Anyone got any advice on writing a script?

[awesomeClaw]

Okay, here´s the deal:

In my school, about 5 months from now, we´re going to do a play. Now, what the play is about has not yet been decided, but i´ve begam writing on a script that i will suggest to my class.
Does anyone have any advice on how to write scripts?

Here´s the first page, please give critque(Please note: the names are Swedish, so don´t mind them):

(Stage dark. Background is set up. In the classroom. Johan(J), Kalle(K), Pundar-Palle(PP), and Bethany(B) sit down on their chairs. Rest of class takes position. The teacher(T) is in the front of the class.)

T: Now kids, as you all know, it´s time to begin on your fantasy novels today!

(Whole class whines - except J)

T: Now now, this can be a fun adventure!

K: I just remembered that i can´t write! I´ve got hemoroids!
J: Yeesh, thanks for sharing that with us!
T: Now now, let´s not get unfriendly.

(J and K glare angrily at eachother.)

T: By the way, i want the whole class to welcome a new student! His name is Karl(K)! Now, i want you all to be extra nice to him. You see, he has a disorder called Teatris, that makes him randomly start singing!

B: Poor bastard...

J: Yeah, really. Anyway, let´s start on o-

(K runs in on stage and sings Dancing queen until the Teacher stops him.)

So, what do you think?

 

[awesomeClaw]

Well, you might want to clarify this new student Karl, you haven't mentioned him in your scene introduction but you've given him the same letter ("K") as Kalle - haemorrhoids boy.

Anyways you say you'd like ideas on when your story can go from here.

It seems that K's syndrome could turn out to not be a syndrome at all but simply a mis-diagnosed predisposition for bursting into dance as a response to troubles at home, his role as a father figure for his morbidly shy baby sister and a deep desire to make everyone feel happier. Karl could develop into the deus ex machina for the whole school, solving every problem with a few simple words and mayhap a merry jig or two.

In the end (and this is where it could get non-stereotypical) Karl attracts the attention of the class whore Beth who does a complete 180* and endeavours to change her ways in order to have Karl fall in honest - no strings attached - love with her. His obliging but a-sexual response to these advances gradually reveals his troubled home life through unanswered questions and telling gestures, and leads to Bethany taking it upon herself to go to his house and stand up for him.

HILARITY ENSUES!

Yeah, i don´t think that would go down to well with the teachers.

Anyway, i´ve thought of an outline. How about this?

Bethany, Kalle, Johan and Pundar-Palle are forced together to write the fantasy novel. Johan is the only competent one, while the others are bumbling morons in their way. (Pundar-Palle is probably high, Bethany is a Femi-nazi and Kalle is just an idiot.) So then, they go on to subvert some classic fantasy set-ups. For example, when they go into the woods, Bethany takes over the story and makes Brad Pitt come out of nowhere to have sex with the female protagonist.(only implied, ofcourse.)

How does that sound?