Bullies

[Soviet Steve]

I really, REALLY, dont like bullies.

I think you will be hard pressed to find reasonable people who do.

Have you ever been bullied? how did it shape you as a person?

I have aspergers so that was pretty much inevitable. Unfortunately I live in a country where pacifist and positive Christianity formed the outlook of the authorities and my parents so for the first years the "Don't fight" thing was pretty ingrained. People would push and I would just have to fold.

Later on as I started reading through history and noting with interest the untold history of the church I began questioning it, and the values it'd tried to instil with it. I think I was around twelve when I first retaliated. I wasn't bullied after that, so I guess the answer is violence.

How did it shape me as a person? I've come to expect the worst from Danes, and I'm correct most of the time. I moved with my parents across the country after I was done with regular school and began college, I haven't bothered integrating myself into this community because its a temporary measure. Graduating this summer and I can finally start living.

I try to be pragmatic and forward thinking, and I'm not that concerned about other peoples feelings unless they matter to me.

 

[Aprilgold]

Why are these so many threads on Escapist about bullies?

Because bullying is suddenly some super huge problem that definitely hasn't been around since the dawn of time. And apparently, just giving someone a dirty look makes you a bully.

It's a good thing bullies didn't exist when I was growing up. You know, before the internet was this big thing that caused every tiny problem to be blown way out of proportion. I don't know how we would have survived.

Its a very hot button topic because someone made a post a while back about how bullies were people and many people flipped out. And yes, its still a issue. Does anyone remember the kid who stabbed a kid who was going to physically assault him 11 times. Or the school district that had something like 5 kids commit suicide due to heavy bullying to LGBT members. Then we had a proud member of the 'It Gets Better' commit suicide earlier this year. My point is that there are tons of examples of it being a bad thing, and shouldn't be dropped because its been around for so long.

We shouldn't feel bad about war because its been around forever. We shouldn't be helping those with diseases since they have been around for so long. If a problem has been consistent throughout history it is still a problem.

Because throwing hate at them from behind a computer screen is going to do something about them?

Well at least they aren't systematically hunting down their child hood torturers and killing them. So isn't this a better alternative?

To answer OP. I was bullied for about 4 years from the age of 8 to 12 or so. Mainly verbal but they did try to hit me several times, I very much flinch whenever it happened, they never wanted to bruise me so I would have no proof of what they were doing. Never bothered anyone with what was happening because I mainly hated to bother my parents with any problems of mine, they were already busy with work.

I had a asshole brother that would yell at me for messing something up even in the slightest. So I spent about 8 hours a day in school, 8 hours asleep, and then 5 hours either being yelled at by my brother or doing school work.

I eventually cracked and learned how to tie a hangmans noose, which was rather interesting. Failed to hang myself several times and walked myself out of deep depression which probably hurt myself more then anything else.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

Unfortunately I am unphased by many things in life... I see the good in almost all situations... I got into a lot of fights in school, and I can say that due to my positive demeanor I never started any of them... unfortunately I am also not one to run away, or back down in that kind of scenario, especially if I am defending a freind. I have a slightly psychotic anger streak that kicks in in that kind of scenario, and I will st least get a few blows in before the fight is over... All fights I have ever been in were broken up, I have never been beaten up, and I have never beaten anyone else up, I have just thrown and recerived a few punches etc.

There was a lot of name calling too, as well as fights... but to be honest it never really bothered me... Years after some freinds and I were talking about the past, and being at school, and they thought that I was bullied at school, even though I never saw it myself!

I used to fly into rages when I got angry... and it was difficult to control, it resulted in things being broken, and on rare occasions I would get hurt... Being sent into those situations at school helped me realise that I needed to control them, and I had plenty of chances to try. Now I can control them well... I can use the strengths that come with rage to my advantage, but I will no longer lash out at random objects, or shout incredibly hurtfull things at people... it all good!

 

[-Samurai-]

Why are these so many threads on Escapist about bullies?

Because bullying is suddenly some super huge problem that definitely hasn't been around since the dawn of time. And apparently, just giving someone a dirty look makes you a bully.

It's a good thing bullies didn't exist when I was growing up. You know, before the internet was this big thing that caused every tiny problem to be blown way out of proportion. I don't know how we would have survived.

Its a very hot button topic because someone made a post a while back about how bullies were people and many people flipped out. And yes, its still a issue. Does anyone remember the kid who stabbed a kid who was going to physically assault him 11 times. Or the school district that had something like 5 kids commit suicide due to heavy bullying to LGBT members. Then we had a proud member of the 'It Gets Better' commit suicide earlier this year. My point is that there are tons of examples of it being a bad thing, and shouldn't be dropped because its been around for so long.

We shouldn't feel bad about war because its been around forever. We shouldn't be helping those with diseases since they have been around for so long. If a problem has been consistent throughout history it is still a problem.

I'm starting to wonder if someone changed the meaning of some words while I wasn't looking. Where do people keep reading that I said that it should be ignored because it has been happening forever? I'll show you where; Nowhere.(Don't take "you" personally. It's more of a collective "you".)

The point is to answer the question that I quoted. One that everyone conveniently forgets to read.

Why do bully topics keep sprouting up in media and on this site? Because society likes to ***** and turn molehills into mountains.

Bullying a problem? Sure, for some. Bullying a new epidemic that came from out of the blue? Not a chance. It's a flavor of the month. Like Pokemon, yoyos, and Tech Decks.

Suddenly our society(thanks to media and the internet) treats every problem or incident like it's the most important thing in the world, when it's really no more important than it was 15 years ago. A kid getting bullied used to be a cause for minor concern. Now suddenly it's a travesty. Bullies aren't misunderstood or misguided anymore. They're terrorists.

Honestly, I think our society needs to toughen up and get out of this "Won't somebody think of the children?!" state. Sadly, it won't happen for quite a long time.

The current generation of kids, while annoying now, will know that you handle these problems by caring about them for starters*, then following up with reports of kids being bullied, and instilling and following through with harsh punishments for bullies and the like.

*Let's face it. The current people that have the power to help prevent things from happening don't care, because they went through it without help, and expect todays youth to do the same. It's just like the SOPA thing. The ones in charge aren't entirely educated on the problem, and wouldn't know how to fix it.

 

[Jedamethis]

Never been bullied. Short, nerdy, clever, obedient, and somehow I was accepted. Hooray!
Whenever I feel down I try and remember that no matter how many people might give me shit, I have not and never will be picked on.

I'm ashamed to say that I might have accidentally bullied someone. I and some friends made jokes about a guy fairly often, but I hope they weren't offensive and he doesn't care...

 

[esperandote]

Why are these so many threads on Escapist about bullies?

Because Zangief kid...

That incident + social networks + news stations paying interest had grown-ups talking about bullying and give it a lot of importance and that makes young people to talk about it too.

 

[Zyntoxic]

I have been bullied most of my days in school, but during a few years after I switched schools it happend in my neighbourhood instead.
and when I got to high school and met completely different people it all began anew, but this time I had some friends to help me through it, so I managed.

the worst part was between when I was 10 to when I was 15.
during this time I was laughed at, spat at and punched at, and at one point I had to be brought to the hospital with an ambulance because of a very serious asthma episode cause by one kid blowing cigarette smoke down my throat.

I never tried o kill my self, thought I did consider it.
the bullying has left me pretty awkward around new people, I can't relax around them because of fear.

but I think it has also made me a more caring and respectful person, because I don't assume things about people before knowing them

 

[Yopaz]

I've been bullied and it has made me less short tempered for the positive thing. On the negative thing I don't seek contact with people because I don't trust anyone. I doubt I will ever be able to stay in a long term relationship because I have problems understanding social situations and I am suspicious when anyone is interested in me. Although with the personality I have adopted I don't see the bad thing of not wanting a relationship so at least my personality and social issues agree.

Because throwing hate at them from behind a computer screen is going to do something about them?

Because discussing your problems and letting it out is better than hiding it from everyone and bottling it up.

 

[dyre]

Because throwing hate at them from behind a computer screen is going to do something about them?

Well at least they aren't systematically hunting down their child hood torturers and killing them. So isn't this a better alternative?

A bit of a false dilemma, but I suppose if I was forced between either complaining or murdering, yeah, I'd choose the former?

 

[dyre]

Why are these so many threads on Escapist about bullies?

Because bullying is suddenly some super huge problem that definitely hasn't been around since the dawn of time. And apparently, just giving someone a dirty look makes you a bully.

It's a good thing bullies didn't exist when I was growing up. You know, before the internet was this big thing that caused every tiny problem to be blown way out of proportion. I don't know how we would have survived.

I mean they were simply having some fun, there are almost no bullies whatsoever and you know, those who did bully arent such a big deal and we should do nothing about them because they have been there for like the longest time.

*Oh look at me, im so tough because I can prance around people who got bullied and feel bad about it and act as though I dont care so im totally really tough, can you see how tough I am?*

If I could accurately draw you a picture of the very wide margin by which you missed my point, I would. But I can't.

I'll just let you look like an ass instead. Keep working on those reading comprehension skills.

And for the love of god, don't type out some big post about how you were bullied or your friend took their own life because of a bully, and your heart bleeds for all those in a situation similar to yours.

I'll be honest man, your post was confusing for me too. Weird mix of sarcastic comments and serious comments at the same time

 

[lemby117]

I was bullied allot from years 7 - 9 and am now nearly halfway through year 10 at a new school with only 200 people. My self confidence is improving and I recently went to a party for the first time. Bullying ruined me emotionally, it made me cynical and depressed but strengthened my belief in morals, It also lead to me getting better grades as I found solace in my work and found something that I could excel at. Now I carry an enjoyment of academic subjects and a renewed self confidence.

TLDR: It fucked me up, but I am getting better at a new school

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Luckily, I haven't been bullied in school. I'm the ideal candidate for it (funny looking, slightly overweight, terrible depth perception, nerdy, somewhat awkward around new people, especially girls). My school is on the small side (around 400 kids total) so everyone in each grade knows each other, and that seems to reduce bullying. I'm also really nice to everybody, so I guess that makes them nicer back.

 

[MaxiP62]

I'm currently in Year 10 at school, and in some ways you could say I get bullied, in other ways you could say I joke with everyone. People make fun of me, I make fun of them, everyone has a great laugh. In fact, I would say that is how I manage to get on with people. I don't know.

 

[George Barrow]

Well I was bullied a fuck ton, I had 7 pairs of glasses broken throughout primary school. (thank god for the NHS.), I was, and still am, the big guy, but I was also very clumsy and not too agile, this made me a constant target for bullies. I never really had a friend through out all of it, the one that I did have changed and bullied me the hardest. But I did as you did, I got angry. One time, the bullies came up to me in the toilets and pushed me against the wall, the next thing I know i am in the principals office because I smashed all their heads into the walls.

After that I was still bullied but to a lesser degree but it has wrecked my social skill for life, I find it hard talking to anyone, and since I was also bullied by girls talking to them is just a no-no, but at the end of it all I think I came out of it a better man, because through it I found intelligence and books, realising I was better than all of them, which I am now because one of them is in prison for the whole London riots thing.

So in conclusion:
Yeah, life sucked, but in the end it is he who has the last laugh that wins.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

It used to be one kid who hit me in primary school but now I just get the laughter... Now anywhere I am if I hear laughing I always think its at me. Not as bad as a lot of people but still not nice to have. I also avoid giving answers and stuff in class because I don't like being noticed.
I snapped once. Punched the kid that always bullied me in the face once. I hit the kid who bullied me in the face once. He started the violence but because I hurt him more I got into trouble. They wonder why nobody ever goes to the teachers.

 

[Dr. Pepper Unlimited]

I've never been bullied, so I feel like the minority in this thread. I've seen it countless times growing up, but I was never the direct victim of anything. I guess because I had a social circle with just about everyone, so I had friends everywhere growing up.

 

[Fishyash]

I think my dad was bullied when he was a kid, and he learned to run, rather than to fight. He is over 60 now though, so I don't think it still applies now.

I was picked on a few times at school, but I easily maintained a facade of peace and harmony throughout my childhood. I'm not bitter at all, but it probably did something to my self esteem. I don't really think there was one or two people bullying me. Just people complaining that I talk too much, which... at certain points, I run my mouth for a very long time.

High school was great though, the suffering was a definite minimum. It was a very small (I think it was like 200 students) private school... although it was filled with people with ADD, ADHD, autism etc.. Note that it meant there were lots of jerks there though...

I know bullies can do better than what they are doing though. When I see a bully I feel nothing but pity. If only they actually had a shred of emotional intelligence.

 

[natster43]

Well I was bullied for pretty much all of middle school, pretty much all verbally. I didn't make many friends during those years. Luckily for me it all ended in high school. I am pretty sure it is why I am terrified of being social and doing stuff with people I don't really know that well just because I think if I will just be rejected and ostracized again. I know I didn't have it extremely bad, but still it did effect me.

 

[PurpleLeafRave]

I feel Shinedown is appropriate.
You've always got people who have got your back against bullies. Bullies are outnumbered.

 

[waj9876]

I was bullied for about a year. Kind of bullied. One school I went to when I was about eight or ten had a group of people who would, while on recess, smack me in the back of the head and then run. I had a very bad temper around that time (I still have a temper, but it's mostly in control.) and so I would ALWAYS chase after and either push them into the pavement, or assault them. Always ended with me in trouble, and the other kids off scott free. The adults other than my guardians didn't care. I was a very stupid kid at the time. I couldn't retaliate with words because I didn't know what to say in response or defense of myself.

I got what I consider justice recently though. I met the guy who first thought to do that to me again, he hadn't changed in the slightest. In fact, he was probably WORSE. First thing he does when he realizes it's me? Make fun of me, insult me, and challenge my mental abilities by calling me retarded, a ******, and all manner of insults.

Now how did I get justice from this situation you may be asking? You see, he had a girlfriend, who thought he was nice, sweet, and a caring guy. I just led him to her, insulting him all the way. Feigning anger to keep him interested. She saw what he was really like, and I then proceeded to lay a verbal beat down on him. Showing that I've grown out of being a "Retarded piece of shit." as he put it.

Now those of you reading this who are genre savvy would assume I then got together with the girl. You would be wrong. As that shit doesn't happen in real life. I don't know what happened after that, as I just left and never saw him again.