Been really depressed lately... need some advice.

[Mr Binary]

I've really been feeling depressed lately... I've had depression my whole life, but usually I can fight it off but recently it seems that recently a plethora of negative things have all been hitting me at once. I'm not welcome in my home much, and the abuse there is getting worse.

People seem to be turning against me all of a sudden. I've been getting death threats sent to me constantly and the police claim there is nothing they can do, along with a bunch of others I don't really wish to state here. If you want to help and need me to be more specific or explain those other reasons, I can do so.

I just sort of feel like the world has begun to turn against me. Usually being alone helped, but recently it has just made me feel worse.

I really need some help, because I'm not afraid to admit that suicide has crossed my mind in the past and is doing so right now.

Thank you, fellow Escapists.

EDIT: I think I should describe myself a little... at least my personality. I'm just kind of an average gamer. I don't have much to talk about other than gaming... maybe politics, but those are situational things really. I also have multiple personality disorders... like how I hate crowds, and have a pretty heavy case of OCD. I know that just makes it more my fault that I'm lonely though.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I've really been feeling depressed lately... I've had depression my whole life, but usually I can fight it off but recently it seems that recently a plethora of negative things have all been hitting me at once. I'm not welcome in my home much, and the abuse there is getting worse.

Define abuse. If we're talking traditional definitions of abuse and you are under-age there are systems set up to help you. Actually I'm pretty sure even if you're over age there are systems set up to help you, you might just need to look a little further to find them.

People seem to be turning against me all of a sudden. I've been getting death threats sent to me constantly and the police claim there is nothing they can do, along with a bunch of others I don't really wish to state here. If you want to help and need me to be more specific or explain those other reasons, I can do so.

By all means, do explain. It's extremely unusual for the police to hand wave a death threat.

I just sort of feel like the world has begun to turn against me. Usually being alone helped, but recently it has just made me feel worse.

I really need some help, because I'm not afraid to admit that suicide has crossed my mind in the past and is doing so right now.

I am more than willing to discuss solutions with you. I'm not going to give you a pep talk because I don't think it's what you need and I don't think it would help. From the sounds of things, you are deep in a clinical depression, and all the "buck up little soldiers" in the world aren't going to abruptly reverse your brain chemistry.

There are some very basic things you can do to help with a clinical depression, your challenge will be finding the energy/will to actually do them, which can be challenging when you're depressed, because one of the things depression does is sap your energy and will. Eating well is one of them. Sleeping well is another (but not too much). Exercise is a big one, and fairly critical. Finding an outlet/method of expression, such as writing or art, can be very beneficial. Getting sunlight (or taking a vitamin D supplement) can help. And finally, if things are really tough, talking to a doctor and having them prescribe you an anti-depressant can be necessary to get you over the hump. Do be very engaged in that process though, not all anti-depressants are created equal, and some of the more high impact ones can have distressing side effects.

Now, all of this advice is fine and dandy if you're living on your own and making your own decisions, and I don't know if you are. It's also fine and dandy if you're not actively getting abused and/or having your life threatened, which means you're in a perpetual state of heightened anxiety and stress hormones are wreaking havoc on your mood and your health. Obviously removing yourself from ongoing harm is essential to starting any kind of recovery process. But getting stabilized, and quickly, is important.

I also have multiple personality disorders... like how I hate crowds, and have a pretty heavy case of OCD. I know that just makes it more my fault that I'm lonely though.

You should definitely be talking to mental health professional. There are methods of dealing with OCD, both pharmaceutical and coping skills, that can dramatically reduce the impact it has on your day to day life.

As for the suicide thing...

Obviously the short reply to that is "Don't do it". The long reply is "Don't do it, it would be very stupid". Think of depression as breaking your arm. In the moment that you break your arm, it's extraordinarily painful. This is the free fall into depression. This is the moment people contemplate suicide. "Wow, this is intolerable" they think, and pop off to kill themselves. Once the break is set and put in a cast, you still can't use your arm, but the pain is greatly diminished. Eventually it will be healed.

No one is doomed to suffer forever with depression and sadness, no matter how many issues they have. My girlfriend works in the mental health field, and she has also been a client of the mental health system (profound OCD, anxiety disorder, depression). We've come a long way in terms of recognizing, treating, and supporting people with these sorts of issues. The brain is an imperfect organ and a lot of things can go screwy up there, but none of it means you're broken or doomed to a life of misery, it just means a wire got crossed. An arm got broken. We can fix that shit. At the very least, we can make it more comfortable. You just need to take the first steps and get the help you need.

I've been through a pretty serious clinical depression myself, in my late teens/early 20's. It lasted several years. At the nadir, I seriously considered suicide. I didn't see things ever improving.

And here I am, 17 years later, and I'm feeling pretty low again, honestly. Having a really rough run of luck with my health. Had some people I loved die suddenly. It's been a tough few years.

But that's life. There will always be peaks and valleys, and periods of misery and periods of joy. You're a gamer? This is a shitty part of the game. There's an awesome part, but you have to get through this part to get to it. You quit now, you'll never get that awesome part. And believe me, just as the shitty parts are inevitable, the awesome parts are inevitable too. That's the GOOD reality about life. Even people who have lived through unbelievable hardship and tragedy have found joy and meaning in life, because everything is relative.

So things will definitely get better for you. But you need to address your immediate situation, and talk to a doctor.

I guess that kind of sounded like a pep talk after all, but it's seriously not meant to be. I am not the sunshine and roses guy. I'm the hard, bitter truth guy. The pessimist. The cynic. The good news for you is things are already fucked up, so you don't need the "Life will occasionally fuck you over" speech. You get the "Life doesn't ONLY fuck you over" speech instead.

 

[Mr Binary]

Define abuse. If we're talking traditional definitions of abuse and you are under-age there are systems set up to help you. Actually I'm pretty sure even if you're over age there are systems set up to help you, you might just need to look a little further to find them.

Physical and verbal abuse has been happening. I've tried looking for those solutions, but a lot of them have 'requirements.' Low income, or other stuff like that.

By all means, do explain. It's extremely unusual for the police to hand wave a death threat.

This is probably one of the things that's made me feel the worse. A few months ago, I ended up having a heart attack because of all the stress I've been going through. One guy who didn't like me decided to start spreading a rumour that I had faked the entire thing. Soon after he started getting people to send me said death threats. When I contacted the police they claimed there was nothing much that they could do because said emails had been sent through a proxy which was linked through Germany... so they never really did much about them. He also acts passive all the time, so when I try to call him out people just begin to dislike me more.

I am more than willing to discuss solutions with you. I'm not going to give you a pep talk because I don't think it's what you need and I don't think it would help. From the sounds of things, you are deep in a clinical depression, and all the "buck up little soldiers" in the world aren't going to abruptly reverse your brain chemistry.

There are some very basic things you can do to help with a clinical depression, your challenge will be finding the energy/will to actually do them, which can be challenging when you're depressed, because one of the things depression does is sap your energy and will. Eating well is one of them. Sleeping well is another (but not too much). Exercise is a big one, and fairly critical. Finding an outlet/method of expression, such as writing or art, can be very beneficial. Getting sunlight (or taking a vitamin D supplement) can help. And finally, if things are really tough, talking to a doctor and having them prescribe you an anti-depressant can be necessary to get you over the hump. Do be very engaged in that process though, not all anti-depressants are created equal, and some of the more high impact ones can have distressing side effects.

Now, all of this advice is fine and dandy if you're living on your own and making your own decisions, and I don't know if you are. It's also fine and dandy if you're not actively getting abused and/or having your life threatened, which means you're in a perpetual state of heightened anxiety and stress hormones are wreaking havoc on your mood and your health. Obviously removing yourself from ongoing harm is essential to starting any kind of recovery process. But getting stabilized, and quickly, is important.

Thank you, I will try my best to avoid anymore of those stressful situations. I knew they hadn't been helping, but a lot of these things seemed unavoidable.

You should definitely be talking to mental health professional. There are methods of dealing with OCD, both pharmaceutical and coping skills, that can dramatically reduce the impact it has on your day to day life.

Yeah, I had looked up some coping skills and have been trying them out. The OCD itself doesn't really bother me, it's just that people see that and tend to avoid me for it.

As for the suicide thing...

Obviously the short reply to that is "Don't do it". The long reply is "Don't do it, it would be very stupid". Think of depression as breaking your arm. In the moment that you break your arm, it's extraordinarily painful. This is the free fall into depression. This is the moment people contemplate suicide. "Wow, this is intolerable" they think, and pop off to kill themselves. Once the break is set and put in a cast, you still can't use your arm, but the pain is greatly diminished. Eventually it will be healed.

No one is doomed to suffer forever with depression and sadness, no matter how many issues they have. My girlfriend works in the mental health field, and she has also been a client of the mental health system (profound OCD, anxiety disorder, depression). We've come a long way in terms of recognizing, treating, and supporting people with these sorts of issues. The brain is an imperfect organ and a lot of things can go screwy up there, but none of it means you're broken or doomed to a life of misery, it just means a wire got crossed. An arm got broken. We can fix that shit. At the very least, we can make it more comfortable. You just need to take the first steps and get the help you need.

I've been through a pretty serious clinical depression myself, in my late teens/early 20's. It lasted several years. At the nadir, I seriously considered suicide. I didn't see things ever improving.

And here I am, 17 years later, and I'm feeling pretty low again, honestly. Having a really rough run of luck with my health. Had some people I loved die suddenly. It's been a tough few years.

But that's life. There will always be peaks and valleys, and periods of misery and periods of joy. You're a gamer? This is a shitty part of the game. There's an awesome part, but you have to get through this part to get to it. You quit now, you'll never get that awesome part. And believe me, just as the shitty parts are inevitable, the awesome parts are inevitable too. That's the GOOD reality about life. Even people who have lived through unbelievable hardship and tragedy have found joy and meaning in life, because everything is relative.

So things will definitely get better for you. But you need to address your immediate situation, and talk to a doctor.

I guess that kind of sounded like a pep talk after all, but it's seriously not meant to be. I am not the sunshine and roses guy. I'm the hard, bitter truth guy. The pessimist. The cynic. The good news for you is things are already fucked up, so you don't need the "Life will occasionally fuck you over" speech. You get the "Life doesn't ONLY fuck you over" speech instead.

I'm sorry for your loss... but I get what you mean. I'm glad I got this speech rather than the other one, Thank you.

If you have friends, lean on them for support. Talk to them. It will help you get your feelings off your chest, and more to the point, out of your system. It's very important that you get rid of your negative feelings. If they ball up & grow within you, then you may snap at someone, say something you don't mean, or worse. A healthy way to vent feelings will go a long way towards applying a positive outlook on your day & situations!

Now, for the specific issues you mentioned:

1. Can you stay with someone else, or report the abuse? Getting over depression will be excessively harder. If I were on your two feet, that's where I would start.

I don'y really have any friends in real life, mostly just on the net haha. I tend to just lock myself in my room... I also feel like I shouldn't report this, I don't really want this to be any worse by getting the police involved.

2.Why are they turning on you, & why are you getting death threats? Have you talked to the police in person about this? I find it dumb that they aren't taking measures in your situation. See if anything new can be achieved on this end.

Yeah, I did talk to them in person. The reason they turned down my report and how it started and why people are turning on me is all up above somewhere now.

3. When several things that can go wrong do end up going wrong, it's normal to feel like that. You have to wonder why all these things are happening to you. The conclusion that I came to was, life happens. Things happen. It's usually not fair, or ideal. It just happens. A fair amount of situations, conditions & other factors can all occur at the same time. If negative, it can feel like the world is bearing down on you. Don't give up though!

Keep on living! Death won't solve any of your problems, in my opinion. Life can be harsh, even cruel at times. Having lost both parents when I was a teenager, I can safely vouch for that. The reason that life isn't easy, to me, is because you can create & sculpt your life. You can make good decisions. Take confidence in yourself & the things you choose to do, principals you believe in. You won't ever know what your truly capable of, where your life will take you, if you commit suicide. I cannot speak on life after death in any way. I can, though, say that if you keep on trying, apply a positive mindset & actively try to make the difference in your life that you want, then you have a chance of getting past this. The reason it's chance, mind you, is because it depends solely on your efforts & actions. That's why it's so, so important that you do not give up. ♥

I really hope this helps!

Thank you, I appreciate that. It does help a bit to hear, I'll try my best.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Physical and verbal abuse has been happening. I've tried looking for those solutions, but a lot of them have 'requirements.' Low income, or other stuff like that.

That's simply not an acceptable response from the system. How old are you? Who is applying the abuse? If you're under age, child welfare should be all over this like a dirty shirt. If you're over 18, you NEED to look at every possibility available to you in terms of finding a new place to live.

This is probably one of the things that's made me feel the worse. A few months ago, I ended up having a heart attack because of all the stress I've been going through. One guy who didn't like me decided to start spreading a rumour that I had faked the entire thing. Soon after he started getting people to send me said death threats. When I contacted the police they claimed there was nothing much that they could do because said emails had been sent through a proxy which was linked through Germany... so they never really did much about them. He also acts passive all the time, so when I try to call him out people just begin to dislike me more.

I actually have a co-worker going through something extremely similar right now, right down to the death threats, harassment, proxy abuse, and police saying their hands are tied. While it pains me to say it, there are not a lot of avenues available to you for recompense in this situation. The best thing you can do is hand wave it as an extremely aggressive form of trolling. Hopefully without the gratification of a reaction from you, it will eventually subside.

You're welcome to speak with me any time you want about this stuff, and I'll respond as best I can. It's really important though that you seek more tangible assistance in the form of legal authorities (abuse) and medical authorities (depression, suicidal thoughts). It sounds like you've gotten a bit of the run around, but you need to stick with it. Depression is a very manageable condition, but the old wait and see what happens technique is not the approved cure, and the longer you stay in a stressful, abusive situation the more danger you're going to be in. The fact you already had a heart attack is horrifying. Our bodies do not process stress well, at all. We cannot distinguish between "Some jerk is being mean to me" and "My life is legitimately in danger". It just shuts down your immune system and pumps you full of adrenalin. And I'm sure you can figure out what the long term effects of having your immune system repressed are without me spelling it out for you.

 

[Mr Binary]

That's simply not an acceptable response from the system. How old are you? Who is applying the abuse? If you're under age, child welfare should be all over this like a dirty shirt. If you're over 18, you NEED to look at every possibility available to you in terms of finding a new place to live.

I'm 18, and it would be my mother and her boyfriend causing such abuse. I've been saving money to move out for a while now... so hopefully I can do that soon. She found out about it recently though, so I'm just hoping nothing comes from that.

I actually have a co-worker going through something extremely similar right now, right down to the death threats, harassment, proxy abuse, and police saying their hands are tied. While it pains me to say it, there are not a lot of avenues available to you for recompense in this situation. The best thing you can do is hand wave it as an extremely aggressive form of trolling. Hopefully without the gratification of a reaction from you, it will eventually subside.

Yeah, proxies are both a wonderful and terrible thing. I haven't really been acknowledging them, so I hope they'll stop. It's been a couple months already.

You're welcome to speak with me any time you want about this stuff, and I'll respond as best I can. It's really important though that you seek more tangible assistance in the form of legal authorities (abuse) and medical authorities (depression, suicidal thoughts). It sounds like you've gotten a bit of the run around, but you need to stick with it. Depression is a very manageable condition, but the old wait and see what happens technique is not the approved cure, and the longer you stay in a stressful, abusive situation the more danger you're going to be in. The fact you already had a heart attack is horrifying. Our bodies do not process stress well, at all. We cannot distinguish between "Some jerk is being mean to me" and "My life is legitimately in danger". It just shuts down your immune system and pumps you full of adrenalin. And I'm sure you can figure out what the long term effects of having your immune system repressed are without me spelling it out for you.

Thank you, I appreciate all the help and your opinions and advice on the matter. I'll try my best. There's other issues as well, but they're really personal ones which I'd rather discuss in PMs.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

I'm 18, and it would be my mother and her boyfriend causing such abuse. I've been saving money to move out for a while now... so hopefully I can do that soon. She found out about it recently though, so I'm just hoping nothing comes from that.

Well, there's certainly nothing legal she can do to prevent you leaving. If she tries to interfere, press charges. And consider pressing charges against the two of them anyway if violence is afoot, you're not actually ALLOWED to run around smacking people in adult life. The authorities take a dim view of it.

Thank you, I appreciate all the help and your opinions and advice on the matter. I'll try my best. There's other issues as well, but they're really personal ones which I'd rather discuss in PMs.

Well, door's always open. Talk is cheap, and all that.