[HEADING=1]In the Loop[/HEADING]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ieUfAF_OXQ[/youtube]
I say this because I have worked a miracle.
My two regular readers will know that my weekly, apathetic debasements of the English language are only suitable for my particular audience - we're talking the lowest of the low here; Carrot Top fans, necrophiliacs and people who trade Pokemon cards. Real scum-of-the-earth types.
So when I tell you that I have managed to get my reviews published in work, you'll believe me when I say I am the basis for a new religion.
Joking aside, this means that from now on I will mostly be reviewing films. I may have time to do the occasional game, but honestly I'll be so busy editing my posts for content that I doubt I'll have time to even eat.
"A few ground rules, Dom - no drug references, no sex, and absolutely no swearing."
Well, with that in mind, I'm sure you'll understand my decision to give the asterisk key a good workout with the Brit comedy In the Loop.
Politics, it must be said, is not my bag. Mainly because I use phrases like "Politics, it's not my bag."
To be honest I don't even watch the news. I much prefer my information of current events to come via word of mouth, that way people will filter out all of the boring stuff for me and provide me with, as it were, the juice.
For example, I take it as a fact that George Bush used to demand a vial of virgin blood every day with his morning paper. Honest to god, I believe that. Stories take on a lot more flavour when people are allowed to add spice.
But that's the thing, any kind of political satire will always have a distinct taste, often due to the director's personal palette. It's a tightrope; if you go too far to reach your own ends you'll lose credibility, and if you don't go far enough your piece won't have any bite to it.
So director Armando Iannucci really had a hard job to avoid screwing the pooch when he agreed to loosely adapt his TV series The Thick of It into a motion picture.
Okay, wow, this introduction just isn't going to fly in work. Oh, you can go on and answer the poll now, I'm sure it makes a lot more sense. Anyway, welcome to my heavily edited review of In the Loop.
Repent ye sinners, the Church of Caffeine is now in session!
[HEADING=2]"If some c*nt can f*ck something up, that c*nt will pick the worst possible time to f*cking f*ck it up, because that c*nt's a c*nt."[/HEADING][small]Tucker's Law. Actually a quote from The Thick of It, but it certainly sets the tone.[/small]
Right from the off we are introduced to the Prime Minister's spin doctor Malcolm Tucker (Peter Capaldi).
Let's be clear here, Capaldi owns this film. Throughout he's a powerhouse of nihilistic fury, keeping the dogs of politics in line through intimidation, degradation and liberal sprinklings of profanity.
It's Tucker's job to keep the hapless MP Simon Foster (Tom Hollander) from tripping over his own tongue and declaring war somewhere in the middle east. Hollander gives a fittingly awkward performance as someone who is basically
Foster's staff, Toby (Chris Addison) and Judy (Gina McKee), try in vain to keep Foster out of trouble, and in doing so avoid Tucker's wrath. Judy is extremely good at her job but has poor people skills - Toby is great with people but is dangerously bad at his job. Between them they make one competent adult, and serve as the emotional anchors to the film since everyone can relate to at least half of them.
You can best describe the people here as charicatures. All of them have a distinct, exaggerated character trait that gives us an impression of an archetype or political group. The Americans are no exception to this, so Karen Clarke (Mimi Kennedy} and Lt. Gen. George Miller (James Gandolfini) fill out the roles of Anti-War-Amoral-Scumbags, and Linton Barwick (David Rasche) is the flipside, being the Pro-War-Amoral-Psychopath.
All of the cast turn in great performances, and even manage to maintain some kind of presence when Tucker starts off on one of his sweary, juggernaut-esque rages -
Oh, Steve Coogan also makes an appearance as... someone... I don't know, I can't remember. While it does pan out in the long run, Coogan's part in the film always feels a little superfluous, and is the one part of an otherwise ballsy movie that feels slightly baggy.
[HEADING=2]"If I could, I'd f*cking punch you into paralysis."[/HEADING][small]Malcolm Tucker, reiterating the nicest thing a woman's ever said to me.[/small]
In The Loop is about the war in Iraq.
Of course it never says Iraq, because the film is smart enough to know that would instantly date the piece and make it defunct.
But that's what the film is. Strip away the childish profanity, the constant jokes, the documentary style and you are left with an extremely intelligent, uncompromising piece of cinema.
Again I don't know much about current events, but I'm lead to believe that George Bush went into Iraq looking for
I'll leave my personal feelings out of it for a change, and simply say that In The Loop is such a crazy, obnoxious series of events that it's probably, more or less, what actually happened.
But the film doesn't bog itself down with moral musings. It goes along, does it's own thing and lets the viewer make their own minds up. During the entire film it's not entirely clear what is going to happen at the end, or even what's happening at all, but you find yourself having a severe attack of notgivingafuckitus[footnote]Don't need to censor that; it's a real disease. It hit me mid way through high school and has not, to this date, been cured.[/footnote] because of the scathing, rat-a-tat jokes being fired off at break-neck speed. It's hard to fully describe the style that's been used, so instead I'll show you.
HEALTH WARNING:
Not suitable for vegetarians or pregnant women.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LugJd6uGJqI[/youtube]Not suitable for vegetarians or pregnant women.
The film's greatest strength is the humour. It's purile, yes, but the jokes are so abrasive, cutting and frequent that you just find yourself in awe of them. They're endlessly quotable, and if you don't get one line then don't worry because a thousand of it's brothers are just around the corner.
The only problem with this is that I'm not somebody who is easy to offend, so I forget that some people are... actually it's a shortcoming that's created quite a few problems for me, both personally and professionally. So, if you're a person who, quite rightly, finds gratuitous and unneeded insults offensive then this really isn't the film for you, you colossal fucking poofter.
... What?
[HEADING=2]"Oh you know me, Mal, kid gloves... Only made from real kids. "[/HEADING][small]No swearing, but still not in any way better.[/small]
It doesn't really help that the film in no way tries to educate you. It simply assumes that you are up on your terminology and can instantly spot the difference between an MP and a Spin Doctor, and that you are fully aware of the subtle differences between American and British policies.
This will leave some, myself included, a little bewildered when it comes to the plot. Smart and poignant becomes confusing and meandering if you don't pay absolute attention.
Which is the point, really, because the film's greatest strength is it's greatest weakness; the lines come so thick and fast it leaves precious little room for narrative or cohesion.
As a result, you may have to watch it several times to really get to grips with what's going on. The film just goes into such depth about the workings of international politics that the less informed will just drown in a sea of acronyms, lack of explanation and expletives.
But this isn't necessarily a bad thing. The way the film is presented means that each time you watch it you'll discover something new, or get a new appreciation for a particular line or quip that maybe slipped by you the first time.
Still, this is still a massive failing on the film's part and harks back to my age old gripe of style over substance - although here I'm really willing to forgive it based on side-splitting hilarity alone.
[HEADING=2]"F*ckity-bye!"[/HEADING][small]Possibly my favourite way announcing the end of something. In this case it's probably my career.[/small]
The verdict? Infantile, needlessly angry and utterly hilarious.
The whole thing comes across as a rant, a relentless attack on what the director, and presumably the cast, think about current politics has come to. The only thing is that if politics really is like this then I really want to be a part of it. I really can't think of another job where I will not only be paid, but applauded, for calling someone "a massive bag of cum".
It'll coincide nicely with me getting fired for the previous sentence, and pretty much everything I've ever done, ever.
[HEADING=1]
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[/HEADING]I know it's a little late, what with the holiday season being over to the point were even the buses are running normally again, but a big thank you for all the kind words and support you've all given me in 2009, I appreciate all feedback and you've all been absolutely amazing with it.
The only thing is that you have to live with the fact that your advice and opinions have created me, and whatever I do from now on is your fault.
Joking aside, every person who's ever commented on my work has inspired me to keep writing - be it to improve, entertain, or just give you advice on how not to do things. A sincere, heartfelt thank you to everyone for giving me something legal to do with my spare time.
[HEADING=1]
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!
[/HEADING]___________________________________________________________________________________
Can't sleep? Me either.
Film: Moon [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.162973] / Pulp Fiction [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.156647] / Night Watch [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.154980] / X-Men Origins: Wolverine [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.153507] / The Departed [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.149527] / Star Trek 2009 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.149058#3470961] / A review of Love Happens (Without seeing it first) [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.148846#3460365] / Inglourious Basterds [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.147977#3420043] / Fight Club Essay [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.147655#3403751] / District 9 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.147097#3373011] / The Crow 4: Wicked Prayer [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.137348#3089948]
Game: Modern Warfare II, and the making of Caffeine [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.161600] / Final Fantasy Double Feature [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.158465] / Resident Evil 4 Retrospective [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.148447#3440710] / Mass Effect [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.145571#3296970] / Final Fantasy: Dissidea [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.144913#3266704] / Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.140353#3149506] / Far Cry 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.139317#3129015] / Street Fighter IV [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.136868#3079685]
Other: A Review of Society, via Call of Duty 4 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.151891] / A review of My Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.146281#3332788]
Game: Modern Warfare II, and the making of Caffeine [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.161600] / Final Fantasy Double Feature [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.158465] / Resident Evil 4 Retrospective [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.148447#3440710] / Mass Effect [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.145571#3296970] / Final Fantasy: Dissidea [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.144913#3266704] / Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.140353#3149506] / Far Cry 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.139317#3129015] / Street Fighter IV [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.136868#3079685]
Other: A Review of Society, via Call of Duty 4 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.151891] / A review of My Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.146281#3332788]
