Bullying, is it a major problem?

[afroebob]

Just so everyone knows, this is a question for the younger crowd, people who have been in middleschool or highschool in the last 5 or 6 years. If you still want to voice an opinion on bullying from a moral perspective, go for it. Just don't try to say whether its a widespread problem without recent experience.

Now, back on target. I'm 17. I'm a junior in highschool. I'm pretty outspoken but not offensive or aggressive. I like debates (not arguments, however. Arguing is really about as pointless as an activity could get). I like making people laugh. I obviously love games, why else would I be on The Escapist? Well, they do have some movie stuff, too but that's really off topic. What I'm trying to say is the way I am is pretty accepted with my piers. I'm not calling myself the coolest kid in school, I'm not calling myself the most awesome guy around. I'm just saying their really aren't that many people who truly despise me.

So, for me, bullying isn't really a problem. It never really has been, the only time being for about 4 months back in 6th grade a guy named Shawnsie (I'm trying to spell that right but considering I know I butchered it its pretty much a combination of the names Shawn and Nancy). I wasn't really singled out, he made fun of a lot of people and he moved pretty soon (I can only assume to a shit neighborhood, shithead lazy unmotivated asshole usually drops from a lazy unmotivated asshole tree). So I really don't consider that to be anything major, especially because I can at least take comfort in knowing he probably get the shit made fun of him the next few years for just because of his name (JUST KIDDING! Don't take that to heart peeps, just makin' a joke).

Middle School I kind of felt a little disliked by some people but not to a point where it bothered me. I still always had friends and its probably more teenage insecurity than anything than my kids actually hating me. Now that I'm in highschool people for the most part genuinely like me. I make a lot of people laugh, I bring up a lot of good discussion, etc. Like I said before I'm not the most popular guy at school and not everyone likes me (although most people who dislike me only do because I don't like Call of Duty anymore, but if someone is that shallow than I don't want to even be within 20 feet of them. Seriously, a kid literally called me a ****** for not liking a game.)but I think I fit in pretty well. I never deal with bullies and I can think of maybe 5 times anyone has ever made fun of me to my face. I've been in one fight in my life that was with a kid that I haven't gotten along with since kindergarten. I think I have it pretty good. So when I hear about bullying being an epidemic in schools by a lot of adults I think 'What the Hell are they talking about?'.

Even kids who aren't really liked in my school don't get bullied.I can't even think of a time I saw someone get TRULY bullied in school, not even once. I am not trying to dismiss the effects bullying can have on someone's mental state and I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I don't think its a big problem anymore (or even if it was ever a problem at all). I still think bullying is despicable and that people who do it are some of the worst people alive but I just don't see it as a big problem. Its like if we still made a big deal over Nazis. Yes, their are Nazis in the world today and they are horrible horrible people who do horrible horrible things. But because they are so small in numbers they aren't that big of a problem anymore. And I don't think bullying is either, but the problem is I have gone to one elementary school, one middle school and one highschool. I have spent my whole life in one community. I haven't seen much of the other schools outside the ones in my community so I could be dead wrong. It could be bad in other schools, maybe their are a LOT of schools where bullies run rampant.

So that's what I'm asking you guys. Although bullying exists (Hell, I see it here on the Escapist and really everywhere on the internet quite frequently, but I don't think anyone takes what some ignorant prick on the internet says to heart), is it a major problem? Is it something that is widespread across schools? Also, this doesn't have to be about whether you where bullied or not. Did you see a lot of people get bullied? Did someone ever try to bully you? Did you ever bully someone else? Anything that has to do with bullying really.

For all you TLDR people, do you think that bullying is still a major problem in schools or do you think that its something that doesn't really happen much anymore. I would like it if you read the full post but I can't blame you if you don't, I did get a little ramble-y with my own personal experiences.

Thanks to everyone who posts and for the maybe 4 people who where wondering what made me think of this is the controversy around the new movie 'Bully'.

 

[DoPo]

First of all, that post is really hard to read. Try using more white space. And keep it concise and to the point. It would increase readability a lot.

OT:

Although bullying exists, is it a major problem?

Depending on where you are it could be a major or not so major problem. But a problem nonetheless.

Is it something that is widespread across schools?

Again, it depends where you are. But yes, it is widespread across schools. Mainly because it's treated as harassment and abuse outside of them.

Did you see a lot of people get bullied?

A lot - no, I haven't seen a lot people bullied. I have seen more than enough people bullied. I've seen bullies but I haven't tracked every movement of theirs to keep a tab on exactly how many people they pick on.

Did someone ever try to bully you?

Some have tried. Unsuccessfully, however. See, it's intimidating of you threaten people with a stick. It's also intimidating if that one of these people is twice as big as you and snaps the stick in half. I'm not bragging, but that did happen once.

Did you ever bully someone else?

Well, yes, I have to admit I did. However, I still maintain that the guy is annoying and worthless. Also it wasn't systematic constant harassment.

 

[mattttherman3]

It is a problem, it has become bigger with the added use of social media, but otherwise pretty much the same as it has always been, just more media coverage. Pretty much the only way to deal with bullying is to stand up for yourself, I was bullied in HS, but once I clocked the guy, he never bothered me again. Also, when I was kind of a bully, when someone stood up to me, I generally stopped permanently as well.

 

[DANEgerous]

I was bullied very heavily, to be honest i find the whole problem that we want to make it a criminal offense absolutely absurd while on the other hand i find the fact a kid get beat up or has something stolen an we attribute this to "bullying" i am sorry but no that is not "bullying" physical harm is assault and theft is well theft, they are crimes. This is important to note as by bullying i mean metal abuse verbal or over the web not theft not assault.

When i was bullied i simply put on my headphones (which was totally against school policies... the again so was insulting people) I would ignore every thing thay said an gaze directly at them very stoic, they got more an more angry and it ended one of 3 ways most common was the bell rang we left, next they stopped at time looking fairly disturbed or defeated and third happen 3 times physical violence (Assault) two times the person got in one blow then was swiftly taken out by a third party the third time i was hit several times even has staples snapped into my arms, I snapped i went mad with laughter grabbed the stapler an slammed it into my own arm 17 times, it was at this time a teacher ran in i then stood over my shocked attacker flicked the staple out of my arm and sated the following. You can not hurt me, i do not eve acknowledge the fact that you exist, you are simply not worth the effort. a few seconds later he attempted to attack again but again was stopped by my friends. I calmly sat down and ask the teacher "what? you are just going to fucking sit there? i have 23 witnesses they will all say he attacked. Get him out or we can set a court date" this is all i asked to never be in the same class a these students (him an the other two that had attacked) still i wish i took them to court.

In a nut shell do i think verbal harassment is a problem? No. The problem is kids have no idea how to respond to such an act. Are physical attacks a problem? Yes, the are literally ILLEGAL an far more than bullying

 

[z121231211]

Yes bullying is a problem, but we're trying to solve it the wrong way. The reason bullies keep bullying is because they get away with it, not because the punishment is not severe enough. But we're treating it like how the music industry treats online piracy by making the bullies that do get caught get as large a punishment as possible.

 

[orangeban]

I think that bullying is a serious problem. I've known people who have moved school to escape bullying, and you hear of people who have killed themselves because of bullying.

Though I've not experienced much bullying. I live in a very... secluded middle-class town and go to a private school, so I'm pretty privileged in that regard. I've not seen much bullying, even the stuff I've seen wasn't too bad (casual jibes, not direct and consistent harassment).

It also probably helps me that I've probably managed to put off potential bullies, partly by befriending someone seen as "cool", and partly by giving off the message that I might not be the most sane person. I mean, I'm not crazy, but I did have a major meltdown in the middle of the playground (this was several years back, when I was still in a year low enough to have a playground) which made several assholes conclude that I'm probably not worth bothering with, in case I stabbed them in the eye or killed myself or something drastic like that.

Though I'll be honest, I think if the kids at school knew more about me (that I'm a suicidal asexual transwoman) then I'd probably be bullied more. One of the downsides of going to a conservative private school in a conservative middle class town is that they're not very tolerant.

Anyway, back to the point at hand. How much bullying you see and experience is based a lot on your background. The most obvious is probably your class and social background, I'd wager that the worse and poorer your school, the more likely you are to get bullying. It also depends on the culture around your school probably (a really macho school that's very big on sports and competitiveness might have more bullying) and if you're part of any minorities (being gay springs to mind as the obvious example).

Oh, and finally, did I bully anyone? I'm ashamed to admit yes, but it was more mutual bullying really. We both picked on each other, and both thought we were the real victim. We both grew up though.

 

[Random Fella]

Well, it is a serious problem
It does effect people emotionally very much, but I also think a little bit of it is good
It builds character I find, as in it teaches you to have more respect for others (E.g. Treat others how you wish to be treated)
But the amount of bullying some receive is just unfair and does have serious effect on them in the long term, that kind of constant torment and harassment is good for nothing and should be stopped.
But alas, bullying will always occur, as long as there are children who are different in any way (Kids are pretty good at picking out minor differences in traits mind you) bullying will not stop.

 

[Forgetitnow344]

It depends on where you live, honestly. I live in North San Diego County, and bullying is practically non-existent. At least for impersonal reasons such as having big stupid glasses or being a pizza face. All the fighting and bullying in my school was related to race and personal issues. But everyone had friends and there was no baseless discrimination. It took me until my senior year to realize that I was in the "loser" clique.

I dunno, it's like everyone had their own qualities that others valued, and if you didn't know someone, you just treated them like another person and never paid them any bother.

High school was nice.

 

[Dtox333]

Yes, bullying is still a fairly major problem.

The reason you're not viewing it as much of an issue is because you just haven't had the type of exposure to it to really get the feeling of how big it actually is. You probably didn't have many unpopular opinions, social quirks, or generally things that made you stood out as a target. or perhaps you went to schools that resided in, for the most part, alright communities with fewer people having the need to target others.

for me, it's pretty different. Growing up for me, being slightly overweight and having a terrible lack in social skills due to my aspergers (which I later got help for in later years) I was made a target very often in my educational environment. I was picked on daily, my grades suffered, and it was just generally a miserable experience. Then in middle school, I went to a school meant for kids on the autism spectrum, and stayed in that school up until I graduated high school, all the while I learned proper social skills and excelled in advanced studies.

But I consider myself lucky, it was very fortunate of myself to have the opportunity to get into that school, where as there are many kids who don't get that opportunity, many of which suffer from even worse cases of aspergers than myself.

and that's just with autistic kids, that's not even considering the many kids who're targeted for their socially anomalies, such as being overweight, wearing glasses, being of a different color, being transgenered, being homosexual/some other sexuality, etc. this is all very much dependent on the location of the school, whether or not you're working with well off communities or places that are poor, and what kind of morals those communities hold, but it's still a significant occurrence.

Bullying is still a very big issue, don't make any mistake about it.

 

[him over there]

It has been more prevalent but it hasn't really gotten worse. I know people are going to bring up a bunch of things like stealing and getting the shit beat out of you and discrimination but that isn't bullying. That's theft, assault and discrimination.

Bullying is essentially people are dicks to you for a reason you don't understand because they are just jerks. It's walking by you and calling you a fuckface because you don't fit into a specific niche they've formed. Kids just have no idea how to handle verbal attacks anymore, just don't give a fuck.

Mind over matter, it really don't matter if the streets idle chatter turns your heartstrings to tatters.

 

[afroebob]

A lot of people are interpteting this thread as 'Is bullying bad' and 'How bad are the effects of bullying' and that's not what this is about. Its about how existent is bullying in the modern world? I got a few good answers but its not what I'm really looking for. Not to try to be a jerk to everyone who posted, but I would like to see more posts focused on bullying and its existence in modern society.

 

[Heaven's Guardian]

Generally, no. In some specific cases, yes. I've said this before on these forums, but you aren't going to stop bullying because it's the natural way for people, children especially, to establish a social order. No matter what you do, it's going to happen. In really bad cases, there needs to be some method of intervention, but if you try to eliminate it with zero tolerance it's going to backfire, because the socially dominant people, who reasonably don't think that insulting someone is going to scar them for life, will end up resenting the target and find ways to take it out on them.

When it gets violent (and not "school policy" violent, actually violent) there needs to be a point where someone intervenes; same goes for legally defined harassment. Other than that, policies like mandatory non-athletic student clubs might help decrease the vehemence of the behavior, but anything more is counterproductive and will just push it into situations where authorities can't intervene.

 

[SwagLordYoloson]

Bullying is a tricky subject. First you can't just let someone get pushed around their entire life. But also if you send someone to stick up for them every time they get into trouble the kid will become reliant on a some third party to fight all of his battles. Really although it is hard to do, the best way to stop bullying is for the victim to stand up for themselves. Other than that not much else in terms of constructive policy can be adapted. Then they should fall back to the system they have in place today.

 

[NightHawk21]

It gets better as you get older, but I can tell you from my own personal experience that it sticks with you. Shit my life was miserable till I was bout 17 or 18 at which point it finally started turning around. Its still not perfect and nowhere near on par with what I think it should be, and I still feel the effects of it what almost 3 years later. I will say that I think I'm a completely different person than what I would've been given different circumstances.

 

[Pegghead]

As long as cases keep popping up of kids anywhere in the world being driven to suicide over it I'd say it's still a problem.

I was bullied quite a lot back in my first primary school, beaten, name-calling, exclusion and all other manner of nasty things. Considering I only left there in...2004 (I was in year 3) I'd say it's still a relevant topic, probably only made worse by things like Facebook.

I can happily say right now that I not only have many wonderful, true friends but that I also get along pretty well with just about everyone. On top of that I'm at a high-school with very little bullying (just the occasional asshole, and there was only one real "bully" I can recall back in year 7 whom...let's just say it's dealt with) but that's probably only because of sheer luck, as there are schools around where I live where kids have been fucking stabbed.

 

[crimsonshrouds]

I've got a second cousin who is getting bullied and i was bullied when i was in school.

The reason bullying is getting worse is because the kid who gets bullied have no way to fight back because if they do they will be the ones getting in trouble. So bullies never have a reason to stop.

This whole "lets stop bully" and "love our children" isn't doing anything. The underlying problem is the schools themselves but hey lets treat the symptoms which never go away.

 

[Astoria]

It is still a problem. I didn't see much bullying during my high school years but I did have one friend who was gay and a gothic and he never had a moment peace. The school never did anything to help him for some reason and that made him angry. I remember one day when he didn't want to go to class because he'd been getting teased all day so he stayed with me and my homegroup teacher yelled at him and said go to class anyway after he told her about being bullied. Eventually he just dropped out of school because he couldn't handle it anymore.

The problem is that not all bullies are that way for the same reason. Some are having home problems, some are victims of bulling themselves and then some are just jerks. In schools the problem is most teachers can't be bothered figuring out why the bulling is happening so they just ignore it until something like a fight happens and they have to step in.

 

[Risingblade]

Yup but it's hardly the worse problem in schools.

 

[afroebob]

You have to remember, not everyone is like you, everyone is different for a lot of different reasons. No two people are the same, people get bullied for different reasons, people are accepted for different reasons, the point is, we are all ... ¯\_(&#12484_/¯ snowflakes

Yes that's true, but like I said I never have seen anyone get truly bullied where I come from, even people who are polar opposites of me.

 

[afroebob]

Yes that's true, but like I said I never have seen anyone get truly bullied where I come from, even people who are polar opposites of me.

Also, no two places are exactly the same (except maybe the midwest), maybe you live in a place where bullying never happens, or you just dont notice it happening. People think that bullies just stop being bullies when they become adults, in reality, a lot of them stay that way forever. Fortunately in uni, most of them are too stupid to make it there anyway, and the ones that do are outnumbered 10 to 1. Also, that number drops to zero in grad school[/quote]

Which is exactly why I'm here. I want to know if this is still a major problem in other places. Most answers have just been 'If its happening its a problem'. Well, duh. Of course its a problem but just because it exists doesn't make it a major problem. A kid committing suicide because of bullying is a terrible thing, but it doesn't make it a major problem on the grand scale of things. I'm not trying to be a dick, but its not a major problem. A major problem is childhood obesity or the economic crisis. Call it insensitive but I don't see bullying as the major problem its made out to be, but I also admit I don't know if that's just my own experience. Maybe its worse than I thought but if most schools are like mine than its not a widespread problem its a very small problem and trying to handle it like its a big problem isn't helping. It would be like trying to fix a small hole in a wall by ripping it down and putting up a whole new one. Ya, it might get the job done but wouldn't it have been so much better if we just put a little spackle?