Best comedy bit

[Layz92]

Post the sections of a comedians routine (or ramblings if you are more into a ross noble-ish type of comedy) that you would consider one of the, if not the funniest bit you have heard.

For me it would probably be George Carlin's modern man speech.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

For me it's a tie.

There's the late George Carlin's 7 words you can't say on television (although it's now down to six since shit has been allowed)


The next would be Denis Leary's Asshole.

 

[Griphphin]

too too many to count, but I instantly thought of Carlin for whatever reason. Dude's just that prolific in comedy I suppose. I'll fetch up a good sketch on racism by Bill Burr as that one comes to mind as well. I could fill up this topic with youtube links if I put up all my favorites in to particular order
EDIT:

Couldn't care less about the message, just the standup​

"Suck a bag of dicks to you too sir!"​

 

[Ladette]

Tough call, but i'd have to go with this Eddie Murphy bit. It reminds me of my own family in more ways than one.