Awesome one liners

[The Jono]

"Life's a journey. Shame about the destination,"

"Revenge is a dish best served with a little mayonnaise and those little cheesy things on sticks,"

"No, mother! Don't go in there! It's full of pelicans!"

Don't make me choose one!

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

Hypothetical Real Life One-Liner:

Jackass: What are you, gay?
Me: No, I'm bi.

Fictional One-Liner:

Questioner: Are you gay?
Person: No, I'm German. (cookie for the first person to figure out what it's from. Hint: it's an Internet series, and is not Red vs Blue)

Real Life:

Nancy Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison that drink!
Winston Churchill: Ma'am, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

or

Person: I would vote for Satan before I'd vote for you!
John Wilkes: Indeed. And if your friend declines to run, I trust I can count on your vote?