Are you socially awkward by choice?

[Crystalite]

I´m mostly not awkward around people, I like people in general and get on well with most.
Currently I am in a position in my life where I can choose with whom to associate, so I don´t often even see people I don´t like, and the people I like tend to like me.

The only thing that makes me awkward are compliments.
I´m serious, I really have no clue how to properly react when someone gives me one.
I just tend to stammer and look at my feet, making a fool of myself in the process.

But I don´t think that nerdiness and lacking social skills have to correlate.
I am a massive nerd in many things, but so are my friends, even if their area of nerddom are often very different from mine.
Heck, I even know a fashion nerd ;-)
As long as I can stop myself going on tangents about the individual merits of Magic Deckbuilds or the intricacies of Silmarillion plotlines, I´m fine.
And anyway, my friends have learned how to stop me when I do.

 

[KageFenikkusu]

I'm just plain socially awkward to the point were i can barely have a conversation longer than 10 seconds and i just cannot talk to people on the phone but i still have 3 true best friends who don't mind the fact that i am socially awkward and are trying to help me get out of it

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

I'm that odd beast; an extroverted nerd. While I hit the occasional bout of social awkwardness (and really, who doesn't? It's part of life), I'm generally a very sociable person. Heck, any time I go to a club with a group of people, I'm always the first one out on the dance floor. I also keep winding up in leadership positions, not because I like to be in a position of authority (it's definitely not something I seek out), but because I'm generally involved enough (in things that I actually care about) and enough of a people person that some measure of power or another generally winds up in my lap if I stick with something long enough. Granted, middle school was hell, but highschool and especially college is a different world from that, where you aren't punished for being smart or having somewhat unusual interests. Thank goodness for that.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

It's actually difficult for me to decide this which of the two I fall into. I can be very socially awkward or socially competent depending on the situation, the conclusion I have come to is thus:

I don't enjoy 90% of social interaction, it just doesn't interest me at all. When I have conversations with people I'll often find myself thinking in the back of my head "What would a normal person say in this conversation?" Not only that but my main goal with most conversations is to end them as quickly and painlessly so I can get on to other stuff.

However, if I'm actually invested in a conversation then I get very into it, although I think there's still slight traces of social awkwardness lurking in there. My years of trying to avoid conversations have left me somewhat less capable in social situations.

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

I tend to be "Socially awkward" because I have self esteem issues. I tend to assume that nobody wants to speak with me so I don't talk to them unless spoken to. But once a conversation starts I tend to be my normal self. But once it ends it's back to awkward silence. Even if I've spoken to the person 1,000 times I still don't start a conversation unless it's important.

It leads to my best friends texting me once every 3 months to ask why they haven't heard from me.

Are...are you me?

Everything except the last part is pretty much everything I end up doing, and I've gone days without talking to someone. I can't tell you how many times I've had to talk myself up just to talk to someone about something important, only later to feel like an idiot.

 

[JesterRaiin]

So are you socially awkward because you can't help it or do you choose to be an introvert?

That's character trait. Nobody can become somebody else by choice - at least not for long time.

 

[FamoFunk]

Awkward not through choice. I hate it, it makes me feel like a right twat, it's not who I am and it makes me act completely different.

 

[DanielBrown]

I used to be very social(and cocky). I was the guy who got all the girls and had a big circle of friends, but that went away when I got social phobia after an assault and isolation for a period of time.
So it's not by choice and the past five years have been a living hell for me.

 

[Mr.Squishy]

I'm an odd case, being both introverted enough to enjoy a good book and some time alone, but still extroverted enough to appreciate and seek out the company of people, though I'm admittedly clumsy at it.

 

[Chappy]

The people who know me think I'm awkward but I don't know I just don't think they know me well enough, to be honest though I go with their ruling because they can see how I act externally while I judge myself by what I'm thinking Internally at the time.

 

[Lukeje]

Being social requires effort. It was only fairly recently that I realised that that was true for everyone. So yes, most of my social awkwardness was self-inflicted.

 

[EHKOS]

Kind of, I was for a long time, forced. Then I decided if I was to be awkward, then I'd embrace it. Talking like a Malkavian in public is fun. Bonus points for pissing off "princes" or uptight people

 

[bluepilot]

Yeah, I am pretty socially awkward but I have a bunch oh friends who are just as socially awkward as I am.

I think that I cannot help the fact that I am socially awkward but at the same time I choose to remain socially awkward. So, I think that I could change if I wanted to but I am happy with my social awkwardness and I think that just accepting myself in this way contributes to my charm.

 

[Steppin Razor]

I get along with people fairly well most of the time, although I tend to get nervous in large crowds of people that I don't know due to various fears of rejection + shattered self-confidence/self-esteem, and physical contact beyond a mere bump can freak me the fuck out if I'm not aware of it about to happen. So I suppose that whilst I don't really appear socially awkward, that's mostly due to the mask I wear. I guard my thoughts and control my actions so I appear how I want people to see me.

As for why? Well, I have my suspicions, but aren't exactly sure if my mind's fucking with me or not.

What I am not sure is normal is feeling greater discomfort among a crowd of absolute strangers who have no need to make an impression upon in any way (e.g. I am terribly uncomfortable when walking through a mall by myself).

Ah yes, I get that. The feeling that complete and utter strangers are staring at you and stand ready to cast judgement upon you for no reason other than you're walking funny or because you tripped? Completely fucked up, innit? Rational thought and logic yells at you that you're being fucking retarded for even getting hung up on it, and yet... It persists.

 

[CrystalShadow]

I'm not socially awkward, I think...

I have problems in social situations, but they're not so much about being awkward as having the unfortunate combination of being alternately very shy, and somewhat nuts.

However, I do find after a while I withdraw from the world again because too much contact with other people starts to get on my nerves.

Whether you would call that something done 'by choice' kind of gets down to what you consider to be a choice or not.

Can you choose to be annoyed? I'm assuming you can choose how you respond to being annoyed by things, but somehow I don't think the annoyance itself is a choice.

 

[JochemDude]

Nope, in my line of work it's a basic requirement to have somewhat social skills. Not that mine are that good, but I tend to try not being disliked by anyone.

 

[JochemDude]

Crappy Internet ate my post, omnomnomnomnomnom

 

[Something Amyss]

Ok, this is going to sound strange but I've noticed that many people on this site claim to be socially awkward. I've been accused of the same thing but recently I've noticed it seems to be by choice.
I'll elaborate, whenever I meet new people I tend to be very social and get along with almost anyone just fine, I'm open about my more geeky hobbies and can still get along with people I have nothing in common with, but only if I want to. I tend not to like most people (I'm very picky when it comes to the company I keep) so I will avoid them. I seem to dislike the majority of people I meet so because of that I tend to be labeled as having bad social skills.
So are you socially awkward because you can't help it or do you choose to be an introvert?

I'm severely OCD. Not self-diagnosed, it was my doctor who first suggested it and I've been diagnosed by two shrinks. I know self-diagnosis is common on the interwebz, as is misuse of the term OCD.

All my nervous little compulsions and ticks and fears make it hard not to be socially awkward. Which is weird, because I CAN get on with people pretty well, when things are going okay.

Nerdy interest don't help either, I'm sure, but my biggest nerdgasms are music related, where you can kind of get away with it. In fact, I think my OCD is more tolerated, because I'm "an artist, that's what they do."

 

[The Gatherer]

Yup, and I want have it any other way until humanity pulls its socks up