Being the Agony Uncle.

ThatRandomGuy42

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Aug 21, 2011
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I want to hear some experiences and opinions.

First, what happened that made me post this. Bit of a story, but bare with me.
Last night was a Halloween Party. This was going just fine until a girl I had(might still do) a thing for and her boyfriend who is also a good friend of mine fell out. Bad.
The reason was this girl is against drink and drugs, and he was pissed out of his head.
Long story short, the girl was in hysterics about his behavior and they broke up.

Now to the main point. I became, literally, a shoulder to cry on, and took care of her and eventually made her feel a little bit better. I felt proud I managed to do this, and it was my first real attempt at helping another person emotionally.

So my question is, have you had an experience where you, even for a few minutes, became an agony uncle/auntie? If so, how did it go and how did you go about it.
 

ThatRandomGuy42

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TizzytheTormentor said:
I have been the agony uncle once, but it was for stupid shit like break ups. A girl constantly cried on my shoulder because of asshole boyfriend...

Then she went back to them a week later...and ***** about it again when they break up. I told her to stop going back to him if he is such a **** and she screams at me saying "You don't understand, he can change"

...then they broke up again (barely lasted 3 weeks this time) She texted me saying she was coming over to talk about it (and by talk, I mean cry incessantly about it) and I just told her NO! I was sick of listening to her about how much of a jackass this guy was when she wouldn't listen to anything I said, so I told her to find another persons ear to talk off.

I (thankfully) never saw her again (we were never actually friends so I had no idea why she came to me) I last heard she has gone to college with (you guessed it) her ex. Don't know what has happened to her since and honestly, I really don't care.
...Damn.
 

ThatRandomGuy42

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TizzytheTormentor said:
ThatRandomGuy42 said:
TizzytheTormentor said:
I have been the agony uncle once, but it was for stupid shit like break ups. A girl constantly cried on my shoulder because of asshole boyfriend...

Then she went back to them a week later...and ***** about it again when they break up. I told her to stop going back to him if he is such a **** and she screams at me saying "You don't understand, he can change"

...then they broke up again (barely lasted 3 weeks this time) She texted me saying she was coming over to talk about it (and by talk, I mean cry incessantly about it) and I just told her NO! I was sick of listening to her about how much of a jackass this guy was when she wouldn't listen to anything I said, so I told her to find another persons ear to talk off.

I (thankfully) never saw her again (we were never actually friends so I had no idea why she came to me) I last heard she has gone to college with (you guessed it) her ex. Don't know what has happened to her since and honestly, I really don't care.
...Jesus.
You might get a low content warning for that mate, just a heads up!

Some people may think I went too far in telling her to leave me alone, but I just didn't want to waste my time talking to her if she was just going to disregard my advice. I was happy to help her the first time, but then she just kept going back to her douche of an ex-boyfriend and I just stopped caring after the third time (She did this 5 times btw) came to my house to cry about her boyfriend and then get back together with him.

Anyway, a little more eventful then your one eh?
You could say that, yeah.
Was a little awkward, because I liked her, but I managed it somehow. Seriously, total hysterics.
 

Phasmal

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Jun 10, 2011
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I end up agony-aunting a lot, it seems.
Something about me must scream `tell me your problems`.

Which is ok, but I do have friends with problems far beyond my ability to help.
I had a bit of a falling out with a friend of mine who is constantly depressed who has attempted suicide in the past after he sent me a message implying he was about to kill himself, went dark for two days and then wanted to pretend nothing happened. I still haven't quite forgiven him for that.

But I do like helping my friends, so I can't really complain. It's what friends are for.
 

Hagi

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Nope, not really.

Not the greatest when it comes to emotions and such. Plus I tend to be somewhat distant socially so doubt anyone ever really saw me as the guy to go to.

Can't say I mind, I know where my talents lie and being an agony uncle isn't it.
 

ThatRandomGuy42

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Phasmal said:
I end up agony-aunting a lot, it seems.
Something about me must scream `tell me your problems`.

Which is ok, but I do have friends with problems far beyond my ability to help.
I had a bit of a falling out with a friend of mine who is constantly depressed who has attempted suicide in the past after he sent me a message implying he was about to kill himself, went dark for two days and then wanted to pretend nothing happened. I still haven't quite forgiven him for that.

But I do like helping my friends, so I can't really complain. It's what friends are for.
Yeah, kinda experienced that with my cousin, except she was lying.
Hagi said:
Nope, not really.

Not the greatest when it comes to emotions and such. Plus I tend to be somewhat distant socially so doubt anyone ever really saw me as the guy to go to.

Can't say I mind, I know where my talents lie and being an agony uncle isn't it.
Fair enough :p I thought the same tbh.
 

Stasisesque

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I don't think I have a friend who hasn't come to me with their problems. I don't mind, I love them all and am willing to help. Sometimes I'm a bit jealous of them/myself, really, as I have extreme difficulty in opening up or asking for help. My boyfriend is the only person I feel comfortable actually talking about feelings with, and even then most of my feelings are happiness or rage.

I should probably see someone about that, actually. I don't get upset, I just get very very angry.
 

Joseph Harrison

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Could someone please explain to me what an Agony Uncle/Aunt is, I don't think I've heard this wonderful phrase before.
 

game-lover

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Only once, really.

I did so with my mother but she didn't come to me. I found her crying in her room. It had relationship issues with her boyfriend who used to be a stepfather but who I no longer claim even though she's still putting up with his shit.

Anyway, I had the option of sneaking away and chose to stay and hug her until she felt better.

That's about it.
 

DugMachine

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Yup. A lot of friends come to me to vent or just cry because I'm a great listener and rarely don't understand where they're coming from. Even if I don't, I just listen and try to help in any way I can without involving myself in their personal issues.

I enjoy helping people so yeah, I've been the Agony Uncle many times.
 

ThatRandomGuy42

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Joseph Harrison said:
Could someone please explain to me what an Agony Uncle/Aunt is, I don't think I've heard this wonderful phrase before.
When you sit down, and listen to peoples problems and try to help them out. Sometimes the would-be "Aunt" is the one to ask, but sometimes the one with the problem comes to you.
 

JoJo

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Not really, I'm not the sort who's great with understanding other people's emotions and I tend to deal with my own problems rather than venting so there wouldn't be much give and take either...
 

ThatRandomGuy42

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JoJo said:
Not really, I'm not the sort who's great with understanding other people's emotions and I tend to deal with my own problems rather than venting so there wouldn't be much give and take either...
Neither am I tbh.
 

Woodsey

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Not really, it's difficult to feign interest and people tend to be almost comically over-dramatic.
 

lacktheknack

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People draw to me for this kind of thing. I'm not sure why, but I'm happy with it. People need emotional support, I'm happy to help.

I'm pretty sure I know more "Don't Tell ANYONE This" secrets than anyone else in this whole neighborhood.
 

hazabaza1

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Not really. Don't have a great deal of friends and they don't complain much.
 

Shoggoth2588

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I didn't know that kind of thing had a name...I've been an Agony Uncle more than once and apparently it's saved two lives, potentially three. My cousin was the first one who had been through a bad break-up. He was apparently a cutter and, was into simulated drowning. After the break up he seemed to have considered a more active form of suicide but told me later on that I intervened just by talking to him over the phone.

My friend has the same story only he doesn't have a history of cutting, etc. He went through one bad break up, got into a second relationship and that one fizzled too. This happened in the span of roughly 3 months. So he, in pain, just wanted sleep but he didn't take enough sleeping pills to end himself. He claims I helped out in that decision.

The third is a friend since High School. She and I dated but the nature of our relationship has never thrived when romance was involved. Anyway, she and I have taken turns being the auntie and uncle. She came out to me, I to her, she helped me through a bad break up, I helped her through financial distress, and we've been like siblings for years. I don't think she would ever take her own life but we've helped each other through some rivers of shit.