Ask a Bartender!

[gentleben]

Well Bartender, the other night I talked to George about cars. There were so many cars to talk about, like the red ones because everyone knows they go faster. But George said that a spoiler made them go faster then red. He was being a fuckin prick because we all know that spoilers are for pussies that can't afford racing stripes. But like a douche he started going on about flames; I tel ya I should have punched him right then and there but I didn't. And you know why? Because he is my best friend and I love the guy. Please don't tell my wife I said that; oh god I miss her. Like the time I took her to the movies and we uh..you know it completely slipped my mind. Either way, why do all the nuts taste like spit backs?

Because you and George are obviously in a gay bar (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q54LJ5RsqRw). All the nuts had spit on them for a reason.

Also, spoilers only make you go faster if you're driving a rear wheel drive car, it you're driving a front wheel drive car you need a splitter.

If a patron were to order a beer and..say..a glass of wine or a cider in quick succession, would you refuse to serve him/her, knowing that this combination will want to explore the outside world very soon, or just give him/her a warning and serve anyway if he/she insisted?

I wouldn't even give them a warning, in my experience combinations of alcohol don't make you throw up, it's just not knowing when to switch to the next thing.

For example, that saying "beer before liquor, couldn't be sicker" I don't find applies. I generally start my night with beers and then build to spirits. If, however you're drinking quickfucks one second, then beers, then spirits, then creamy cocktails you deserve everything that's coming to you, just for drinking that quickfuck at the beginning you poof.

 

[Pimppeter2]

What's the manliest drink out there

 

[Pimppeter2]

What's the manliest drink out there

Mike's hard lemonade without the lemon.

I always considered that brand kind of gay.

Whats the manliest beer

 

[Ranooth]

Have you ever helped create a Jäger-train and if so how long was it?

 

[gentleben]

What's the manliest drink out there

If someone is trying to impress chicks at the bar by trying to look like a big man, I make them a shot of Absolut Peppar (pepper infused vodka) with a bump of tobasco sauce floating on top. While they're giving me money I start pouring a glass of water and stand there, drinking it myself while they scramble for something to put the fire on their tongue out. Absolutely destroys their chances with the girls they're trying to impress as well. Good times.

are you gonna answer all these questions like a bartender would? What bartender do you think you are most like and is the most sterotypical? Moe from the simpsons? That would be my guess. How many questions are we allowed because I was thinking of going on with many questions than started asking really stupid ones like what is the answer to life, the universe, and everything, but that is obviously 42. Why 42? To find the answer's meaning, you must know the question. So what is the question to the answer to the life, the universe, and everything? Or is that question invalid? If it is, answer it anyway, you are a bartender, you gots a bunch of what nots ans powers, right?

1. That's the idea.
2. I guess the bartender that is the most sarcastic.
3. Probably
4. As many as you like
5. The prophet Douglas Adams foretold it to be so (for those who like his work, try to get your hands on a copy of "The Meaning of Liff", its a little dictionary that assigns the names of towns and cities to meanings that don't already have words. A "liff" is any book thats entire content is belied by it's front cover - anything with "this book will change your life" on it, essentially)
6. What is the meaning of Life, the universe and Everything.
7. No, just circular.
8. Not as much as you seem to think I have, but I get that people would think that the guy supplying them with alcohol must have some greater power.

 

[gentleben]

What's the manliest drink out there

Mike's hard lemonade without the lemon.

I always considered that brand kind of gay.

Whats the manliest beer

Probably one of the Rogue ales, there is only one place I know of (right downstairs from my girlfriend's appartment) that sells them. They're definitely session beers, I love that they come in tallies with swingtops as well.

am i hot?

I'm sure you have a great personality.

Have you ever helped create a Jäger-train and if so how long was it?

Nope we only have glass shotglasses in all the bars in my club, and generally speaking, people are idiots, and we don't want to take the risk that someone will get hurt. Also, the aforementioned liquor licencing laws.

What is your favorite color? Have you ever slept with a man named Robert Hanglesmith? Can I get your autograph? Yes or No? Is the sea blue? Have you ever been arrested for assault, rape, than rape again for the person who raped you that you assaulted than raped the victim of the assaulter you assaulted for assaulted you? How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood could wood chuck norris? Do you feel awkward? Do you have any kids drinks at your pub? Do you call it a bar or a pub? What made you want to become a bartender? Is a bartender the same thing as a tender bar? Do you have any cats? Do you like bananas? And on a scale from one to eleven and a half, how hot is mario?

1. Either white or blue.
2. No
3. After the show
4. No
5. The sea reflects the sky, its colour is based on what's going on with the weather.
6. No
7. 6.
8. No
9. No
10. Bar.
11. I got in to the hospitality industry because they are always looking for people and decided to stick it out.
12. No
13. No, I had a dog but she got old and died.
14. Not really, never been a fan
15. Mario Cantone or Mario Lopez?

 

[sorry user name taken.]

do you come here often?


am i drunk enough yet?


why did you put ice in my whiskey?!

 

[mendokusai]

How would you recommend taking absinthe?

 

[megalomania]

Singapore Sidecar

30ml Dom Benedictine
15ml Cointreau
15ml Luxardo (Maraschine cherry liqueur)
Sweet & Sour mix - depending on taste
Grenadine Maximum 15mls
Soda water.

Build into a tall glass full of ice in that order, cherry as a garnish.

Sounds an awful lot like a Singapore Sling to me...of course I know of at least three variations of the recipe, one of them was lemonade instead of soda which I thought was a sin!

You can get a cool effect if you shake the first 4 ingredients on your list, top with soda, then drop the Grenadine down on side of the glass, it settles into a nice pink/red swirl in the bottom!

 

[Mister Ash]

Do bartenders also get drunk?

I can answer that one...

Yes, yes we do.

well, most of us... I know a few barstaff who don't drink. but mostly they didn't drink till they met me, then I broke them.

 

[gentleben]

do you come here often?


am i drunk enough yet?


why did you put ice in my whiskey?!

1.I have recently, must be because I just really don't want to study for my biochemisty final tomorrow and have already resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to pass.
2.Probably not.
3. Because everything I put over the bar gets ice in it unless you specifically say otherwise. I am not psychic.

Have you ever spiked someones drink? Like a hot girl say given her a little extra vodka to help out a mate or if someone is a prick to you maybe add a bit of eye drops in there. Causes explosive and painful diarrhoea rather fast. Even watering down their booze or giving them a cheaper brand.

No. No one gets extra anything ever. I must get about 10 people a night who insist on saying "go on, give us a bit more mate", or "make them big shots man", or if I mispour something they'll say "oh and throw those ones in for free too". The answer is always "no", and more often than not "no, you're a fuckhead". Do you go in to supermarkets and haggle over the price of bread? Then what is it that makes you think I give a fuck about you, or giving you more alcohol than you've paid for?

I will, on the other hand, give people half nips when they are obviously getting a bit too far gone, but I will only charge them for a half nip, and they are either stupid enough to believe I'm giving them drinks for half price or they are that drunk that they don't even notice.

Do bartenders also get drunk?

Yes, quite often.

How would you recommend taking absinthe?

It depends on the absinthe you are drinking. I've heard a lot of different schools of thought regarding the drinking of absinthe. Some people believe it shouldn't be drunk on its own at all, absinthe was originally made as a kind of bitters, and they believe that drinking it straight is like knocking back a bottle of angostura bitters.

I drink it by popping a sugar cube on an absinthe spoon, in the French style, and dropping cold water on to the ice cube until it is completely dissolved. You get a cool visual as the individual drops hit the absinthe and leave a little milky trail. You can, of course, just use a dash of sugar syrup to get a similar effect.

As far as I'm aware "The Bohemian method" of drinking absinthe is a modern invention, and the flaming sugar approach was only invented as a marketing tool after the popularity of flaming sambucca shots. I don't do it, but it does seem to have become de rigeur when people drink high content absinthes. If you are new to absinthe, I would probably recommend doing this method first. The burning oxidises the alcohol in the absinthe, and should make it slighly more palateable for your first time.

Drinking neat absinthe was never normal, until recently, and the website oxygenee.com, which is an awesome source for learning about absinthe mentions that in all literature drinking straight absinthe was considered to just be a sign of alcoholism.

 

[supaorange]

I'm to young for alcohol, what is your recommended ratio of coffee/water/sugar/milk?

 

[neuromasser]

Do you know the receipt for "To Be Or Not To Be" ? I know that it has Cola, Blueberry and Black Pushkin(I think that's the name)

 

[megalomania]

What's the manliest drink out there

Mike's hard lemonade without the lemon.

I always considered that brand kind of gay.

Whats the manliest beer

I had a pint called Skullsplitter once. It was 9.2%. Pretty damn manly if you ask me!

 

[gentleben]

Singapore Sidecar

30ml Dom Benedictine
15ml Cointreau
15ml Luxardo (Maraschine cherry liqueur)
Sweet & Sour mix - depending on taste
Grenadine Maximum 15mls
Soda water.

Build into a tall glass full of ice in that order, cherry as a garnish.

Sounds an awful lot like a Singapore Sling to me...of course I know of at least three variations of the recipe, one of them was lemonade instead of soda which I thought was a sin!

You can get a cool effect if you shake the first 4 ingredients on your list, top with soda, then drop the Grenadine down on side of the glass, it settles into a nice pink/red swirl in the bottom!

Hence the name of the cocktail.

Singapore slings are gin based and have pineapple juice though.

I originally did my singapore sidecars as a mix between a sidecar and a singapore sling;

30ml Cognac (Sidecar)
15ml Cointreau (Both)
15ml Cherry liqueur (Singapore Sling)
Sweet and Sour Mix (Both)
Grenadine (Singapore Sling)
Soda Water (Singapore Sling)

And since then I've made replacements here and there to change it up. I guess in the form I posted it is quite similar to a sidecar. However, there is never any guarantee that I would actually serve either of the forms I've posted, I generally mix it up, unless someone asked for "the same as last time".

I think tequila and vodka sunrises ruined grenadine layering for everybody.

 

[GrinningManiac]

Consider N identical "charges" placed along a straight line. A pair of charges at positions xi and xj repel each other via potential -ln|xi-xj|. Each charge is attracted to the origin of coordinates by a parabolic potential xi2/2. Show that the equilibrium positions of the charges are given by the zeroes of the Hermite polynomial HN.


/thread

 

[gentleben]

Consider N identical "charges" placed along a straight line. A pair of charges at positions xi and xj repel each other via potential -ln|xi-xj|. Each charge is attracted to the origin of coordinates by a parabolic potential xi2/2. Show that the equilibrium positions of the charges are given by the zeroes of the Hermite polynomial HN.

No.

 

[Spleeni]

I'm to young for alcohol, what is your recommended ratio of coffee/water/sugar/milk?

I usually shoot for a 5/5/5/85%. Depends if you're drinking for pleasure, or to actually stay awake.

 

[Mister Ash]

I had a pint called Skullsplitter once. It was 9.2%. Pretty damn manly if you ask me!

Skullsplitter, from Orkney brewery used to be the strongest beer (traditional english beer, I'll add), till some of the nice folks at Abbydale, in Sheffield, brewed "The Last Rites' which clocks in at 11%

although, while on the subject of beer, we once had an idea (us being Me, my boss, and the brewer at Titanic brewery (who brews our house beers)) of adding 2 litres of Port, to an 18 gallon cask of Titanic Wreckage. we arn't sure on the exact math, but it started at 7.2%, bumped up to around 9% after adding the port, and the secondary fermentation pushed it up to... 12-13% (Brewers yeast dies at around 14%, so no stronger than that)

that made a mess out of alot of people.

 

[hashinta]

I had a pint called Skullsplitter once. It was 9.2%. Pretty damn manly if you ask me!

Skullsplitter, from Orkney brewery used to be the strongest beer (traditional english beer, I'll add), till some of the nice folks at Abbydale, in Sheffield, brewed "The Last Rites' which clocks in at 11%

although, while on the subject of beer, we once had an idea (us being Me, my boss, and the brewer at Titanic brewery (who brews our house beers)) of adding 2 litres of Port, to an 18 gallon cask of Titanic Wreckage. we arn't sure on the exact math, but it started at 7.2%, bumped up to around 9% after adding the port, and the secondary fermentation pushed it up to... 12-13% (Brewers yeast dies at around 14%, so no stronger than that)

that made a mess out of alot of people.

How did that end up tasting? sounds like it could have been a good brew