Beard: Virtue or Vice

[MONTGOMERYWOODRUFF69]

Back away from the beard and no one gets hurt.

 

[Phase_9]

Well, since I'm hoping you are the man (otherwise, your husband would have complete justification for not liking the beard, unless you work at a carnival), I would negotiate, fail at negotiating, and then shave, because in the end, she will keep denying you all kinds of things that you like until she gets her way. Save the headache, shave the beard.

 

[rossatdi]

Simple.

You shave, she shaves. Stubble rash works both ways.

 

[xxcloud417xx]

Beards are out! They make you look like an insane person or some sexual predator. If you have a beard chances are you don't even HAVE a life partner cuz the entire world has been turned off by your disgusting facial forest.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

Shave one half.

EDIT: Get a handlebar mustache and say its either the beard or this.

Also, get a top hat and monocle.

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

Negotiate-- if that fails, dump the *****. I believe Oscar Wilde put it best when he wrote: "Bitches come and go, but a beard is a loyal companion-- never judging, never difficult, and always by your side chin."

 

[Drakstern]

Grow a neckbeard just to prove how bad it could really be.

She'll beg you to grow the full beard back.

 

[Alex_P]

Negotiate.

Be sure to introduce an elaborate argument about how your particular beard configuration is optimal for mustache rides. (If it is not, in fact, optimal for mustache rides, you should rethink your grooming.)

-- Alex

 

[Varchld]

Show us your beard!
and make it a poll
Unless you have a real large proper beard, just shave it and joke about you having a funny chin.
If you do have a full blown beard, talk to them about it. Let them know how much you enjoy your beard and if they still want you to shave it let them know you will and spend the next week shaving little bits here and there each day making it into funny shapes and things. Try shaving their initials into it. And finally get rid of it.

How important is your beard to you?
I like mine but it's simple and neat and if someone I was with didn't like it i'd get rid of it.

 

[Lord Fujor]

ahh i remember my silly facial hair days to think i may need a revival. perhaps the lucifer or mutton chops joining the 'tache

you say beard as if we would instantly know exactly what you're on about but there's so many variations of "beard" that we need to know exactly what kind of fluff we're dealing with

 

[ffxfriek]

If she's not open to negotiation...shave.

If she's open to negotiation...SHAVE anyway!!

(but make a big fuss about it, like "I would only do this for you- then she thinks you're giving a concession)

agreed

 

[Horizontalvertigo]

Huge Sideburns. not technically a beard and u can still rock out with 1880's fashion, problem solved

 

[Clashero]

Not a problem if you have a ZZ Top beard. The ladies loooove a ZZ Top beard. Try it.

 

[jim_doki]

the beard is AWESOME!!!!!

just look at Will Riker. if they dont like the beard, they aren't worth it. dump away

 

[kapzer]

A thread hasn't made me lol this much in a while. Nice one folks
I'd say that trim it - negotiate. Keep a stubble, thats what I do.

 

[John Galt]

Shave her name in it, make her feel emotionally attached to the beard. Make sure that the beard is there for all the big moments, good and bad. The beard must accompany you two on all of life's journeys, whether on your face or in a zip lock baggy of clippings. Soon enough, she'll warm up to it, giving you enough time to prepare for the heartbreak of her telling you she's only in it for the beard anymore.

Or just shave it, either way.