Blatant Lies

[=y]

I work tomorrow!

 

[Roxas1359]

I didn't apply for another job right now.

 

[Fijiman]

I know when the world will end.

 

[Dalek Caan]

I hate women with red hair and the Irish language is my favourite thing ever.

 

[Fijiman]

Someone replaced my left ear with a tennis shoe. I am currently in a large amounts of pain.

 

[=y]

Another day, another case of arson.

*plays with lighter thoughtfully*

 

[Fijiman]

My pants are on fire.

 

[Roxas1359]

I will pour acid on your eyelids.

 

[Fijiman]

I will dip your toes in molten cheese and then lock your feet inside a box of really pissed off rats... and then give you a lollipop.

 

[Fijiman]

My little brother isn't being a little mopey ***** right now because he definitely doesn't have our parents breathing down his neck to get his work done instead of not failing some of his classes more than he already is.
[sub][sup]It's simple, you do the damned homework and other stupid assignments and you'll get good grades. Why does he find that so difficult to understand?[/sup][/sub]

 

[Fijiman]

Aren't little brothers awesome.

 

[=y]

My parents aren't talking about putting my Grandmother in a home. She is capable of living by herself. She is comfortable with the idea.

This doesn't put my Dad in the awkward position as the only one of his brothers and sisters who wants her in a home. He isn't being painted as the villain in all of this. Family drama is fun!

 

[=y]

@overpuce: It's sounding like she'll be in a very, very close place.

 

[Sacman]

My older brother isn't a huge raging ducking asshole who didn't ruin my childhood and I don't think about murdering him in his sleep sometimes...

 

[Roxas1359]

My older sister is the kindest, most emotionally stable human being on the planet.

 

[=y]

I'm very close to her. By that I mean by location and not affection.

[sub]I must be tired, lying seems really hard right now.[/sub]

 

[MammothBlade]

I can use my left thumb right now. It isn't covered in a bandage due to a nail infection.

 

[Fijiman]

I'm taking a soda bath right now.

 

[MammothBlade]

You can hop in mine - I have roman-style baths at my mansion.

 

[MammothBlade]

I love energy drinks. They don't make me sick.