Arx Fatalis, stupid human!

[SunoffaBeach]

"Earth clan bad, me not have fish to eat. Please kill earth clan for us."

**** remember correct words of this goblin in the cave but remember thats where I stopped play this game.

You know why? Read this:
I play many many game. And many many many game with very very bad story and writing. But never see something like Arx Fatalis in my hole life! Some Ultima Underworld fanboys with programming skills want to make good RPG here. They make very good engine, very much item manipulation and magic system. But then, same guys (I think) do the writing for the story. Result: Dialog looks like C++.

But now the story:
I wake up in sell. I **** remember my memory. I walk out of sell and golbins attack me. I kill them and reach military outpost. Everything blood! Soldier in pain before my eyes almost dead neads help. I want to leave and get help but 50 steps left of the outpost i find a bar. I open door and what I see? People drinking beers having best time in their live. What is this??? Outpost attack everyone dead they need help and people in bar are just drinking beer? They even talk about outpost attack but do nothing. *%"ing egoist human race!!!

Ok, I leave bar and go underground back to goblins. But they not attack me anymore. I even trade gemstones with them with my gem dealer license. Very strange. Maybe they **** remember their memory just like me? But I continue. I go to stupid human king to get help. He want me do other stuff for him. I say I dont wanna do other stuff I will only do it when he helps with my lust memory. He says he believe I will remember everything. I say ok then I do it. Hm...strange kind of help.

But I continue. I go underground back to golbins. I visit friendly trolls next to friendly golbins. I visit golbin king and talk to him while he is forever taking a shit. I help trolls I help golbins I help myself and they help me. Ok, I go down one level to mines. Suddenly trolls attack me. I run. Then golbins attack trolls. Trolls attack golbins. Golbins attack me. I attack trolls total massacre!!! What is this??? Why golbins and trolls attack me? Why golbins attack trolls? Ok, golbins enemys again. I dont understand but I continue. Then I see golbins phishing. I want to attack but they smile me and start friendly conversation:

"Earth clan bad, me not have fish to eat. Please kill earth clan for us"

Ok, me want to continue with game but me so confused now feel very sick have to take a break take a shit and think. First, golbins attack, then golbins friendly. Then golbins attack, then golbins friendly again! Something evil *%"ing with their mind? Anyway I never go back to this game so I will never find out. I could tell you more about game but I lost my mind.

Score: Like to give this a fife but I give this a six out of hundred because dis the only game that features gay goblin cook.

Conclusion: Me happy I only pirate this game

 

[vede]

Really, it seems like you keep writing "****" instead of "can't."

And when you say that the game dialog looks like C++, look at yourself. (While it's nothing like C++) You say, "Okay, me want to continue with game but me so confused now feel very sick..."

That just looks like a computer wrote it.

 

[Grampy_bone]

You think Arx Fatalis had crummy writing, you should play that company's other game, Dark Messiah of Might and Magic.

 

[TheBluesader]

Is there a reason it's written like you never learned English and then decided to randomly pick up a grammar book and pretend you did?

I think he's trying to be ironic or something. Very, very badly.

 

[NewClassic_v1legacy]

I could tell you more about game but I lost my mind.

Very nearly clever execution, and this is the line that sets it off. You shot for repercussions of evil [http://spiderdan.co.uk/random/php/doom_re/amazing.png] and missed by a small margin.

Regardless, you shot for it, which is commendable. Although, I'd like to suggest while your bullet was well built, you shot for the wrong target. Don't hit a tank with a hollow-point round. You could've done something interesting, but instead hit the wrong audience with the right content.

Amazingly bad [http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs] aside, you need a little more practice at doing miserably well. I appreciate your effort, but I think you missed the mark.

To be fair, my roommate thought it was dead-on, so you get props for that. So, win-lose. Better than a 0, I guess?

 

[NewClassic_v1legacy]

You know NewClassic, I absolutely LOVE the...Cartoons?, that you referenced.

Uh... Thank you?

 

[Calobi]

Please, I beg of you, even if you were being ironic with bad spelling and grammar, don't misspell the word "can't" the way you did. I'm not easily offended or shocked, but I typically expect a higher level of language from you lovely here and nearly fell off my seat when I started reading this.

 

[Xojins]

This was painful to read.

 

[Bored Tomatoe]

"Earth clan bad, me not have fish to eat. Please kill earth clan for us."

**** remember correct words of this goblin in the cave but remember thats where I stopped play this game.

You know why? Read this:
I play many many game. And many many many game with very very bad story and writing. But never see something like Arx Fatalis in my hole life! Some Ultima Underworld fanboys with programming skills want to make good RPG here. They make very good engine, very much item manipulation and magic system. But then, same guys (I think) do the writing for the story. Result: Dialog looks like C++.

But now the story:
I wake up in sell. I **** remember my memory. I walk out of sell and golbins attack me. I kill them and reach military outpost. Everything blood! Soldier in pain before my eyes almost dead neads help. I want to leave and get help but 50 steps left of the outpost i find a bar. I open door and what I see? People drinking beers having best time in their live. What is this??? Outpost attack everyone dead they need help and people in bar are just drinking beer? They even talk about outpost attack but do nothing. *%"ing egoist human race!!!

Ok, I leave bar and go underground back to goblins. But they not attack me anymore. I even trade gemstones with them with my gem dealer license. Very strange. Maybe they **** remember their memory just like me? But I continue. I go to stupid human king to get help. He want me do other stuff for him. I say I dont wanna do other stuff I will only do it when he helps with my lust memory. He says he believe I will remember everything. I say ok then I do it. Hm...strange kind of help.

But I continue. I go underground back to golbins. I visit friendly trolls next to friendly golbins. I visit golbin king and talk to him while he is forever taking a shit. I help trolls I help golbins I help myself and they help me. Ok, I go down one level to mines. Suddenly trolls attack me. I run. Then golbins attack trolls. Trolls attack golbins. Golbins attack me. I attack trolls total massacre!!! What is this??? Why golbins and trolls attack me? Why golbins attack trolls? Ok, golbins enemys again. I dont understand but I continue. Then I see golbins phishing. I want to attack but they smile me and start friendly conversation:

"Earth clan bad, me not have fish to eat. Please kill earth clan for us"

Ok, me want to continue with game but me so confused now feel very sick have to take a break take a shit and think. First, golbins attack, then golbins friendly. Then golbins attack, then golbins friendly again! Something evil *%"ing with their mind? Anyway I never go back to this game so I will never find out. I could tell you more about game but I lost my mind.

Score: Like to give this a fife but I give this a six out of hundred because dis the only game that features gay goblin cook.

Conclusion: Me happy I only pirate this game

Soooo....just learning english are we?

 

[ianuam]

I think perhaps a more advanced English class is required before attempting another review. Muddled syntax, erroneous spelling, i could go on forever. A poor attempt.

 

[runtheplacered]

Goblins.. not Golbins.

 

[Cheesebob]

The first word of this review is ****...

I stopped reading after that, you could'be chosen a better alternitive to can't

 

[TheBluesader]

The point of a review is to inform the reader. Not to make smug rants, otherwise you just come off as wasting our time.

See, this is why I've never posted a review on here. I save my smug rants for my own terrible little website.

 

[CrafterMan]

/reported

 

[latenightapplepie]

Could blast you for the hurtiness you inflicted upon my eyes just then, but instead I'm going to ask you how you knew it was a homosexual goblin cook. I wasn't aware that goblins had gender - at least I haven't seen goblins depicted with two separate genders. Or did you mean 'gay' as in jovial?

 

[Evilbunny]

Goblins.. not Golbins.

Really? THAT'S what bothered you the most? What about his constant use of the word ****? Did you happen to notice that?