Assailant suffers injuries from 'fall'

[Atheist.]

This story was actually proven mostly false on Snopes. Sorry to burst everyone's bubble.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/stabbedmarine.asp

Almost all the information in this story is accurate, EXCEPT for the criminal was never injured. He did get arrested on armed robbery charges, though.

 

[Ultrajoe]

Assailant suffers injuries from 'fall'
Special to The Police News

Good sir, you are wearing my hat!

Also, nice story. I was amused. Still, I am ethically divided over how right it is to blame vigilante asskicking on gravity.

 

[SteewpidZombie]

Witness Report: That guy was just running waaaaay too fast, he didn't notice a oil slick on the curb and he slipped and landed on a air matress that suddenly exploded, thus launching him 100ft into the air and dropping the assailant straight onto the pavement. Makes perfect sense, CASE CLOSED!

 

[TheKruzdawg]

I can see it now.

Guy: "You, you kicked his ass..."
Marine: "He fell off the curb."
Guy: "But..."
Marine: "He fell, off the curb."
Guy: "He fell off the curb."

I laughed for like ten minutes at this. The moral of today's story is, don't stab a Marine.

Completely unrelated, but your avatar's dancing was perfectly synced to the music I was listened to, so that his arm pumps were lined up with the beat. It made me smile

 

[emeraldrafael]

Am I bad person for laughing at this? cause I think its just hilarious that "kharma" could act so swiftly against this guy.

honestly though... getting away from all the wink wink nudge nudge business, is anyone really upset that this guy got what deserved for not only stealing, but then stabbing a marine doing charity duty for the less fortunate children who just wnat a good christmas?

Besides, after growing up in a military family, he should really know better. I mean, you not only stabbed a marine, and not even severely, but you chose to do so in front of three other marines, who you did not stab? What in all of holy hell made you think you were going to get away with this?

EDIT: even if its embellished, it still makes me laugh and smile. I'll choose to live in blissful ignorance on this one.

 

[RvLeshrac]

This story was actually proven mostly false on Snopes. Sorry to burst everyone's bubble.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/stabbedmarine.asp

Almost all the information in this story is accurate, EXCEPT for the criminal was never injured. He did get arrested on armed robbery charges, though.

Indeed. I don't know why people are so gullible.

I remember the story. Nice that they caught him, shame he wasn't injured.

 

[Supertegwyn]

Too bad it's fake. Although he still got his arse smashed.

 

[darksakul]

Assailant suffers injuries from 'fall'
Special to The Police News

Good sir, you are wearing my hat!

Also, nice story. I was amused. Still, I am ethically divided over how right it is to blame vigilante asskicking on gravity.

I see you are a man of good taste.

This story was actually proven mostly false on Snopes. Sorry to burst everyone's bubble.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/stabbedmarine.asp

Almost all the information in this story is accurate, EXCEPT for the criminal was never injured. He did get arrested on armed robbery charges, though.

Indeed. I don't know why people are so gullible.

I remember the story. Nice that they caught him, shame he wasn't injured.

Too bad it's fake. Although he still got his arse smashed.

If you take any story on the internet as anything but a work of fiction...
Come on its the internet, its a funny story take it with a grain of salt

 

[MisterDyslexo]

Thats what happens when you fuck with a curb. It served in the Marine Corps, don't you know?

I'm surprised he didn't die. I've been beaten to the point my life was at risk. So what did I do? Beat them until the couldn't get up to hit me back, and I could make my getaway. Them being a much more efficient killing machine than my 110-pound self, and there being three of them, well, I think its a miracle he didn't die. Maybe they saw that Nic Cage movie Con-Air?

 

[Fidelias]

Well, I think we all know that what he "fell" into was more like a fist sandwhich than a sidewalk curb.

But really, this guy got what he deserved. I mean, first of all he stabbed someone in the back. Literally. And I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to just harm someone, usually people stab to kill. That's low, especially considering he did so for a computer.

Besides that, he stabbed a marine, which, despite also being disgraceful, is completely fucking stupid.

Kharma's a *****.

Edit: Just noticed the "It's a fake!" posts.
... Damn.

Gotta say one thing though, thoser marines were disciplined. I would've tried to kill the bastard, and I don't even have combat training.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

I wish more criminals would fall around United States Marines, or hell any Marines from any countries.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

"The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw ..... injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off the curb after stabbing the Marine," according to a police report.

Source
http://thepolicenews.net/default.aspx?newsletterid=27363&category=News+1-2&act=Newsletter.aspx&AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

I assume when you fall, it is possible he twisted his ankle, maybe broke the same leg. I can... kinda believe that depending on how he fell. Now both arms... When you fall off a curb, the only way I can see you building up THAT much of an injury would be to take a FUCKING HARD fall either straight on your chest (would explain the ribs, nose and jaw), which would then make the leg implausible, or to fall on our of your sides, which can also explain the jaw, nose, and maybe the ribs, but falling on one arm would not break them both.

I can see scrapes, but not lacerations, unless he somehow fell a few times across his own knife (snort... yeah right) and contusions....

Yeah... It doesn't add up... Though I think I saw something VERY similar to this on snopes once... The story was true, but embellished or something... I dunno...

 

[Jadak]

I laughed for like ten minutes at this. The moral of today's story is, don't stab a Marine.

And definitely not one in a group of four at that...

 

[Quaidis]

I remember seeing this months ago. I laughed so hard back then. It's still funny.

 

[Pandaman1911]

Gee, for some reason, I can't say I feel too sorry for the guy. Pull some steel on a Marine, well, you know what you're getting.

 

[lacktheknack]

An old one, but it's still a real gooder.

Makes me laugh every time. You can just see the horrified smirk on the reporters face as he types it.

 

[Jaime_Wolf]

You people have an incredibly fucked-up sense of justice. Should they have just gone ahead and lynched him too?

There's a reason we don't allow vigilantism. There's a reason the Posse Comitatus Act exists. There's a reason we limit what constitutes self defence.

These people should be going to prison with him.

 

[Tselis]

Well that's what he gets for stealing near Marines with a curb.

 

[Darius Brogan]

This story was actually proven mostly false on Snopes. Sorry to burst everyone's bubble.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/stabbedmarine.asp

Almost all the information in this story is accurate, EXCEPT for the criminal was never injured. He did get arrested on armed robbery charges, though.

Party pooper.

I has having an awesome laugh and then felt compelled to follow your link... way to ruin my fun...

Seriously though, it's good to know the Marines had the wherewithal to not beat the living snot out of the idiot. That shows control.

 

[Agayek]

I can see it now.

Guy: "You, you kicked his ass..."
Marine: "He fell off the curb."
Guy: "But..."
Marine: "He fell, off the curb."
Guy: "He fell off the curb."

I laughed for like ten minutes at this. The moral of today's story is, don't stab a Marine.

Oh no, stabbing a Marine is just fine, you'll usually get away clean, assuming you didn't fail at stabbing.

What you need to not do is stab a Marine when surrounded by 3 of his buddies.

Also, I totally support that police report. There's no way in hell it's in any way falsified. Anyone that questions otherwise needs to move to Canada.