CitySquirrel said:
once again, talk about double standards
Yeah, the double standard is part of the problem.
But, while Joss (& co) may have
wanted to subvert some stereotypes - and they definitely did - they did reinforce some others. I think the fact that they had previous avoided and subverted a few tropes is what is so disappointing (for me) when they play the "gays are broken" one straight.
For want of a better phrase.
It's an untidy metaphor because it's two metaphors - in the first place magic is a metaphor for their relationship (and it doesn't matter that it's magic; in older media (with heterosexual teens) it would have been sport, or reading or something). In the second instance magic is used as a metaphor for drug addiction.
This creates an unfortunate association - the same activity is deliberately connected as two separate metaphors, one of which is very dark; does that mean the intent is for both activities to be dark? Probably not - but the connection is there. It's clumsy - that's pretty much my point, there (I'm not trying to ram my point home and sticking my fingers in my ears (la la la), I just wasn't sure I'd made it clearly enough - I think that's as clear as I'm going to get now, though...)
If you don't agree that at one point magic was metaphorical lesbianism (and I can see why you & several other people don't), then you're obviously not going to see anything of the sort.
(As a side point, there's no way they could have had Willow go back to men; the writers would have been lynched..!)
I also want to address your interpretation of the situation with Angel. You could look at it as a punishment for having sex. Or you could look at it as "sex changes the relationship" or "people can change after sex" or "sex can have negative consequences"... the last being less a morality play than an after school special.
You can definitely make a case for all of those - and they can even co-exist. It's the severity of Buffy's 'punishment' which makes me think most of the 'virgins prosper' horror trope.
As you said, it's one interpretation amongst many.
I think there is a strong argument for Buffy subverting many traditional archetypes, not reinforcing them.
In a lot of cases (most obvious being the title character), across the whole series, very much so.
I'll also add that I don't necessarily think clichés always need to be subverted - they generally exist because they're useful storytelling tools. It's just some of the old fashioned stereotypey ones that are best forgotten about or replaced.