Being Yourself

[JUMBO PALACE]

Often times it takes me a long time to warm up to people. At times I think I come off as cold or off-Standish, when really I'm just kinda quiet until you get to know me. Any of you guys and girls have trouble being yourself at first? What do you do to feel more relaxed?

 

[Simalacrum]

I think being a bit quiet and whatnot at first is very natural for many people. Me, personally? I don't generally find that nowadays, but a) I'm a strange, strange person, b) I used to be a lot more reserved, and still would be if it were not for social skills lessons to help with my Asperger Syndrome, and c) I can still be quite shy, depending on what mood I'm in.

 

[Melian]

It completely depends on the situation and on the people in it. If it's an enviroment I'm comfortable in, I can be quite a bit like my "outer" self (that is to say, the sociable person I try to be), even if I don't know anyone there, and same thing goes for familiar people in combination with unfamiliar terrain. However, if everything is unfamiliar, I tend to get very quiet and simply observe until I'm comfortable enough to maybe join in on a conversation.

 

[Paksenarrion]

I try to open up and be patient with new people I come across, but sometimes they don't listen to me when I tell them to PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

 

[Eumersian]

I do come off as cold or stand-offish, I imagine. I don't talk much, that's just been my nature ever since I learned to talk. I recall a time when my grandmother said "How does he have any friends if he never talks?" Yep. How did I is right?

That being said, I never have any trouble being myself. I am usually very strange to people I know. But to people I don't know, I'm often very formal. I try to be at least a little interesting, but not go overboard on the weird, lest I scare them away. This is myself, so I guess I'm being it all the time.

 

[rutger5000]

This is what I did when I entered a party where I literally didn't know anyone. As in all the people there were complete strangers to me. (It paid of extremely well)
Take a few deep breaths and get decide that you're going to walk up a group of people, introduce yourself (properly! smile and shake hands), ask if you can sit down with them (if they are sitting of course) or maybe hang if there are standing. In the situation you created people won't find it odd when you're a bit quiet. You could apply this same logic during lunch in the school cafeteria.
About being yourself I can't give advice. I really don't know who I am, therefor I don't know if I'm being myself or not.

 

[endnuen]

How do you get to know people without opening up to them?

 

[steve.wough]

Often times it takes me a long time to warm up to people. At times I think I come off as cold or off-Standish, when really I'm just kinda quiet until you get to know me. Any of you guys and girls have trouble being yourself at first? What do you do to feel more relaxed?

One reason I dont understand very much the concept 'be yourself' is, I cannot fully grasp who I am. Its very difficult to find who really am I.

So i just concentrate on improving myself to meet my needs, and try to be compassionate with others because it gives me peace and happiness.

 

[PleaseDele]

Often times it takes me a long time to warm up to people. At times I think I come off as cold or off-Standish, when really I'm just kinda quiet until you get to know me. Any of you guys and girls have trouble being yourself at first? What do you do to feel more relaxed?

I had trouble "being" myself but that was because I simply didn't know who I was yet. After awhile is found out making music was my thing and that gives you an anchor. As to getting more relaxed around people, it sort of comes natural these days. However when it does not I simply think "it's okay to feel awkward, these are new people."

By not worrying about it you'll see you either get contact or you don't. In the latter I just go to some other people if that's an option.

 

[LittleJP]

Since I haven't been among a group of strangers in a while, I've had the freedom to do whatever shenanigans I pleased. Within reason of course.

Whenever I am among new people, I just smile politely, listen, and add my own points in their conversation. Gradually, the atmosphere loosens up, and I get more freedom to be myself.

 

[Xenomemphate]

Often times it takes me a long time to warm up to people. At times I think I come off as cold or off-Standish, when really I'm just kinda quiet until you get to know me. Any of you guys and girls have trouble being yourself at first? What do you do to feel more relaxed?

Yup, I was bullied for 6 years, so developed an outer shell of indifference to the world. The only time I am ever truly myself is when I am on my own, or with my small group of mates. I find it very difficult to make new friends, and even harder to trust them (as it was my supposed "friends" that started it all).

Its a shame, because I really do enjoy being myself.

 

[KarmaTheAlligator]

Often times it takes me a long time to warm up to people. At times I think I come off as cold or off-Standish, when really I'm just kinda quiet until you get to know me. Any of you guys and girls have trouble being yourself at first? What do you do to feel more relaxed?

I'm exactly the same, and I've come to stop worrying about it. I have a few close friends from back in College and work, and I'm making new acquaintances through my Japanese classes now, but I just accept the fact I'm never going to be the life of the party or be comfortable talking to strangers. And doing that actually helped me relax and be a bit more open.

Try it, it can't hurt.