BattleTanx - Absolutely Tanktastic

StewShearerOld

Geekdad News Writer
Jan 5, 2013
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BattleTanx - Absolutely Tanktastic

BattleTanx transports players to the far future of 2001 where rival gangs fight over a world ruined by plague and nuclear war. Their weapon of choice? Tanks, tanks and more tanks!

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JenSeven

Crazy person! Avoid!
Oct 19, 2010
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Judas Priest is silly?
I've heard them be called lots of thing but silly is a new one...

If you said Alestorm is silly, that I can understand,
or Twisted Sister

But Judas Priest?
 

StewShearerOld

Geekdad News Writer
Jan 5, 2013
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JenSeven said:
Judas Priest is silly?
I've heard them be called lots of thing but silly is a new one...

If you said Alestorm is silly, that I can understand,
or Twisted Sister

But Judas Priest?
You do realize your just tried use a song about a savior cyborg that "rides the metal monster" and another one about spy satellite as evidence that Judas Priest isn't silly, yes? ;)

Let me clarify that I unabashedly love Judas Priest and that they are one of my favorite bands. That said, a lot of their songs are definitely silly, especially in the lyrical department. That doesn't mean for a moment that their music isn't completely awesome. In fact, the goofier sensibilities of their music is what I love about them most. They wrote a 13 minute epic about the Loch Ness monster, for god sakes! THAT'S SO COOL!!!!

Also, here's Rob Halford singing while be held by a robot mid-concert:

 

uncanny474

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Jan 20, 2011
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Man, if you liked BattleTanx, you'll LOVE Global Assault. It really is a fantastic reimagining of a gameplay concept as simple as Combat on the Atari. Really looking forward to next week's Good Old Review, and I don't say that often.
 

JenSeven

Crazy person! Avoid!
Oct 19, 2010
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StewShearer said:
You do realize your just tried use a song about a savior cyborg that "rides the metal monster" and another one about spy satellite as evidence that Judas Priest isn't silly, yes? ;)

Let me clarify that I unabashedly love Judas Priest and that they are one of my favorite bands. That said, a lot of their songs are definitely silly, especially in the lyrical department. That doesn't mean for a moment that their music isn't completely awesome. In fact, the goofier sensibilities of their music is what I love about them most. They wrote a 13 minute epic about the Loch Ness monster, for god sakes! THAT'S SO COOL!!!!
That is indeed very true, got me there.
But in metal, there are plenty of "silly" lyrics. Heck, most music doesn't make much sense when examined closely.

However since I am someone that grew up in the 80s and 90s, Judas Priest is one of the less silly bands growing up.
Compared to

Green Jellÿ
Primus
Ugly Kid Joe
Annihilator
 

WhiteFangofWhoa

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Jan 11, 2008
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Yes... YESSS!

I honestly thought that the first Battletanx game would rub a newcomer the wrong way due to the problems you mentioned- only three types of tanks (and Mototanks suck), limited objectives, enemy gangs don't use different tactics or weapons as you progress (despite each having different setups and special weapons in multiplayer), nonexistent allied AI except the Goliath used to protect your base (and even then you're strongly advised to assume direct control when your base is under attack). When I compare it to my classic favourite Global Assault the original just seems lacking in every possible category, so I'm very glad you're also trying the sequel out as well. Dunno if this breaks the rules, but if possible you should at least try the multiplayer.

And you mentioned Beast Wars too. Suddenly I am 12 again :).
 

StewShearerOld

Geekdad News Writer
Jan 5, 2013
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N64? Even if I had one, I have no (direct) way to hook it up to my monitor, nor can I use my wireless X360 controller.

That was really evil of you, leaving the 'if you have a N64' bit at the end, only after I went to gog and came back empty-handed.
 

StewShearerOld

Geekdad News Writer
Jan 5, 2013
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Sgt. Sykes said:
N64? Even if I had one, I have no (direct) way to hook it up to my monitor, nor can I use my wireless X360 controller.

That was really evil of you, leaving the 'if you have a N64' bit at the end, only after I went to gog and came back empty-handed.
Sorry for the confusion. If you check out the art for this week's review however, it says "Good Old Console Reviews" instead of the standard "Good Old Reviews." Whenever you see that, it means it's not on GOG! :)
 

BoompigXD The Ork

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Aug 2, 2014
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I thinks it obvious what you need to do now: Play this game while listening to Judas Priest

As for the game, I'm not too interested in it, doesn't really sound like something I'd take too much enjoyment in, and if I want destruction, I can just buy Red Faction or Red Faction II for 10 bucks on Steam. This is a nice review though.
 

Dimitriov

The end is nigh.
May 24, 2010
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The game definitely shined the most when played in good old split-screen multi-player!

I have fond memories of playing this game with my friends.
 

Saulkar

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Sep 18, 2020
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I still own this SOB for the N64! Speaking of which. I need to get myself a new one as mine is dieing. It was dropped repeatedly by the original owner and the main board is cracked but still functioned flawlessly for 8 years (December 26th 2001 to 2010th) Man, what I would give for an unopened box of N64 goodness! Goldeneye, Turok 2, Battletanx/Global Assault, Mario Party, and Super Mario 64 would consume my mortal soul!
 

tangoprime

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May 5, 2011
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I loved this game SO MUCH way back when. The multiplayer was phenomenal, and the story, as far as some 80's post-apocalypse fiction goes, was pretty good. Some of the simple fight from point a to b battles were pretty great too, one I recall loving in particular was crossing the country "Armageddon Highway" iirc, just you and a ton of friendly M1s battling it out in a running battle against another large tank force. The "Crimson Gate" bridge crossing was pretty fantastic too. Reminds me a lot of something John Carpenter would've come up with.

Also, the music, good lord- just like with TIE Fighter, this is one of those games where I still randomly start humming one of the themes and have to think for a second about it to remember from where it came.
God I wish a cover of this existed:
Another one I randomly have in my head:
 

RicoADF

Welcome back Commander
Jun 2, 2009
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I remember playing the sequal on PS1 and had a blast, now I think I'll grab a copy from ebay, thanks for the reminder! :)
 

RA92

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Jan 1, 2011
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Could you include the GIFs like you usually did? They were always a nice addition.
 

StewShearerOld

Geekdad News Writer
Jan 5, 2013
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RA92 said:
Could you include the GIFs like you usually did? They were always a nice addition.
I absolutely intend to whenever possible. With my Sacrifice review I unfortunately just had problems getting good footage for GIFs. And with BattleTanx (and all console games sadly) I actually don't have the equipment needed to capture footage. I hope to invest in some in the future.

Glad to hear you like the GIFs though! :)
 

RA92

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Jan 1, 2011
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StewShearer said:
RA92 said:
Could you include the GIFs like you usually did? They were always a nice addition.
I absolutely intend to whenever possible. With my Sacrifice review I unfortunately just had problems getting good footage for GIFs. And with BattleTanx (and all console games sadly) I actually don't have the equipment needed to capture footage. I hope to invest in some in the future.

Glad to hear you like the GIFs though! :)
Ah, I understand. Your reviews are interesting with or without GIFs.

I'll keep watching out for your reviews.

From a distance.

In the dark.

Without you knowing.

(Mainly because I didn't leave a comment.)
 

Smolderin

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Feb 5, 2012
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Oh wow! I actually remember this game back during the time where I to had rent games from Blockbuster rather than actually buy them. I also remember spending hours on it blowing crap up, I can't really remember anything else besides that since it was a really really long time ago, but I definitely knew that its name was BattleTankx for the N64. Ah man, the memories....