Bad puns

[TheEvilDuck]

Share your favorite pun either from a real situation or not.

I have a habit of saying "I can dig it" waaaay too often, and in the natural history museum where this exchange occurred:

Me: I hate geology
Boyfriend (science nerd): Why? It's really fascinating.
Me: No, it's rocks. Rocks are not fascinating.
Boyfriend: Sure out of context but think about it, through studying the rocks that exist today we can see what's happened in the past all the way back to the creation of earth.
Me: (realizing what I said too late and watching the pun happen like a car crash) I guess I can dig it.
Boyfriend: (cracks up for the next hour)

As I said my boyfriend's father loves puns:

boyfriend's dad: (in the garden planting) Oh no it says to plant these in the sun.
Boyfriend: have you been planting them in the shade?
Boyfriend's dad: No I've been planting them in the ground.
boyfriend: *FACEPALM*

 

[StarStruckStrumpets]

WOW DOUBLE PUN

Not so much a pun this one, but...

Me: Hey, y'know that girl who was on about that guy the other day?
Friend: Yeah? Why?
Me: Apparently she said he does drugs...
Friend: Really? That's what she said.
Me: -_- Of course she did, she's the one who's mouth it came out of!

 

[Pandalisk]

I did this by accident and i kicked myself for it

my little brother was throwing bags at me and my sister because he thought he was funny

then i said "stop being bag" it was an accidental pun!.. i said bad! they mis-heard me the basterds!

ha your boyfriends dad is quite possible the coolest dad ever

 

[Kiefer13]

Me: I hate geology

What?! Geology Rocks!

*runs*

 

[Seldon2639]

Playing the first level of The Force Unleashed, and tossing enemies around like ragdolls, I said to my friend "that's the way the wookie crumbles."

 

[Inarticulate_Underachiever]

Me: I hate geology

What?! Geology Rocks!

*runs*

But politics rules!

 

[Reynoldsm]

In college the other day, a friend showed me a video on youtube of someone trying to pop out their eye.

Him: "Watch this video it's pretty funny."
Me: "(Eye/I) see"

Funny at the time hehe.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

I suck at puns...
*is sad that he cannot contribute*

But would Bill Engvall's "Here's you sign" jokes count as puns?

 

[Argentavis]

Me, at a Burger King.
"Will my hamburger be long?"
The answer:
"No, round like all the others"

 

[Shapsters]

Playing the first level of The Force Unleashed, and tossing enemies around like ragdolls, I said to my friend "that's the way the wookie crumbles."

Oh god no!

 

[Biek]

Wow, those puns sound unbearable!



.....

*crickets*

 

[zeroharpuia]

If you want bad puns, watch an episode of how it's made on Discovery.
Make sure you keep track of the amount of puns they make.

 

[Argentavis]

Wow, those puns sound unbearable!



.....

*crickets*

I bearly understood what you said.

 

[cyber_andyy]

The bible is a very prophetable book...

 

[AlphaOmega]

If you want bad puns, watch an episode of how it's made on Discovery.
Make sure you keep track of the amount of puns they make.

Its so bad... so damn bad

 

[Weaver]

oh man, I actively try to make bad puns all the time... I don't even know where to start

Here's one:
me and my friend were standing around waiting for class to start; she was eating carrots.

Another one of our friend comes up to her and asks her something, when she went to talk she accidentally spit out carrots into his eyes and he said "ahhh my eyes!" and I, naturally proclaimed "But, they're good for your eyes!"

 

[JokerGrin]

I have to say, most of these puns in this thread made me laugh. I was expecting to come upon some truly eggscrutiating egg puns or something.

 

[Hamster at Dawn]

Nothing comes to mind. I'll let you know if I hapun to come across anything.
Get it? I used the word 'pun' as a pun! Clever right?

 

[Lios]

This thread contains a lot of "HAWWW HAWWW HAWWW YOU SO PUNNY!"

 

[rainman2203]

My roomate's girlfriend: "Why don't you just fix yours? Look, Nathan's is all nice and firm and yours is a pain to use in the morning."
My roomate: "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"
At this point both of us fall to the ground laughing. Numerous high-fives were exchanged.

She was talking about the doorknobs to our rooms.
This might not be a pun, but I found it amusing.