Awkward thing happened in China

[bartholen_v1legacy]

Do you guys sense the faint odor of troll in the air? I mean, nobody can be this stupid, can they? Right?

...right?

OT: First off, you should respond to a thread that's been going on for a couple of days now, especially on such a touchy subject, to prove you're not a troll. Then you might want to explain to us why you said it was a shame in the first place. Then you might want to think about what you said and apologize.

 

[Olas]

You know if someone had come to the United States and said that they liked it here except for being capitalist I would have laughed it off. Sometimes I think people are a bit too sensitive, especially when it comes to these vague political ideas.

You are a capitalist though, right? You believe having society based on a market and monetary profit incentive is the best way to have things.

Within certain government regulations and alongside some public services provided by taxpayer dollars. However, that's beside my point. I'm not going to throw a fit just because someone doesn't share my political beliefs, any more than I'd get upset over someone not sharing my religious beliefs.

Perhaps it's just how I read it, but it sounds to me like OP was being semi-humorous anyway, or at least not dead serious. It's like if a friend says 'you're a great guy, it's a shame you're not jewish' or something like that. It's not really an attack on your faith, he's just poking fun at you, and if you choose to get offended then it's your problem.

 

[Iwata]

That was really not a smart thing to say. That is a relic of Cold War thinking right there. Communism isn't a monsters out to eat your children, it's another form of government that actually works under the right conditions. Saying something like that is as bad as her saying that it's too bad you have the same electoral process as Hitler did.

Worse, in fact, as Communism isn't just a political issue in China, but a cultural one.

 

[Frission]

Wow.

I'm going to join the chorus of people saying you lacked tact. Especially since this was someone whom you met on the internet. Political comments like that would be risque among friends, never mind acquaintances. It may or may not be offensive, I don't know. Alot of people here have made a case for why it may be offensive, but the fact that you made a comment like that out of nowhere is horrid. The biggest problem was the generalization and the complete lack of tact involved.

Apologize and try to explain what you meant by that. You probably didn't mean any harm.

Perhaps it's just how I read it, but it sounds to me like OP was being semi-humorous anyway, or at least not dead serious. It's like if a friend says 'you're a great guy, it's a shame you're not jewish' or something like that. It's not really an attack on your faith, he's just poking fun at you, and if you choose to get offended then it's your problem.

I sure hope so. We don't particularly know what happened. From the way he described this, I think he was completely straight face when he said that. If it was a joke, it would have fallen flat. I'm picturing the scenario right now and it's embarrassing.

Humor is also subjective. It's other peoples choice whether they're offended or not, but if they do get offended, then you either apologize or you don't spend time with them any more. Oversensitive or not, people avoid people who make them uncomfortable. It's part of social etiquette.

 

[Akytalusia]

that was a mistake. but if you played it off as a joke, continue to do so and never mention it again. if you apologize or bring it up again under any context, it'll only confirm your seriousness and foolishness.

 

[Nickolai77]

I went to Xian this christmas and a chinese girl that I met on the internet showed me around for the days I was there.
Everything went ok and I did enjoy my time. However, in the last day there she asked me what do I think of the city, and my response was "I like the city. There's lots of beautiful temples, the food is good, and the people are nice. It's just too bad you are all communists".

That last sentence is where I fucked up. She then got a straight face and asked me "What's wrong with being a communist?" And I didn't know what to say. I was quiet for a few seconds and then I said that I'm joking and changed the subject.

Everything seemd to be fine after that, but I can't help but feel that I offended her. Do you think I was maybe too insensitive about it in a way?
I'm still in contact with her and I don't know if I should apologise or let it be.

I have considerable experience socialising with Chinese students I don't entirely agree with the consensus of the thread. You expressed yourself a little bit bluntly, but I would hardly consider if a major social faux-pas.

I highly doubt your friend OP was offended- I think though she was interested to hear your opinion about why you felt communism was a bad thing. Most Chinese people would be highly interested in hear a Westerner's opinion on their society, just like how I'm sure you would be interested to hear what a Chinese person made of yours. So long as you fairly express your opinion and listen to her response with respect and humility you're fine. I had quite an intimate friendship with a Chinese student are differing political views were not a problem for us. Respect for their views is key though.

Edit: If you don't mind me asking, how did you meet online? Chinese people and Westerners tend not to use the same social networks online.

 

[hermes]

Besides the fact it was a little tasteless (and ill advised) to talk to people you barely know about politics, there is also the fact that "communist" is not an insult to most people in the world. Despite the propaganda, they are not subinteligent, evil or boogeymen trying to destroy your life and eat your children.

Even when it is a loaded word for Americans because, not so long ago, people were sent to jail based on suspicion alone, in many countries of the world being a communist or not is like preferring oranges over apples. In a way, its similar to "gay", a loaded word within a certain context, but removed of that context is just a word that describes a personal preference/characteristic.

 

[chattycathy]

Alex, if you bring it up now after you're done and dusted with the topic, she will feel even more insulted as it will show to her that it is something you actually meant, rather than a joke. Let it go and just, try not to do it again with other people, well, new friends. When you're really good friends with someone, then you can pass off jokes like that. Let it go and breathe.