Beauty Isn?t Just Pixel-Deep

[Escapefromwhatever]

Otaku,

When you make it known that you are only attracted to a woman because of her race, it makes her feel uncomfortable. It makes her have difficulty seeing you as anything other than a threat. I don't want to presume too much, but you might have difficulty finding an East Asian woman because you're seeing them in that way as opposed to viewing them as individuals-as Mary, Kim, Keiko, etc. Or it could be because they feel as if you're exoticizing them and only being interested in them because you think they're strange and distant- as a transwoman, I get that second one a lot. By doing this, you not only disrespect the women, but you also disrespect their cultures by treating them as strange and only judging them by media tropes. If you're only attracted to East Asian women, fine, but treat them like people, like individuals. Don't sit at the bar and think "Ooh, an East Asian woman! I hope I get lucky." Think "Oh, this woman seems attractive. I'll go ask her what's up." Because, at the end of the day, she's not just an East Asian woman. She's a person with hopes, dreams, habits, pet peeves, etc. and she deserves to be treated as such. Don't treat her like a curio. Treat her like you would any attractive woman, regardless of race.

 

[ExtraDebit]

Sigh....lara is back to her judgmental and unhelpful self again.

To the otaku guy, if you like east asian girls so much why not go to their breeding ground? I can guarantee you that you'll find one and more.

Lara said they can "sniff" you out from a mile away, while I can't comment on that since I really don't know. But if it's true then just go to somewhere with the girls that are not used to your scent.

Believe it or not, there're alot of east asian girls that want a white guy because he's white too. You can try searching for them online. In this day an age no one should be complaining they can't find their significant other because there is always someone for you out there and the net is your bridge to them.

 

[SoulSalmon]

I've noticed the little conversation on the Facebook comments about how it's 'impossible' to be 6ft and only weigh 100lbs...
My best friend is 5'10 and weighs 88lbs, sure it's unhealthy but not life threatening and by no means impossible :/

 

[rsvp42]

I think the issue here is not that he happens to like Asian girls (I mean who doesn't, they're hot), the problem is that he's not good at picking up girls he likes. We shake our heads with disapproval, yet if he was telling us about how successful he's been with them, we'd want him to share some tips.

Ultimately, girls don't like dudes that they find to be creepy. If you're creeping girls out, you're doing it wrong; you're not being attractive. That said, Lara's kind of right here. Part of the reason this guy isn't attracting the Asian chicks he loves so much is that he's going around with this complex, thinking he has some genetic condition that's keeping him from liking other women. He's imagined this rock and a hard place and stuck himself in the middle as if he were a victim of his own cursed desires, oh woe is him. But that's bullshit. He needs to work on attracting women, all women. He needs to work on himself and his confidence and his game in general. He can't keep telling himself that other women don't attract him because that's a bullshit smokescreen for his own failings. I know. I've done that kind of shit. I used to tell myself that I was waiting for just the right girl. If I didn't have the nerve to ask a particular girl out, I'd just convince myself I didn't like her anyway. Or I'd do other crap, like only falling for girls I knew I couldn't have so that I could blame my problems on some situation I couldn't control.

Once he admits that he's only making excuses and resolves to do better, he'll fix his own problem. Maybe he'll even meet some nice brunette from Illinois and realize that yeah, she's pretty fucking gorgeous. Or maybe it will be that Asian girl he's had his eye on. Either way, he's gotta start with himself.

 

[Ophenix]

A guy with an eating disorder is quit rare... Do yourself some good and try to get treated for it and have your girlfriend join you in the process. Support and undestanding are two things you need from her if you want to survive and from the fact she asks you to gain weight she either doesn't know you have a disorder or doesn't understand what it means.
There is a lot of ignorance about eating disorders in the population, if Mr. wants his girlfriend to help him get better rather than pressure him into something that he is terrified of she needs to do some reading on the subject.

Did a seminary paper on eating disorderes during my degree. The most depressing reading material I ever came across. 20% death over a period of 10 years, 80% of remission goes into relaps. And that is without talking about the damage you do to your body in the process...

Now, that isn't to say you are doomed. Women with anorexia live with their disorder, some even become mothers and live health lives to old age. But they do that while being aware of their own condition and having a supportive community around them.


As for the Asia-phille, get a life. No support for you Stop sounding so desperate and creepy and the Asian women around you might actually give you a try.

 

[Avistew]

Sincerely,
Not An Otaku, Really

Dear Otaku,

Anyone else find this subtle dig terribly amusing?

Amusing? No. Disrespectful? Yes. This being said, signing "not an Otaku" when nothing in the message sounded like he was one did encourage teasing. If I say "I like fish. By the way I'm not Belgian" people are going to suspect I AM Belgian.

Anyways. NAO, if you are physically attracted to East Asians (and as an ethnicity, it's not a more offensive word than Caucasian), that's not a problem, everyone has different attractions and it's not weirder than only liking tall people or people with meat on their bones. However I don't think you should mix ethnicity and culture, depending on their background many East-Asian women might not have much to do culturally with the country they're biologically from (whether their family immigrated generations ago or someone was adopted along the line or something), and as Lara said East-Asian covers a whole cultural range.
So, I find it weird that you put liking a type of women on the same rank as liking aspects of a culture such as the food or something. It makes it sound like you have a boner not for the women, but for the media and want a girl that matches the ones found in said media.

I also find you're generalising a lot. Saying "women of that ethnicity are like this" is, well... if you think in those kinds of terms I think you have your explanation of why they're not interested in you. You should really try and see them as individuals and their own person.
And if you're really only attracted to them, you might consider moving to a part of the world where they are more common. Just saying, that would make it easier for you to find someone you're compatible with without having to worry about the ethnicity issue (not hers at least. You'd still need to find someone who's into whatever ethnicity you happen to be).

 

[martin's a madman]

Sincerely,
Not An Otaku, Really

Dear Otaku,

Anyone else find this subtle dig terribly amusing?

I laughed so hard at that, and came to the comments just to post about it, but I read to make sure no one else had.

 

[ZeroKadaver]

I'm not too sure about the eating disorder, unless you are not eating normally and you cannot eat a reasonable amount of food it could be due to other factors not related to eating. The 16th president of the US had a genetic disorder where he maintained similar height to weight ratios. Unless your not eating or actually vomiting or whatever then it is going to be very difficult to see eating disorder simply based off of weight and height which is only unhealthy for NORMAL PEOPLE and you might be like Abe Lincoln and be ABNORMAL PEOPLE.

See Genetic Disorder - Marfan Syndrome

 

[Falseprophet]

I've noticed the little conversation on the Facebook comments about how it's 'impossible' to be 6ft and only weigh 100lbs...
My best friend is 5'10 and weighs 88lbs, sure it's unhealthy but not life threatening and by no means impossible :/

That's because BMI is a 200-year-old formula with a lot of limitations. It's almost useless for serious athletes, for example, because it's based entirely on weight and doesn't distinguish between body fat and lean body mass. I wouldn't be surprised if it breaks down at the low end of the scale too. The main reason it's perpetuated is because unlike more accurate measures of overall health (e.g., body fat percentage), it doesn't need special training or equipment.

 

[SoulSalmon]

I've noticed the little conversation on the Facebook comments about how it's 'impossible' to be 6ft and only weigh 100lbs...
My best friend is 5'10 and weighs 88lbs, sure it's unhealthy but not life threatening and by no means impossible :/

That's because BMI is a 200-year-old formula with a lot of limitations. It's almost useless for serious athletes, for example, because it's based entirely on weight and doesn't distinguish between body fat and lean body mass. I wouldn't be surprised if it breaks down at the low end of the scale too. The main reason it's perpetuated is because unlike more accurate measures of overall health (e.g., body fat percentage), it doesn't need special training or equipment.

Yeah I'll be one of the fastest people to agree that BMI is a spectacularly broken formula

Last time I was checked I had a 16% Body Fat Percent (Probably closer to 20% now :/ I grew a bit of a gut since then) yet I have a BMI of 35 (About 6 ft tall and just under 120kg), WELL in to the obese range, because I have a naturally muscular build.

But regardless, I just wanted to point out the ludicrous argument that a 6ft person can't weigh 100 lbs >.>

 

[Avistew]

For the record, your hip-to-waist ratio, although not perfect either, is usually a more reliable measurement of healthy or unhealthy weight, and can also be measured without special equipment (just need to know how to measure your hip size and your waist size, and own measuring tape or something that can do the same job).

 

[k-ossuburb]

" Sincerely,
Not An Otaku, Really"

And in the next line:

"Dear Otaku,"

I lol'd.

 

[Susan Arendt]

My ex-husband was 6'3" and 110 lbs soaking wet with rocks in his pockets. Yes, folks, it's possible, I assure you.