Best combinations you've gotten in Cards Against Humanity

bartholen_v1legacy

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Jan 24, 2009
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I printed out the standard game you can get for free some time ago, and have played 5 games so far. I was rather disappointed in how tame and devoid of shock value most of the cards in the standard deck were. For a game that claims to be for "horrible people" there was a remarkable lack of bestiality, child abuse, violence, disease, porn and other such fun in the cards. So I made a whole load of my own. So far the best combinations we've gotten (the underlined parts are the blanks in the cards) have been:

"Over the course of the evening the rape of my grandmother turned into euthanasia"

"Sex with a horse + necropedophilia = The hottest porn video you've ever seen"

"The newest interactive display in the science center is about Auschwitz"

All these absolutely demolished everyone with laughter. What are some like these that you've gotten?

I mean seriously, this is what you call a party game for horrible people? Granted, I printed out the translated deck where some of the jokes are lost in translation, but there's still shockingly many cards that are just worthless. "A monkey smoking a cigar", "Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine", "A gassy antelope", "Shiny Objects", "Laying an egg", "A bucket of fish heads", "Bees?" (why the question mark?), "The entire Mormon tabernacle choir", "The heart of a child"????? What the fuck am I supposed to do with any of these? They're not funny, they're not clever, they're not shocking, they're not even weird enough to get a surreal laugh. Some of them just seem like random words thrown together in an attempt to form some kind of surreal incoherency, but it just comes off as lame. One I was particularly annoyed by was "Flying sex snakes" (I actually don't know if that's even in the original deck, but it was in the translation). What the hell is that supposed to be? Is it some reference? Is it supposed to be surreal and weird? Edgy? If it's trying something, it's failing. It comes across like something a 12-year old would write in an attempt to seem edgy and naughty.

When I started making cards including midget/poop porn, bestiality, rape, hate crimes, flat out racism and all that fun stuff, the game improved immensely. Granted, all those things are probably found in the expansions, but this is about the standard deck.
 

Silentpony_v1legacy

Alleged Feather-Rustler
Jun 5, 2013
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Samtemdo8 said:
I really don't see the popularity of this game.
That's because you're a replicant human, and haven't download Personality v.1.4.1.1 which contains the Comedy Appreciation Subroutine.
 

Sassafrass

This is a placeholder
Legacy
Aug 24, 2009
51,250
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United Kingdom
I can't recall the exact wording of the combination or the black card, but I recall my two white cards where a mix of "Auschwitz" and "The corpses of 6000 children." or something similar. Most of my friends try to be funny when they play, but me and a couple of others play to be offensive as we can. :p
 

Elvis Starburst

Unprofessional Rant Artist
Legacy
Aug 9, 2011
2,816
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It wasn't one I drew myself, but I was the Czar and I was reading the cards. My mom of all people gave me "I'm going to kill you Mr. Bond. But before I do, I must show you" and "a bleached asshole." I dunno why it was so funny, I have no idea what made me laugh so much... But I laughed for a solid 2 minutes to the point my chest hurt, my head was on the table, and I was red in the face. I felt like I was dying and it was hilarious!
 

SupahEwok

Malapropic Homophone
Legacy
Jun 24, 2010
4,028
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Texas
My experience with CAH is that I'll put the effort into trying to come up with something clever and witty, and sometimes fail, sometimes succeed, but it won't matter because my friends will just always choose a fucking dick or gross-out joke instead.

Yeah, I'm a hipster like that. Sue me.
 

WolfThomas

Man must have a code.
Dec 21, 2007
5,292
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Sweet sweet vengeance Life time presents the story of scalping the Milky-bar Kid

That made me laugh so much...
 

Chimpzy_v1legacy

Warning! Contains bananas!
Jun 21, 2009
4,789
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Don't remember the exact wording but it was something along the lines of:

'What did the Americans airdrop for the children of Afghanistan?'
'Starving African children.'

And of course, the combination of any black card with 'Daniel Radcliffe's delicious asshole' is always your guarantee for a hoot.
 

Schadrach

Elite Member
Legacy
Mar 20, 2010
2,281
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US
"I never understood a foul mouth until I saw Stephen Hawking talking dirty."

I mean, come on.
 

bartholen_v1legacy

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Jan 24, 2009
3,056
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Oh, and there was also:

"I never understood to be an asshole to kids until I saw Down Syndrome"
 

Evonisia

Your sinner, in secret
Jun 24, 2013
3,257
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"Giving birth to the Anti-Christ :That's so metal."

Not the funniest, but god damn it is a perfect combination.

And if this only referring to the ones where you have to pick 2 or 3, I'm sorry, none are as perfect as this ;-)
 

CrazyCapnMorgan

Is not insane, just crazy >:)
Jan 5, 2011
2,742
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To add on to the "I never understood..." crowd, my brother had:

"I never understood sexual tension until I saw an AK-47 assault rifle."

That had everyone cracking up.
 

Kitsune Hunter

What a beautiful Duwang!
Dec 18, 2011
1,072
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This personal favourite managed to make me win a round for once

"We didn't find Santa Claus, but we sure learned a lot about necrophilia"
 

RedDeadFred

Illusions, Michael!
May 13, 2009
4,896
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Can't remember the exact wording, but it was something along the lines of:

"My lifelong dream of having necrophilia was ruined by grave robbing."
 

Saltyk

Sane among the insane.
Sep 12, 2010
16,755
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I can think of a few that stick out.

Step One: Mecha-Hitler
Step Two: Buring Jews
Step Three: Profit

Also, a while back one of our black friends drew "_______, high five, bro." I gave him "big black dick". Sadly, it lost to an even better card.

The KKK, high five, bro.
 

SquidVicious

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2011
428
1
23
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United States
I can't remember the exact wording but it involved serfs building a monument to serfdom.