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The review below is short due to... well, a lack of content to review.
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If I mentioned my level 70 Tauren Warrior to another gamer, chances are they would pick up on the fact that I play (Or in my case, used to play) World of Warcraft. If I were to mention to that same person my level 7 Double Wookiee Bastard Lunatic, chances are they would cast doubts upon my sanity. Most of us know what a Fireball spell does. We've seen enough of them in games to know what to expect. But what can we expect from a Cone of Annoyance spell? And what game lets you slaughter Girl Scouts and take their cookies as loot, anyway?
The answer? Progress Quest. It's a one-of-a-kind game, as far as I can gather, and it is the ultimate answer to World of Warcraft. The reason? This game plays itself. No, really. All the input the player has is their character's name, race, class and stats. The name is merely an identifying mark, the race and class don't seem to mean anything and the stats are all but pointless. As soon as you click "Sold!", the game plays itself. Your character heads out into the "Killing Fields" and comes face to face with everything from underage Gargoyles to teenage Shambling Mounds and Battle-Otyughs, as well as the odd "passing Skraeling Tickle-Mimic".
Your character automatically loots one item from each fallen enemy and heads off to the market to sell their ill-gotten gains should they run out of available space to carry items, before buying better equipment if they have the gold and then returning to the Killing Fields to resume the slaughter. Along the way, they will acquire spells such as "Innoculate", "Rabbit punch", "Aqueous Humour", "Hastiness" and the previously-mentioned "Cone of Annoyance".
It's technically impossible to grade this game on gameplay, since it has none. It's also impossible to grade it on audio, as it's whatever music you happen to be playing at the time. It's also impossible to grade it on graphics, since there's nothing beyond the most basic of stat screens. It's in the same vein as the IRC game "IdleRPG", except the character action updates are extremely frequent so there's always something happening. Therefore, Progress Quest is the first game to ever earn my recommendation of "Get it" based on the fact that it has no gameplay, audio or graphics.
But let's face it, any game that features Were-Skeletons and Talking Pony Robot Monks deserves looking at. For that same reason, the person who thought this game up also needs looking at.
Verdict: Download it (It's free)
The review below is short due to... well, a lack of content to review.
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If I mentioned my level 70 Tauren Warrior to another gamer, chances are they would pick up on the fact that I play (Or in my case, used to play) World of Warcraft. If I were to mention to that same person my level 7 Double Wookiee Bastard Lunatic, chances are they would cast doubts upon my sanity. Most of us know what a Fireball spell does. We've seen enough of them in games to know what to expect. But what can we expect from a Cone of Annoyance spell? And what game lets you slaughter Girl Scouts and take their cookies as loot, anyway?
The answer? Progress Quest. It's a one-of-a-kind game, as far as I can gather, and it is the ultimate answer to World of Warcraft. The reason? This game plays itself. No, really. All the input the player has is their character's name, race, class and stats. The name is merely an identifying mark, the race and class don't seem to mean anything and the stats are all but pointless. As soon as you click "Sold!", the game plays itself. Your character heads out into the "Killing Fields" and comes face to face with everything from underage Gargoyles to teenage Shambling Mounds and Battle-Otyughs, as well as the odd "passing Skraeling Tickle-Mimic".
Your character automatically loots one item from each fallen enemy and heads off to the market to sell their ill-gotten gains should they run out of available space to carry items, before buying better equipment if they have the gold and then returning to the Killing Fields to resume the slaughter. Along the way, they will acquire spells such as "Innoculate", "Rabbit punch", "Aqueous Humour", "Hastiness" and the previously-mentioned "Cone of Annoyance".
It's technically impossible to grade this game on gameplay, since it has none. It's also impossible to grade it on audio, as it's whatever music you happen to be playing at the time. It's also impossible to grade it on graphics, since there's nothing beyond the most basic of stat screens. It's in the same vein as the IRC game "IdleRPG", except the character action updates are extremely frequent so there's always something happening. Therefore, Progress Quest is the first game to ever earn my recommendation of "Get it" based on the fact that it has no gameplay, audio or graphics.
But let's face it, any game that features Were-Skeletons and Talking Pony Robot Monks deserves looking at. For that same reason, the person who thought this game up also needs looking at.
Verdict: Download it (It's free)