Caffeine: Metro 2033

[domble]

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[HEADING=2]caffeine[/HEADING]​

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[HEADING=1]METRO 2033[/HEADING]

Like all of us who are aware of a recession without being too affected by it, I see free roaming games as a kind of insurance - "Sure, the £50 you've just spent might have been better invested by eating it," my brain squawks, "but at least you can choose to mow down innocent bystanders in a stolen car if the mood takes you. That should keep you entertained for minutes before you have to go back to the gray hell of your empty life."

Futile cries for help aside, my point is that the whole "freedom" thing is wearing a bit thin. The ability to roam around a digital city behaving like Charlie Sheen is fun, certainly, but our shelves are festooned with titles that specialise in just, and sometimes only, that.

Long story short, I came into possession of Metro 2033, a game so linear and punishing of deviance that it actually kicks you through the plot.

What's interesting about a game that takes the reigns away from you is how effortlessly it can craft its own atmosphere. From the word go you're hosed down by an unrelenting smog of post-apocalyptic misery (in a good way) created by dark, claustrophobic tunnels and desolate urban "topside" environments. With the speed of a runaway train heading towards a brick wall, you're plunged into the eye sockets of Artyom, a Russian Metro-dweller so bitter and hate-fueled he doesn't even use his own tongue.

As you might have guessed from the box art, Metro doesn't share a genre with, say, Viva Pinata. It's straight-up, balls-to-the-wall-and-probably-ceiling-too survival horror - and believe me when I say that "survival" is the operative word. The game is hard. Never before has Yakov Smirnoff been so relevant, because in Soviet Russia, game plays you, my friend. Don't get me wrong, the AI isn't particularly competent, you won't get embroiled into an epic game of wits with sewer montsters and you definitely won't be astounded by an enemy unit's flanking tecnique - but what you will experience is an environment that is doing everything it can to kill you, and you're going to have a hard time killing it back.

Most foes, being used to such a severe climates as bad weather and having their limbs hacked off, have developed some kind of horrifying tolerance to bullets. On the harder settings you'll empty an entire stock of shotgun shells into an enemy, only to find that not only are they still alive, but also willing to give you tips before they wander over and beat you to death with your own legs. If there's any part of the game that's a complete dealbreaker, this is it.

Which isn't to say that it's a flawless pearl that just happens to be found on the collar of a dog with rabies. The game has a lot of faults, technical and otherwise, that help to break the sense of immersion the setting works so hard to provide.

First off, let's get back to basics and consider what the game is: an FPS. Since the F and the P are a little hard to get wrong, the S is pretty much the most important part. The guns you get are completely unique, and look authentic in that someone who doesn't get enough fresh air has spent hours upon hours designing them. The only thing wrong with this is that no time was spent making them seem meaty and reliable, and this coupled with a sticky and unwieldy aiming mechanic makes using the weaponry feel about as rewarding as rummaging for pennies in an active beehive.

This can almost be overlooked. Having weapons about as effective as Charlie Sheen's psychiatrist [footnote]Sorry, they just keep coming to me[/footnote] adds to the suspense, especially during some of the game's unforgiving stealth sections. Having said this, the greatest terror comes from sprinting down a dark tunnel, desperately jamming more useless ammo into a homemade rifle, all while unspeakable atomic monsters scream after your soft, tasty flesh. Even the graphics, which can be generously be described as "rugged", add a certain shabby charm that amps up the fear, and the scenery is nicely varied the whole way through.

What can't be excused, however, is the blatant lack of a coherent story. It's sad, but the linear gameplay doesn't seem to allow for a decent narrative structure. Even characters like Khan and Miller, who have strong social and political beliefs in the book[footnote]Oh yeah, the game is based on a book. Read it, it's excellent.[/footnote], are smothered by missing exposition and snipped dialogue. For example, it was only after finishing the game I discovered that there was a karma system in place, and that was only after I found an unofficial web guide by accident.

What Metro gets right, however, it really gets right. It goes down the Half Life route of taking a break from the action every now and again to show you some of the more peaceful settlements the metro has to offer. These places are brimming with families, music and culture, and were created with the sole purpose of showing you that the people Artyom is fighting to save actually do exist, and these quiet moments only make the louder ones seem more deafening. In these stations you can also try your hand at trading, but seeing as the game makes you sell your bullets in order to get things to shoot them out of, you can rest assured that it's not in any hurry to be your friend.

Metro 2033 does something I've never seen before, and that's wear its faults well. The major issues with gun mechanics and meandering plot threads are held down in a bath tub and drowned by the thick, cloying atmosphere, transforming a flawed game into one of the purest survival horrors available today.

It's a long way from being perfect, but if you can forgive a few foibles then this could be one of the soundest investments you will ever make.
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Spoiler: The Caffeine Archives: because your time is basically worthless.

Film: The Social Network [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.270049-Caffeine-The-Social-Network] / Machete [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.256345-Caffeine-Machete] / Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.238816-Caffeine-Bad-Lieutenant-Port-of-Call-New-Orleans] / Inception [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.231490-Caffeine-Inception-One-Year-Anniversary] / Black Dynamite [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.226865-Caffeine-Black-Dynamite] / A Scanner Darkly [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.199489-Caffeine-A-Scanner-Darkly] / Iron Man 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.195243-Caffeine-Iron-Man-2] / Terminator Salvation [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.191560-Caffeine-Terminator-Salvation-and-the-calamity-of-fourquels] / Serenity [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.189502-Caffeine-Serenity] / Frost/Nixon [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.187906-Caffeine-Frost-Nixon] / Kick-Ass [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.185181-Caffeine-Kick-Ass#5608635] / The Hurt Locker [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.183962-Caffeine-The-Hurt-Locker#5524103] / Pretty Woman [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.183238-Caffeine-Pretty-Woman] / The Haunting in Connecticut [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.181389-Caffeine-The-Haunting-in-Connecticut] / The Watchmen [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.180241-Caffeine-The-Watchmen-and-a-few-words-on-the-art-of-Adaptation] / The Men Who Stare at Goats [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.170886-Caffeine-The-Men-Who-Stare-at-Goats-25th-Review] / In the Loop [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.165442] / a Plan 9 from Outer Space rant [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.166079-Caffeine-a-Plan-9-from-Outer-Space-rant#4395286] / Moon [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.162973] / Pulp Fiction [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.156647] / Night Watch [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.154980] / X-Men Origins: Wolverine [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.153507] / The Departed [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.149527] / Star Trek 2009 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.149058#3470961] / A review of Love Happens (Without seeing it first) [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.148846#3460365] / Inglourious Basterds [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.147977#3420043] / Fight Club Essay [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.147655#3403751] / District 9 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.147097#3373011] / The Crow 4: Wicked Prayer [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.137348#3089948]

Game: Resident Evil 5 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.222184-Caffeine-Resident-Evil-5-and-a-few-words-on-racism] / ME2 DLC Bonanza! [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.216231-Caffeine-Mass-Effect-2-DLC-Bonanza-1-2] / Red Dead Redemption [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.201344-Caffeine-Red-Dead-Redemption] / Final Fantasy VIII retrospective [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.185358-Caffeine-Final-Fantasy-VIII] / Modern Warfare II, and the making of Caffeine [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.161600] / Final Fantasy Double Feature [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.158465] / Resident Evil 4 Retrospective [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.148447#3440710] / Mass Effect [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.145571#3296970] / Final Fantasy: Dissidea [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.144913#3266704] / Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.140353#3149506] / Far Cry 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.139317#3129015] / Street Fighter IV [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.136868#3079685]

Other: The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z double feature [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.169416] / A Review of Society, via Call of Duty 4 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.151891] / A review of My Cat [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.146281#3332788]

The Knuckleduster : Mass Effect 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.182033-Pimppeter2-and-Domble-present-The-Knuckleduster-Mass-Effect-2] / The Trial of Society, via Modern Warfare II [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.204216-Pimppeter2-Domble-present-The-Knuckleduster-The-Trial-of-Society-via-Modern-Warfare-II]

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[ColdBlooded]

Excellent to see your still reviewing games.

Keep up the awesome work.

 

[Hashime]

I loved metro 2033. I would not suggest paying full price for it, but if you say, bought it in a steam sale like I did, it is worth every penny.

I also disagree about the weapons being useless part, you just have to be a really good shot which is understandably harder on the consoles.

 

[Lost In The Void]

I enjoyed the atmosphere of the game; really well put together though as you said, the narrative lost a lot being put into shooter form. Excellent review, interesting choice in a different format. I will say I'm not a fan of the smaller pictures but thats just me.

Also I wasn't a fan of the book at all; it had a good concept but the ideas behind all the ideologies were lost on me when only a couple of chapters were devoted to each one; it felt really schitzo and rushed when it did that. Then again that could just have been me. It was a decent read but I wouldn't call it amazing.

 

[Rusty Bucket]

Holy shit, you've done two reviews in the space of a week. It's like Christmas, only more sarcastic and bitter.

Beautifully written review, one of your best I'd say. I read it in the exact amount of time it took for my Super Noodles to cook, which I think is a great length for a review.

I played a little of this game a while back, and the atmosphere was incredible. It got a little to intense for me actually. I think I'll probably pick it up on the cheap some time. The book also sounds very good, so I might just get that instead.

 

[domble]

I also disagree about the weapons being useless part, you just have to be a really good shot which is understandably harder on the consoles.

Yeah I got the impression that a mouse would definitely of helped, but PC gaming confuses and frightens me. I mean the console shooting wasn't completely bad, just nowhere near as refined as others is all.

I think a little more focus on that area would really have helped the game along.

The only thing I hated was the absolutely broken stealth mechanics. Seriously, SERIOUSLY broken.

They are unforgiving, grandma-catching-you-wanking unforgiving, in fact. The thing is I actually found them quite rewarding once I got them right. The stealth suit really helped, but again I only found that out from the damn web guide. Consistency is something, I guess.

Excellent review, interesting choice in a different format. I will say I'm not a fan of the smaller pictures but thats just me.

Also I wasn't a fan of the book at all; it had a good concept but the ideas behind all the ideologies were lost on me when only a couple of chapters were devoted to each one; it felt really schitzo and rushed when it did that. Then again that could just have been me. It was a decent read but I wouldn't call it amazing.

With the formatting, I just needed a new style because, as much as games are indeed progressing, talking about the Master Chief or Marcus Fenix for an entire section was a bit of a stretch. I wasn't sure where to put the pictures, so I figured just popping them on the side was the best option - although I don't think I'll review as dark a game next time lol

As for the book, I really enjoyed Glukhovsky's fresh viewpoints on current events, no matter how small they were. Also, khan was a really great character, anyone who says "you will obey me or you will die" without irony is not to be trifled with.

Will you be getting 2034 when it comes out over here?

Holy shit, you've done two reviews in the space of a week. It's like Christmas, only more sarcastic and bitter.

Beautifully written review, one of your best I'd say. I read it in the exact amount of time it took for my Super Noodles to cook, which I think is a great length for a review.

I played a little of this game a while back, and the atmosphere was incredible. It got a little to intense for me actually. I think I'll probably pick it up on the cheap some time. The book also sounds very good, so I might just get that instead.

haha yeah I've been on a bit of a writing kick, the past few days. Can't picture it as Christmas though; I've got the kind of face that doesn't go well with appearing in people's houses unexpected. But yeah, definitely give the book a shot if you get the opportunity - it drew me right in.

Really glad you enjoyed the review man, but what did you think of the formatting? I've just been trying to find the right look for things that aren't movies, hoping this goes well
[small]give me your super noodles....[/small]

 

[Rusty Bucket]

haha yeah I've been on a bit of a writing kick, the past few days. Can't picture it as Christmas though; I've got the kind of face that doesn't go well with appearing in people's houses unexpected. But yeah, definitely give the book a shot if you get the opportunity - it drew me right in.

Really glad you enjoyed the review man, but what did you think of the formatting? I've just been trying to find the right look for things that aren't movies, hoping this goes well
[small]give me your super noodles....[/small]

I liked the formatting actually. It's very clean. I think it works well for games, although it would prbably work a lot better with a game that has more than 2 colours. It's pretty hard to make those pictures out.

I think I'd enjoy the book a lot more than the game. I'm a massive coward, and hideous radiation demons jumping at me in narrow corridors doesn't sound like fun.
[small]If you take my super noodles I'll have no food. So no.[/small]

 

[domble]

haha yeah I've been on a bit of a writing kick, the past few days. Can't picture it as Christmas though; I've got the kind of face that doesn't go well with appearing in people's houses unexpected. But yeah, definitely give the book a shot if you get the opportunity - it drew me right in.

Really glad you enjoyed the review man, but what did you think of the formatting? I've just been trying to find the right look for things that aren't movies, hoping this goes well
[small]give me your super noodles....[/small]

I liked the formatting actually. It's very clean. I think it works well for games, although it would prbably work a lot better with a game that has more than 2 colours. It's pretty hard to make those pictures out.

I think I'd enjoy the book a lot more than the game. I'm a massive coward, and hideous radiation demons jumping at me in narrow corridors doesn't sound like fun.
[small]If you take my super noodles I'll have no food. So no.[/small]

Definitely right on the pictures thing, I think I might actually review viva pinata next, in all its evil, soul-eroding glory lol

And the book is, believe me, just as upsetting in places. It's done in a very economical way, too. I don't know if you encountered the librarians on your playthrough, just be assured that they're lovely and cuddly when compared to their literary incarnations.
[small]I haff vays of taking your noodles...[/small]

 

[Lost In The Void]

Excellent review, interesting choice in a different format. I will say I'm not a fan of the smaller pictures but thats just me.

Also I wasn't a fan of the book at all; it had a good concept but the ideas behind all the ideologies were lost on me when only a couple of chapters were devoted to each one; it felt really schitzo and rushed when it did that. Then again that could just have been me. It was a decent read but I wouldn't call it amazing.

With the formatting, I just needed a new style because, as much as games are indeed progressing, talking about the Master Chief or Marcus Fenix for an entire section was a bit of a stretch. I wasn't sure where to put the pictures, so I figured just popping them on the side was the best option - although I don't think I'll review as dark a game next time lol

As for the book, I really enjoyed Glukhovsky's fresh viewpoints on current events, no matter how small they were. Also, khan was a really great character, anyone who says "you will obey me or you will die" without irony is not to be trifled with.

Will you be getting 2034 when it comes out over here?

Alright well I'll continue to see how this format evolves, I see no reason that it can't exceed your previous one. As for 2034, while it wasn't God's gift to literature, its writing does dictate I get the second one, if only to conclude the plot; I do hope its slightly more focused than 2033 appeared to be.

 

[Zoe Castillo]

---

 

[Dogstile]

The only thing I hated was the absolutely broken stealth mechanics. Seriously, SERIOUSLY broken.

Replace broken with unforgiving. I did 8 runthroughs of this game, I mastered stealth on the 7th and it required me to learn to look at enemies and shoot them where they aren't armoured and to learn to look for proper hiding places.

Damn hard stealth