Best Exam Answers

[Spectrum_Prez]

I heard a story about a potential Cambridge University applicant, who arrived at his interview and was prompted, somewhat rudely, with the challenge "Surprise me". The interviewer then takes out a newspaper and begins reading. The Interviewee took out his lighter and set the newspaper on fire. He got in.

Not really an exam, don't know if it's true, don't care about either, it's awesome.

Haha, I've heard that same story but with an Oxford applicant.

In my GCSE chemistry there was a question in which an imaginary woman states that all chemicals are bad for you. It then asks 'She is wrong. Why'. I wrote 'She is a woman' crossed it out with a single line so it could still be read and then procceed to answer it properly.

I've done something like that before. My department at my uni is a pretty big deal within its field historically but that was in the past and nowadays a few of the professors are basically just historians of the heyday of our relevance. One exam question asked "Is it time to abandon the _________ school of thought on ________". At the top of the answer sheet, I wrote, "no, cause you would all be out of a job" and then drew a line through it before beginning my real answer.

 

[The Warden]

I once had a test where we were supposed to write a short story.
I decided to just use the lyrics from the Fresh Prince theme song.

 

[person427]

Question: How does something cause something? (I can't remember the question, but that's not important.
Friend's Answer: Yes (he missed the word "how")
Teacher's responce: That's like me asking you to find X if X squared= 2X+5 (or something like that) and you answering tollito.

I have another friend who found a way to mention Napoleon Bonaparte in every history essay he wrote. And he wrote in 1st person on the one about Napoleon.

 

[Micklet]

In my final year of classics at college I was asked something on Plato, (I cant remember exactly what). So I simply wrote "I am wise as I know that I do not know." I got a first. BOOYA!!!

 

[necromanzer52]

I once put down "Hitler never played risk when he was a kid" as the reason Germany lost the war.

 

[MazzaTheFirst]

Both me and a friend of mine had to do some religion essay years ago. We decided it would be funny to place the words "Goodly" and "Goodlyness" into this essay as many times as possible. As well as Badong and Gnodab at least once. (From Kung Pow - Enter the Fist)

 

[Jekken6]

'Pi are round, not square'

 

[V-Savas]

In my grade 12 Philosophy class our teacher had us open to a page about Jeremy Bentham, the guy that went on about the greater good. We thought was odd as we were like 3 chapters before this. Our teacher opens up with "So I want you all to take a look at this picture here. [Points to picture of a man sitting in a chair with a caption under it] Now I don't know why this is here. But the caption reads that in his will he wrote he wanted his body on display at the university he went to." (this is not the weirdest bit) "This says his body is now on display at that university and at the end of the day his head is stored in a bag." Now you may say wtf here and you can probably look this up somewhere and realize I am not kidding you.

A question on our philosophy exam?
Q. Whose head is in a bag?
A. Jeremy Bentham

 

[V-Savas]

Also, not exactly an exam question but the last day of grade 12 a friend of mine decided to imitate something she'd seen... And at the end of her Latin class that last day she jumped out of her seat, screamed "I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!" And ran from the classroom. Pretty sure she passed that class.

 

[KillerH]

This isn't a funny answer, but just funny in general.

A friend of mine got a -1 on a math test. A MATH TEST!

Here's how: he got all of the answers wrong, and forgot to use equal signs. The teacher automatically deducts 1 point if you don't use signs, or don't use them properly. So, regardless of this being mathematically incorrect, he got a negative score on a math test.

 

[cheese_wizington]

One of my friends put 42 for every answer in math.

He failed.

For French exams I always put random names for the people we have "conversations with, (E.G. Harry Aushvitz). I actually get smiles and extra credit for it.

I put "anal seepage" as an answer for a math problem; that teacher doesn't like me anymore.

I always draw on tests. (smileys in French, as you can guess my French teacher kicks ass.)

 

[jesse.]

"If you have 3 Tanks and Valdamir has 300 Tanks. Why would you go to war?"

Spoiler: Because you're Finland

SHIT Russia must be fruit salad because Finland chopped them up!

 

[Dragoonit]

I still have more

Spoiler

i think the teacher's response is funnier than the actual drawing....

 

[jesse.]

On a Japanese exam my class had to read a letter and answer the questions. I couldn't read Jap though One of the questions were Is the writer male or female, and why do you think this? I wrote Girls, coz girls are in to writing letters and all that sorta shit.
I got 2 out of 5.

 

[kotorfan04]

I once put down "Hitler never played risk when he was a kid" as the reason Germany lost the war.

Cheers for the Eddie Izzard reference.

 

[Warready]

Little back story on this first. I went to a small highschool, in which I got a reputation with the teachers for not doing homework/projects due to the fact I felt they were busy work. I demonstrated my belief by getting perfect scores on most my tests/quizzes.

My modern warfare teacher was badass. He caught wind of this and decided instead of making me do my final essay, he bought a bunch of parts and told me to build his wife a computer and he'd grade me on how well it worked. Well I got everything but the sound working (sound card was bad). He gave me a B for it.

On our final test he gave us the bonus question "Write a paragraph about the most important thing you learned in this class." I went on to write about how much of a bastard he was for buying cheap parts and docking me for a defective part. I ended up getting ten extra points for it.

 

[akiata]

This isn't so much an answer but still fits, I think.
A woman in my calc class randomly started crying and yelled, "This is my third time taking this class! Why can't I get it?!"
We were only 20 minutes into the test.

One time in my creative writing class, the professor thought he would teach us about bad story telling and asked us to reduce a published work to as little as we could. I wrote, "Stuff happened in the kitchen." Full marks.

 

[Redemption003]

Well an exam I had today (yes I had an exam Saturday morning...yes it sucks) was conveniently mostly made up of questions that had been previously issued as revision material, except for one question which asked for a detailed labelled diagram of a member of the class Asteroidea (star fish).

I had no idea what to do for this so I gave them a labelled diagram of a Staryu, the rest of the exam should be enough to pass with thankfully.

 

[HollywoodH17]

Not exactly an exam answer, but on a professor's evaluation, I wrote that she was a "cold-hearted, iron-fisted despot with no future as a teacher." Lady talked to college students like we were kindergartners, and would scold us if she didn't see us writing notes down. This is only the tip of the iceberg.