Okay, so hi, I don't like posting in these kinds of threads but I really don't have too many places to turn to because it's a secret played pretty close to the heart (and yes for some insane reason I decide to post it on a public forum on the internet on my extremely well known username among my peers).
A few things about myself, I'm currently a 16 year old turning 17 in a month or so, I haven't been in too many relationships and never been all that good dealing with feelings (one of the reasons I'm here) and I'm currently in year 10 of senior school living as an immigrant in Australia.
So here's my story; Basically I befriended this girl about a year ago, we started talking on Facebook, more and more reguraly and quickly became close friends.
A few months later, I began to start having feelings for her but I was always in denial about it and would never admit it, even to myself.
Things went on like this for a while, though we hardly ever talked in person, we always ended up talking for hours on end becoming pretty good friends towards the end of the year.
At the end of the school year, me and some friends volunteered to help around the school, do physical labor and such, paint, clean up mulch, clear the gutters and such, that kinda work, she was among that group.
At some point her and I had to spend an entire day together, just the two of us, we had a lot of fun but I came to a realization that we'd always be friends, no matter what; at this point I was still in denial about having feelings for her.
Then came the school holidays, the part where everything in my life went insane.
Her, me and 2 other male friends hung out together every single day for 6 weeks, we did everything together and just mucked around having fun best we could.
About 2 weeks in, she started dating one of the guys, somewhat of a douche in my opinion but whatever, he was still a good friend of mine.
They dated for the rest of the holidays and a lot of the time were very physical even while me and the other bloke were there, they hooked up right in front of us and still being in denial of having feelings for her, I would always feel like crap but never know why.
The second half of the holidays, me and her started to get real close, like brother and sister.
But there was a downside, due to troubles at home (dad was threatening to leave home and was blaming me for his failing marriage) and finally getting homesick (I'm an immigrant) I slipped into a depression, coming to the point where I nearly pulled the plug on myself, I became healthy a few months later but the girl was partly a contribution to all of this and its not something I'd want to go through again.
Now here's the dodgy part, about 3 months later, we were still growing closer but at some point, (at this point I admitted I had feelings for her) I started hanging around her more and more, and eventually she got sick of it and we had a falling out for a few weeks, she apologized and we continued from where we stopped.
And now we're here, she's my best friend and I'm hers but I still have feelings for her, I'm always thinking about her and worried that about the relationship we have, in the end, I always end up feeling like crap over it.
So basically in the end I'm asking, how can I get over her and stop obsessing over it?
And please don't suggest to tell her how I feel or try to have a relationship with her, because under no condition ever would I want that.
TL;DR I'm in love and obsessing over my best friend, it's caused me some serious problems, I don't want a relationship with her, how can i get over her and stop obsessing?
A few things about myself, I'm currently a 16 year old turning 17 in a month or so, I haven't been in too many relationships and never been all that good dealing with feelings (one of the reasons I'm here) and I'm currently in year 10 of senior school living as an immigrant in Australia.
So here's my story; Basically I befriended this girl about a year ago, we started talking on Facebook, more and more reguraly and quickly became close friends.
A few months later, I began to start having feelings for her but I was always in denial about it and would never admit it, even to myself.
Things went on like this for a while, though we hardly ever talked in person, we always ended up talking for hours on end becoming pretty good friends towards the end of the year.
At the end of the school year, me and some friends volunteered to help around the school, do physical labor and such, paint, clean up mulch, clear the gutters and such, that kinda work, she was among that group.
At some point her and I had to spend an entire day together, just the two of us, we had a lot of fun but I came to a realization that we'd always be friends, no matter what; at this point I was still in denial about having feelings for her.
Then came the school holidays, the part where everything in my life went insane.
Her, me and 2 other male friends hung out together every single day for 6 weeks, we did everything together and just mucked around having fun best we could.
About 2 weeks in, she started dating one of the guys, somewhat of a douche in my opinion but whatever, he was still a good friend of mine.
They dated for the rest of the holidays and a lot of the time were very physical even while me and the other bloke were there, they hooked up right in front of us and still being in denial of having feelings for her, I would always feel like crap but never know why.
The second half of the holidays, me and her started to get real close, like brother and sister.
But there was a downside, due to troubles at home (dad was threatening to leave home and was blaming me for his failing marriage) and finally getting homesick (I'm an immigrant) I slipped into a depression, coming to the point where I nearly pulled the plug on myself, I became healthy a few months later but the girl was partly a contribution to all of this and its not something I'd want to go through again.
Now here's the dodgy part, about 3 months later, we were still growing closer but at some point, (at this point I admitted I had feelings for her) I started hanging around her more and more, and eventually she got sick of it and we had a falling out for a few weeks, she apologized and we continued from where we stopped.
And now we're here, she's my best friend and I'm hers but I still have feelings for her, I'm always thinking about her and worried that about the relationship we have, in the end, I always end up feeling like crap over it.
So basically in the end I'm asking, how can I get over her and stop obsessing over it?
And please don't suggest to tell her how I feel or try to have a relationship with her, because under no condition ever would I want that.
TL;DR I'm in love and obsessing over my best friend, it's caused me some serious problems, I don't want a relationship with her, how can i get over her and stop obsessing?
