think an online gaming forum discussing whether or not sex is overrated sounds like a bad joke?

Depends on if you buy into the stereotype(s) of what gamers are.

Are they nerds who are virgins for various reasons? Are they ones who got friendzoned? Are they the dreaded basement dwelling misogynerds???

This site is not the armpit of the internet, no matter how many variations of the above lurk around here. Most people here are having healthy relationships, or at the very least have had experience at some point. I enjoy reading these threads and the trend seems to be skew toward "normal" in that regard. I haven't had experience, but that's due to my own choices and, perhaps, problems.

Personally I can go without it. As mentioned above with the rescinding consent thing, and the possibility of having a kid, no matter how remote... I'm content to sit on the sidelines, and if need be, remain there.

 

[kitsunefather]

Like anything in life, it depends on the effort you want to put into it, and who you're working with. I had an ex who didn't like any kind of foreplay, and lay lifeless during the act, asking repeatedly if I was done yet. That sex wasn't just overrated, it was actively depressing. My wife (when we can get the boy to sleep before her) is a much more active participant, whom I enjoy spending a great deal of time with.

 

[Parasondox]

Lifeless sex is boring sex. Is sex overrating. Depends on who ask. Me? It can be fun IF YOU PUT SOME DAMN EFFECT INTO IT!!

Men?!?! Dont be afraid to go down on your woman. Dont start acting "tough" and bullshitting yourself by saying, "nah I don't eat pussy man. That's disgusting", but you still want her to suck on your piss pipe. Go be boring else where. Enjoy it, have fun with it. Dont be like a gym goer. They do the same moves all the time and has no affect on anyone. Try something new, enjoy the moment. Dont rush and for God sakes, COMMUNICATE PEOPLE!!!

 

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

I don't know if we're even answering this correctly or not.

Are we just talking about sex in general? Then there's no way to answer that.

I've had my share of sex, but I've never had an experience of a drag out, body limiting orgasm that my friends have experienced before. I've never had sex that blew my mind... There's a pun in that last sentence, but I can't be bothered to continue it.

If I had sex where I got off and it felt amazing, I guess I could answer. But I barely get off as it unless it's by manual means. So does that mean I had physical incapability with my partners? That I'm sexual deadened? That I haven't found my 'thing' or kink that gets me off? Or that sex isn't my thing? There is almost no standard way to answer that, so a question like this seems unapproachable.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

...And does anyone else think an online gaming forum discussing whether or not sex is overrated sounds like a bad joke?

Depends on if you buy into the stereotype(s) of what gamers are.

Are they nerds who are virgins for various reasons? Are they ones who got friendzoned? Are they the dreaded basement dwelling misogynerds???

This site is not the armpit of the internet, no matter how many variations of the above lurk around here. Most people here are having healthy relationships, or at the very least have had experience at some point. I enjoy reading these threads and the trend seems to be skew toward "normal" in that regard. I haven't had experience, but that's due to my own choices and, perhaps, problems.

Personally I can go without it. As mentioned above with the rescinding consent thing, and the possibility of having a kid, no matter how remote... I'm content to sit on the sidelines, and if need be, remain there.

Because jokes are never based around stereotypes?

 

[Ishal]

...And does anyone else think an online gaming forum discussing whether or not sex is overrated sounds like a bad joke?

Depends on if you buy into the stereotype(s) of what gamers are.

Are they nerds who are virgins for various reasons? Are they ones who got friendzoned? Are they the dreaded basement dwelling misogynerds???

This site is not the armpit of the internet, no matter how many variations of the above lurk around here. Most people here are having healthy relationships, or at the very least have had experience at some point. I enjoy reading these threads and the trend seems to be skew toward "normal" in that regard. I haven't had experience, but that's due to my own choices and, perhaps, problems.

Personally I can go without it. As mentioned above with the rescinding consent thing, and the possibility of having a kid, no matter how remote... I'm content to sit on the sidelines, and if need be, remain there.

Because jokes are never based around stereotypes?

Of course they are. But a simple perusing of this thread will show that the joke kinda falls flat here. Maybe try /v/ or a Reddit board, it'd be more applicable there. All I'm saying.

 

[mantistoboggan]

For whatever reason, I struggle to get a lot of enjoyment out of sex unless it's with someone who I actually have feelings for. Casual sex has never really done it for me - it just leaves me feeling disgusted and empty. For that reason, I would say sex is overrated. But on the other hand, sex with the right person can be amazing. It really just depends. For the most part, I'd rather masturbate than hook up with some random girl. But sex with a girl I care about feels beyond great.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I think sex is overrated, but then again I'm essentially asexual and panromantic... Which means if there is gonna be sex, the person has to be right, at which point it would be "making love", not just sex. Still the sex part really isn't all that interesting to me, the intimacy and closeness is more important.

This is basically the same boat I'm in (I'm also ase) and when I have sex, it's because I recognize this being important to my partner.

I have nothing against people who just want sex for the sake of having sex, but if I don't care about my partner sex isn't happening. I think "making love" though can be quite beautiful and the cuddling afterward is the best part.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I have to wonder how many 20+ y.o. virgins are virgins because they can't find a girl or because they can't find a smoking hot girl that could've walked out of a porn or their fantasies?

Fox 'n Grapes all over. Fox can't reach Grapes, Fox goes "they're not ripe anyway". Good old cognitive dissonance fixing itself.

 

[fenrizz]

Sex overrated?
Don't be silly.

If you think sex is overrated the either you are doing it wrong or you have unrealistic expectations.

Of course, being in a relationsship and knowing your partner well only makes it better.

 

[game-lover]

I think it can be overrated to a degree. Or at least elements of it.

Granted, I reply as a 27 year old virgin myself whose main reason for not having it yet is no prospects attraction wise emotionally and physically.

But it seems like it's not just having sex that's the endgame. Oh no. Eventually, there comes a point where it's all about the Best way to have it. What specifically comes to my mind in particular is the best place.

What, beds? Who uses beds anymore? Let's try the car. Car's boring... let's use this field that my or may not be abandoned. Or the beach. Or a public restroom. Let's sneak into church to do it on the altar.

Now maybe this is the prude talking because I won't hesitate to say I'm rather prudish but... WHY?? Just why? You're not doing anything differently at this concert that you haven't already done at home. What's the deal?

 

[Reasonable Atheist]

Ive been with my current lady for a few years, I firmly believe that if you have grown uninterested in physical intimacy with your partner, you have the wrong partner

I think it can be overrated to a degree. Or at least elements of it.

Granted, I reply as a 27 year old virgin myself whose main reason for not having it yet is no prospects attraction wise emotionally and physically.

But it seems like it's not just having sex that's the endgame. Oh no. Eventually, there comes a point where it's all about the Best way to have it. What specifically comes to my mind in particular is the best place.

What, beds? Who uses beds anymore? Let's try the car. Car's boring... let's use this field that my or may not be abandoned. Or the beach. Or a public restroom. Let's sneak into church to do it on the altar.

Now maybe this is the prude talking because I won't hesitate to say I'm rather prudish but... WHY?? Just why? You're not doing anything differently at this concert that you haven't already done at home. What's the deal?

Adrenaline is the deal.

 

[Solsbury_Grille]

Sex isn't overrated. Bad sex, stupid sex, on the other hand, is highly overrated.

 

[elvor0]

And it never got better, lest you say it was a single bad experience or she's not that good. Multiple times with multiple partners. Boring as shit to the point I'd get my partner off, then just leave before getting off myself. It wasn't worth the extra effort or time.

Out of curiosity what exactly do you find boring about it? Does it not feel good or what? I mean the way you describe it, it sounds like you're grinding out a meter and then expecting fireworks to go off at 100% rather than enjoying the actual moment. Heck, if you're not even bothering to get yourself off, of course you find it boring as shit. Sorry, but I am going to have to put that down to bad experiences and expecting unicorns to descend from the heavens as a major contributing factor to your lack of enjoyment. And of course if you're going into it /expecting/ a bad time, not only are you not going to enjoy it, your partner obviously isn't going to enjoy it either.

Captcha: Nosy Parker. Don't judge me Captcha.

I think sex is overrated, but then again I'm essentially asexual and panromantic... Which means if there is gonna be sex, the person has to be right, at which point it would be "making love", not just sex. Still the sex part really isn't all that interesting to me, the intimacy and closeness is more important.

Can you really describe yourself as asexual if you have any interest in sex (or making love), sorry but it's something that really bugs me. If you are asexual, you have NO interest in sex whatsoever. No ifs, buts, passing interests, right conditions or coconuts. Any conditionals attached to the very black and white statement of "I'm asexual" completely invalidate the statement.

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

I think sex is overrated, but then again I'm essentially asexual and panromantic... Which means if there is gonna be sex, the person has to be right, at which point it would be "making love", not just sex. Still the sex part really isn't all that interesting to me, the intimacy and closeness is more important.

Can you really describe yourself as asexual if you have any interest in sex (or making love), sorry but it's something that really bugs me. If you are asexual, you have NO interest in sex whatsoever. No ifs, buts, passing interests, right conditions or coconuts. Any conditionals attached to the very black and white statement of "I'm asexual" completely invalidate the statement.

That's a bit of a misconception and asexuality [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality] is a contentious subject overall. Still it generally is characterized by a lack of sexual attraction, or low, or absent sexual activity. Weather or not one actually has sex, or can be aroused isn't exactly a qualification for asexuality in humans. It's also not an absolute statement. Since I really have no interest in sex I stated asexual with the qualification of "essentially", meaning that I can be aroused under the right conditions, by a person who is compatible, but otherwise I have no interest. Still asexuality as a human term isn't total lack of sexuality, it's a general low level of sexual attraction, or/and little to no sexual activity because of a lack of attraction.