best random comeback?

[sky14kemea]

Me and my brother manage to make sexual references to children's books in our comebacks. But seriously, what better ones are there than the good ol' classics "your mum" and "so's your face"

On a side note:

My friend was having insults hurled at him from the other end of a bus once and he managed to silence it all with a completely random "I touched your grandma".
I nearly wet myself laughing at it.

oh yeah? well your dad told me your mom and him are getting a divorce!

Simply not funny at all. You're trying too hard to be random. Try less, kid.

This thread was bad to begin with why was it revived? Like i made this thread when i was JUST starting and you revive it just to act like an ass? Look at the post date. 1) 24 August 2009 0:37 am

Ah, the bane of Necro-ers. They just have to comment on something, even if its years old xD

 

[Twilight_guy]

your mother wears army boots!

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

best reply to insult ever, used in on the street once

I accidently bump into some random asshole

RA: "Watch it, dick. You're a real shithead"
Me: "Yeah? Well your mother is a classy lady"

*walked away*

 

[TheIr0nMike]

"Go jump in a food processor."

It was only made better when someone let out a dramatic "What", he responded by saying, "I mean, go , PLAY in a food processor".

 

[Inktank]

I'm going to eat your family

 

[aPod]

"That's what she said"

If used it the right context...

I did that on sight at a job once...

The clients were there, i nearly lost my job.

 

[effilctar]

Me and my brother manage to make sexual references to children's books in our comebacks. But seriously, what better ones are there than the good ol' classics "your mum" and "so's your face"

On a side note:

My friend was having insults hurled at him from the other end of a bus once and he managed to silence it all with a completely random "I touched your grandma".
I nearly wet myself laughing at it.

oh yeah? well your dad told me your mom and him are getting a divorce!

Simply not funny at all. You're trying too hard to be random. Try less, kid.

This thread was bad to begin with why was it revived? Like i made this thread when i was JUST starting and you revive it just to act like an ass? Look at the post date. 1) 24 August 2009 0:37 am

I didn't revive it, I'm not one to lurk past the first page. Also, pointing out a terrible joke does not make me an ass.

 

[FranzTyphid]

Random dick:I fucked your mum

Me:MY MUMS DEAD YOU FUCK TART!

my mums actually fine by the way

 

[TimeLord]

"That's what she said"

If used it the right context...

If used in any context!

 

[nickster1]

I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!!

 

[TriggerHappyAngel]

well, my and a friend of mine where doing a newspaper round, when 2 annoying 16 year old girls came riding next to us on their bikes and they said "hiiii" in a real bitchy annoying way... so i screamed out of nowhere "MARRY ME!!!!" and they rode away as fast as they could!

 

[God's Clown]

I don't know if it really counts as "random" or a "comeback" but I turn basically anything someone says into a mom joke.

 

[Ekonk]

"That's what she said"

If used it the right context...

Dear god, the hilarity I have experienced with that phrase...

 

[Latinidiot]

my teacher was yelling at my friend once, when he replied 'It's because I'm black, isn't it!
he's white as fucking snow.

 

[TriGGeR_HaPPy]

Your a bag of chicken flavoured chips! No-one likes you!

Ha!
For some reason, that's just so brilliant...

Anyway, OT:
Personal favourite of mine?
With a smile/grin on your face, until the final line where you suddenly lose the smile...
"Hey...
Hey (first name)...
...
Hey...
...
...
Hey...
Hey (first name)...
...
Fuck you."

With all the "hey"'s, anyone in the group begins to shut up and listen.
And when done right, it gets a good laugh.

 

[Darth payder]

so's your face,
As a reply to anything is good then when they say that doesn't make sence add in another so's your face, silence garenteed!

i owe so much to scrubs

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

"I fucked your granma"
"My granma's dead, you idiot"
"I guess that's why she didn't move around a lot"

Oh Baseketball, how I love thee.

 

[Fuloqwam]

You can win without cursing and without even insulting them. Just ask them to repeat it, and then walk away mid-sentence. You get to be the classy one that way.

Or try this:
Them: "Your haircut is ugly"
You: "What?"
Them: "I said your haircu--"
You: "Shut Up."

Simple, but it works.

 

[jaammiie]

In your pants. Guaranteed laughs with that high class, sophisticated joke.

 

[atomicmrpelly]

My granny told me when she was at school they still had pens with inkpots and her friend stuck her ruler in hers. When the teacher saw it she said something predictable like 'What on Earth is that doing in there?' so the girl replied: 'It's for the goldfish to climb out.'... It worked apparently, she did not get the cane!