Breaking the Ice with that Certain Someone

[triggrhappy94]

So, I'm normally a pretty shy person, slow to warm up to people. As you can imagine breaking the ice with new people, especially people I'm interested in doesn't come easily. I try though. So, I made this thread for people like me who need help, and for people to share their strategies and stories when "can I buy you a drink" (or things like that) aren't appropriate.

One thing I've used before was "Do you have 'X' for 'Y'" (X= teacher name, Y= subject). If yes, then "Oh do know what the homework is?" (I normally already know what the homework is). If no, then something allong the lines of "Oh I was going to ask you what the homework was". From there I make a transition to a normal conversation.
I know it's pretty stupid.

 

[mParadox]

Spoiler: Breaking the ice.

*ahem* Now to more seriousness, the subtle tactics work. Start small. Ask for a pencil. No seriously, do it. It works. Through this seemingly simple action, you'd have managed to grab a tiny percentage of attention of that someone. And working on this, you'd soon be having casual hellos and then... BAM. Normal conversations ahoy.

Out of workplace, asking for a drink, it is a tad direct no? Good for confidence but only if it succeeds. Better option is to probably ask the most basic question. What's their favourite cartoon? You'd be surprised how many times that works. This also suffices in a work place environment. :3

 

[Ectoplasmicz]

Spoiler: Breaking the ice.

*ahem* Now to more seriousness, the subtle tactics work. Start small. Ask for a pencil. No seriously, do it. It works. Through this seemingly simple action, you'd have managed to get a tiny percentage of that someone. And working on this, you'd soon be having casual hellos and then... BAM. Normal conversations ahoy.

Out of workplace, asking for a drink, it is a tad direct no? Good for confidence but only if it succeeds. Better option is to probably ask the most basic question. What's their favourite cartoon? You'd be surprised how many times that works. This also suffices in a work place environment. :3

100% agree with this. start out small! A simple exchange of words is enough to have permanently etched yourself into that persons mind. Soon small talk turns into conversation and bam you have a good friend!

For some reason which ive never worked out, i have a knack of being likeable, and seem to make good friends really easily. Its odd, but im not gonna complain.

So yeah, start out small, and build on that

 

[RhombusHatesYou]

I use an icepick. Very effective.

 

[DustyDrB]

I'd never say "Do you has" for a start

Maybe he's going for the pity angle?

 

[triggrhappy94]

I'd never say "Do you has" for a start

Oh shit, oops. My bad. And I thought I was getting better at proof reading my posts.

 

[triggrhappy94]

Spoiler: Breaking the ice.

Well, I actually prefer the Norwegian method

 

[ShadowsofHope]

Well you see, you start by acquiring an ice pick, and then you aim down at the ice you are attempting to break in a show of strength to gain favor with this "certain someone".. before casually using the blunt end of said pick to knock them out so you can carry them back to your den for some-

Oh, that type of "breaking the ice".. *Ahem*

Try to find something you have in common and bring it up. You can create small sessions of conversation and try to keep them going. If you get good vibes from the small conversations in passing, try to ask about her/him. People like to talk about themselves and their interests if you ask and look genuinely interested.

GL!

This person would have the general idea for you.

 

[WolfThomas]

Well, I actually prefer the Norwegian method

Nords had 100% Frost Resistance in Morrowind, plus 50% Shock Resistance it was pretty ridiculous in retrospect.

 

[JDC1185]

On this topic, I think eye contact is one of the most important things. If you can hold eye contact with someone, you're more likely to think about what you might like to say to them and what they might want to hear. That, and body movement. Try to create an impression of what you're saying with your hands. I don't know. I am pretty outgoing. However, I had to battle to become outgoing, and was initially quite shy. Having something unique on you as a talking point is never bad!

 

[JoesshittyOs]

Oh Jesus, I haven't hit on anybody in months.

Ehh... My strategy is to normally find people who know them, and rely on them to introduce me. But the trick is to not ask for me to be introduced.

Let's see, the last girl I had a relationship with involved her kind of merging in with a group of friends that I constantly hung out with. We ended up having the same math class, and we were both terrible at it (first time I've ever been thankful I sucked at math). We ended up talking about a test, she told me she was positive she was gonna fail, and I told her something along the lines of "I'm gonna do better than you".

I promise you it was appropriate and hilarious at the time. Next step was to slowly widdle my way into a relationship for the next 6 months.

It was exhausting.

Yeah, probably not the best person to ask this. Something I've been needing to work on myself.

 

[manic_depressive13]

I don't understand the anxiety surrounding "breaking the ice" with someone you like. If you've never spoken to them before how do you know you like them? If you've spoken at least once you're technically acquaintances and there's nothing very strange about saying "hi" and striking up another conversation.

I don't know why anyone would want to find some contrived excuse to talk to someone. It's bad enough that it's occasionally necessary to talk to other people without deliberately bringing it upon yourself.

 

[tombman888]

Funny story: the first day i met my current girlfriend was in the first week of year 7 at school. I remember her and her friend going around asking random strangers 'Hi, wanna be best friends" In an awfully cheerful mood. My instant reaction was a, sort of sarcastic "Sure, why not".

From then, we talked more and more, until our friend groups sort of, joined up. 1 and 3/4 years later, i finally mustered the courage to admit my feelings to her (And god was it woeful, i still regret waiting so long and admitting it so.... loss of words here. but it was bad!)

Now, 3 and a bit years later, we're still together and i'm glad i told her how i felt.


OT: um... try with just saying hi, or asking for a small favor like others have been mentioning (Borrowing a pencil and such) The more you talk and interact with a person, the more and more so it will happen.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

I don't think I've ever had to. Like most people, I formed close relationships with the people who are around me. My family, my colleagues...people who frequent the business where I work.

I've never gone up to strangers with an agenda. I am just open and friendly with the people who happen to be around me.

 

[Dectomax]

Ah, breaking the ice...I find it hard to do aswell - It's more the fact that I don't know the person and therefore have no idea what to talk about/ask most of the time.

For instance - There was a fairly attractive girl at McDonalds ( I know...best girl hunting grounds much? ) who was working on the till and served me. I smiled, asked for me order and waited, she served the next person and continued to glance/smile at me ( Devilishly handsome as I am ) and for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything to say. So I continued to lean on the wall and wait for my order, when it finally came I gave my usual reply. "Thank you, have a good day/evening/night" and smiled at her again.

Sometimes just a smile can get you talking to someone, or atleast get them to approach you. Currently, I'm headbutting every wall in the house for not asking her name...I may just have to go and get another order...