Assailant suffers injuries from 'fall'

[darksakul]

Assailant suffers injuries from 'fall'
Special to The Police News

May 20, 2011

AUGUSTA, GA - Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Ga. told police he observed a customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket. When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.

Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the Toys for Tots program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of them, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe.

After police and an ambulance arrived at the scene, Cpl. Duggan was taken for treatment.

"The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw ..... injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off the curb after stabbing the Marine," according to a police report.

Source
http://thepolicenews.net/default.aspx?newsletterid=27363&category=News+1-2&act=Newsletter.aspx&AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

 

[Evelynia]

Hang on. He broke his ankle, leg and both arms falling off a curb?! Aren't those, y'know, about six inches high at most?

I suspect I may be missing something here.

 

[Tiger Sora]

They sure the Marines didn't kick his sorry ass. Or did he just "fall". : D

 

[darksakul]

Hang on. He broke his ankle, leg and both arms falling off a curb?! Aren't those, y'know, about six inches high at most?

I suspect I may be missing something here.

They sure the Marines didn't kick his sorry ass. Or did he just "fall". : D

Not enough calcium in his diet. Criminals do not drink enough Milk. LOL.

 

[-Samurai-]

They sure the Marines didn't kick his sorry ass. Or did he just "fall". : D

From what I hear, the man was 2.5 inches tall. Curbs are a long fall for someone that small, and it kinda makes carrying a laptop under his coat impressive. Not to mention a knife...

 

[kouriichi]

Its obvious the time space continuum distorted, gravity failed and he fell UP! Then, when spacetime corrected itself, the fell back to the ground, landing on the curb, breaking his leg and falling face first onto the ground.

So simple when you think about it.

 

[XandNobody]

I can see it now.

Guy: "You, you kicked his ass..."
Marine: "He fell off the curb."
Guy: "But..."
Marine: "He fell, off the curb."
Guy: "He fell off the curb."

I laughed for like ten minutes at this. The moral of today's story is, don't stab a Marine.

 

[Riddle78]

Quite possible. Remember,injury from a fall is determined by kinetic force. Which is determined by a function of MASS and VELOCITY (Or maybe acceleration...It's been three years since I had to do physics equations). Plus,the rigid nature of whatever the idiot hit (asphalt if he's lucky,sewer grate or parked/passing vehicle is not),plus the laptop wouldn't have broke the fall any.

Hell,the man's lucky his elbows didn't get pushed out of the arm.

 

[SonicKaos]

Pretty sure they're saying that they're turning the other way when it comes to the marines beating the crap out of him after he stabbed one of their friends. I approve of this. The guy stole and stabbed someone. He deserves a good ass whoopin.

 

[JaceArveduin]

Some idiot has the bright idea to stab a Marine when he has 3 buddies? I'm surprised he got away with what he did, I know my step-dad is an ex-Marine and he would have just shot him, and got away for self defense.

 

[Cain_Zeros]

I can see it now.

Guy: "You, you kicked his ass..."
Marine: "He fell off the curb."
Guy: "But..."
Marine: "He fell, of the curb."
Guy: "He fell off the curb."

I laughed for like ten minutes at this. The moral of today's story is, don't stab a Marine.

Especially not around other Marines. That whole "band of brothers" thing that happens in pretty much any branch of any military.

 

[darksakul]

I can see a pot belly cop saying, "nothing to see here, carry on".
"Just a shop liffer tripping on a street curb".

And the following conversation:
"Hey Cpl Duggan hows your shoulder?
"Oh you mean this bee sting, it is nothing".

 

[Shadow flame master]

Those Marines totally kicked his ass. It doesn't matter who saw it, or their opinions that the Marines would not do somrthing like this. the point is; if you stab someone who is trained to kill people in many ways, don't think you'll get away unscaved, much less your life.

 

[darksakul]

Image of the actual news paper

 

[KeyMaster45]

Hang on. He broke his ankle, leg and both arms falling off a curb?! Aren't those, y'know, about six inches high at most?

I suspect I may be missing something here.

I suspect the marines kicked his ass into next week.

 

[DJDarque]

Little did he know that the curb was an ex-marine and didn't like seeing his folk being stabbed.

 

[FreakSheet]

Quite possible. Remember,injury from a fall is determined by kinetic force. Which is determined by a function of MASS and VELOCITY (Or maybe acceleration...It's been three years since I had to do physics equations). Plus,the rigid nature of whatever the idiot hit (asphalt if he's lucky,sewer grate or parked/passing vehicle is not),plus the laptop wouldn't have broke the fall any.

Hell,the man's lucky his elbows didn't get pushed out of the arm.

Yup, its acceleration. So lets hope he was accelerating by alot.

OP: and AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH

... okay, i think im good now... no wait...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAA

And yes, the marine's probably beat his ass, but after stealing a laptop and stabbing a buddy, can't say i wouldn't do the same.