Whatever God you worship, I'm sure you'll be forgiven for assuming that a story about obscene fortunes being fought over by buck-tooth nerds might feature characters you can't / won't / don't even want to relate to. Well this is true, but not in the way you think. More on this later.
For now let's consider Jessie Eisenberg (ZombieLand, AdventureLand, LandLand) as Mark Zuckerberg, the computer prodigy that makes the plot happen. Now we've all experienced the Hollywood nerd, in all their bespectacled, zitty, girl-repelling, shy, slack-jawed glory, and Zuckerberg immediately defies this much-loved model by starting things off with an argument between him and his girlfriend. Hell, I bet this poser doesn't even collect collectables.
So he ain't your typical geek, but that isn't to say he's a social maestro gliding through parties like a greased butterfly made of win. Zuckerberg here is an obnoxious, awkward, pedantic mess and, if the film is to be believed, possessed of all the conversational skill of a cheesegrater.
What's commendable is that Eisenberg takes Aaron Sorkin's exquisite script and puts all the emotion behind the big words into his eyes and mannerisms. He invites you to see beyond what he's saying, and even the way he's saying it, and see the arrogance and vulnerability beneath. It earned him an Oscar nomination, and after the first ten minutes you'll understand exactly why - and not just because they were going to give the award to Colin Firth anyway.
This doesn't bode well for whoever he's sharing the screen with, seeing as he produces a Deafening Silence which drowns out even the loudest emotional explosions. Let's take a look at his partner in alleged crime, Andrew Garfield (will star in the reboot of Spiderman[footnote]Spiderman will premiere alongside the two Thor films, which are being simultaneously booted and rebooted. This is not to be confused with Captain America, because the reboot is happening this year, and the crap one will be released in 2013.[/footnote]) as Edwardo Saverin. Now Edwardo, unlike his prodigious best friend, is a minefield of emotion and uncertainty. The only thing is that he can't possibly hold a candle to Eisenberg's juicy performance. This isn't as much a critisism of Garfield, you understand, but more praise for the brilliantly conflicted Zuckerberg. Think Tom Cruise in Rain Man.
Having said this, there is an easy way to remedy the Dustin Hoffman effect; be unexpected. I say this because Justin Timberlake (NSYNC, 'nuff said) as Sean Parker is an absolute revelation in the film. Equal parts predator and coward, he's a dying internet star desperately trying to claw his way back into the spotlight. At first appearing as a mentor, then suddenly transforming into a parasite. The brilliant thing is that you never see the change, masked as it is beneath layers of charm and an easy confidence built from knowing that nobody expects that much from him anyway. Timberlake easily holds his own against people infinitely more experienced, and without him the film would feel horribly incomplete.
Which isn't to say that the d-bag field would be completely unfilled. In step Taylor and Cameron Winklevoss (Armie Hammer & Josh Pence), and their fellow Harvard weirdo Divya Narendra (Max Minghella) to serve as what would count for the film's bad guys. Seeing as the main trio spend enough time at each other's throats you might think a separate set of allw'ys-do-wells would be redundant, and to a point they are, but they make a delicious comparison to our main stooges and give us a bunch of people we want to boo and hiss at - all whilst providing the compulsory "spoiled rich kids" scene every college film, by law, has to have.
