Best Exam Answers

[CarbonEagle]

Once in grade 11 german class we were supposed to write a page on what we wanted to be when we grow up (In grade 11? Seriously)

So since the teacher was an idiot and I thought the assignment was dumb i was gonna mess with her. So i followed all the guidelines of the assignment perfectly and even added extra stuff to make it better. I wrote all about how when i was older i was going to be a dirty puddle of mud and take over the world and went into great detail about how i would do it and how long it would take and how even though she knew my plans there was still no stopping me.

I was the only person who got full marks... but the teacher angrily slapped the paper on my desk when she finished marking it

 

[I Fiend I]

This thread has made me laugh SO much!

OT: When asked "Why did the Russians have an advantage over the Germans when they invaded Russia?"(Or something like that) and my answer was "Because they camped and Germany was full of n00bs"

HAHAHAHAHA looooooooool

 

[technoted]

Due to my hatred for my graphics teacher i intentionaly failed Graphic design at GCSE level, my coursework over 2 years consisted of one peice of paper with an X box 360 game case stapled to it, and every answer on my test was either the word submarine or a drawing of a submarine. the greatest fail i have ever achieved.

 

[Terror_666]

Once upon a time I had a test about some book I had not read and had no intention of ever reading, so I wrote my name, the date and all that jazz, then answered every question with something like;

1. I haven't read the book

6. Nope still haven't read it

10. Ohh wait, wait, wait for it.... nope still haven't read it.

I still got a 1 out of 10

Also what must be said is that I had already past that class and could get zero's on all the remaining exams and would still have been fine.

 

[Taerdin]

How the hell did they get a tick for that?

On a physics exam there was a question that was something like, what power of a field is required to stop an electron or some such thing (its been years give me a break) and my friend had no idea, so he drew a really good picture of batman and wrote "BATMAN WILL STOP THE ELECTRON!!!"

He got like 1/6 on it or something. I think this has happened to him more than once, he drew a really nice picture and got just above 0 on the question for his effort.

Also...

A story I hear often: A professor in a philosophy class addresses his students regarding their test. "For your test I want you to prove to me that this chair does not exist" The Professor then takes his chair and places it up on his desk. All the students begin writing all kinds of philosophy principles and ways of thought, theorizing about what it means to truly exist and etc. But one very clever student got full marks for simply writing down "What chair?"

 

[Jamienra]

Tried to fix but can't figure why these aren't working.

thanks for trying. I dont understand either its normally fine

 

[Discord]

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Oh, also....

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Maybe.....

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there are more, and I will find them.

Found some more!

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I had a good one until I saw that damn sparta one... now I can't stop laughing

 

[SirDerick]

My teacher once game us a huge crossword puzzle and, by accident, he gave me two copies. On the first one I wrote the serious answers. On the second I wrote my name as "Banana Man" and wrote "banananananananana..." in all the slots.

Also: technically not an exam but, our teacher passed around a piece of paper and asked us to write our names. about 20 kids in our class and there were 40 names on the paper.

Names like Queen Elizabeth, Chuck Norris, Mr.t Mac Guiver and I.P. Freely.

We had a good chuckle, but when the teacher actually read them out loud to connect the name to the face, we were laughing our asses off.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

Spoiler: Image 1

Spoiler: Image 2

Tried to fix but can't figure why these aren't working.

thanks for trying. I dont understand either its normally fine

You linked the page instead of the pictures.
I fixed it for you. Just remember that you need to link the picture, not the page

 

[SextusMaximus]

Holy shit....

That was the funniest thing I ever read.

And he got a 37 percent from it.

Wow...

Then look at this [http://static.scribd.com/FlashPaperS3_6.swf?guid=iyf3q21g5duht&document_id=91&INITIAL_VIEW=width]

Mr. Freeman? ... perhaps Gordon got up to a little more than he shows, this could be the layout of Episode 3!

 

[The Austin]

Spoiler

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Oh, also....

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Maybe.....

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there are more, and I will find them.

Found some more!

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Commi, I give you props on the Spartan one. I laughed my ass off.

 

[ironlordthemad]

The internet is full of them. I saw one recently (failblog, I think it was) that was a plot dissertation of Avatar.

Except it was Pocahontas with the names replaced.

And it was perfect.

So, what the hell are you waiting for? POST IT HERE! NOW! DO IT!

i posted it on the forums and got shat on from a very great height...

anyway this thread is total win from start to finish

 

[Daffy F]

In chemistry I was asked to analyze all the kinds of bonds.
So I listed all the James Bond actors and wrote shortly the pros and cons of their portrayals.

YES! Brilliant =] I would high five you, but I'm nowhere near you right now. (as far as you know)

 

[team star pug]

A classic.

That is total win! lol

A good question I heard once which was quite funny (On a BBC Comedy show)

"If you have 3 Tanks and Valdamir has 300 Tanks. Why would you go to war?"

Mock the week, scenes we'ed like to see, david mitchell, topic= exam questions you wouldn't hear.

EPIC WIN

 

[tomtom94]

4 pages and already two references to Red Dwarf? I'm delighted.

Spoiler: The scene in question

Rimmer: Lister, last time I only failed by the narrowest of narrow margins.
Lister: You what? You went in there, wrote "I AM A FISH" four hundred times, did a funny little dance and fainted!
Rimmer: That's a total lie.
Lister: No, it's not. Peterson told me.
Rimmer: "No, it's not. Peterson told me." Lister, if you must know, I submitted a discourse on porous circuitry that was too... radical, too unconventional, too mold-breaking for the examiners to accept.
Lister: Yeah. You said you were a fish!

Anyway, my personal (quite old) favourite:

Expand (a+b):

(a + b)

( a + b )

(....a....+....b....)

(..........a...........+..........b..........)

 

[happysock]

I really went to town on this one.
The last one is long but is well worth reading.

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Spoiler: Pure Gold

 

[Mrkittycat]

i had to write a paper involving religon, mystery and sex. i didnt feal like wrtting a long story that day so i wrote

Oh my god im pregnant!!! I wonder who the daddy is!!!

god, pregnant, wonder = religon, sex, mystery

I hate to be a buzz kill, but the pun is "Good god I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it".

 

[GrinningManiac]

Once I wrote:


If a certain frequency is met, one photon will release one electron. Name this phenomena.

Dave.

In chemistry I was asked to analyze all the kinds of bonds.
So I listed all the James Bond actors and wrote shortly the pros and cons of their portrayals.

How the hell did they get a tick for that?

These guys got the best laugh from me

 

[BlindMessiah94]

oh thanks i needed a laugh today