I'd never be able to sleep around like that, mainly due to my beliefs and my social arkwardness. I definitely don't support you doing it, but I'm not in any position to judge.
Casual sex
- Thread starter RaisonD'etre
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In my younger days before I got married I had a number of "special friends", I think as long as everyone involved knows what the score is and where it going there is no harm involved. If they are expecting more than you can give thing do start getting a bit messy.
If your attracted enought to these people to sleep with them is there not more of an attraction and your just not willing to commit to a relationship?
In all sex buddies can be great fun as long as you know exactly where you both stand.
If your attracted enought to these people to sleep with them is there not more of an attraction and your just not willing to commit to a relationship?
In all sex buddies can be great fun as long as you know exactly where you both stand.
considering i am after a girl that haves being in several "open relationships" and it has made me doubt tenfold the... "morals" of such girl i have to say it does hurt, the image of a person that haves sex with someone without a commitment makes everyone wonder if she is ready for a commitment at all, and that is not a good idea for someone 18 years old...Madara XIII said:Hey if every consenting party is single, then why not? I personally may not like the idea of friends with benefits, but I don't see anything wrong considering no one's cheating on anyone.RaisonD said:
[HEADING=2] What do you think Noob?
...*sigh* Not the best voice of reason[/HEADING]
thats why i hate casual sex.
I think I could make it work with a friend, but not a complete stranger. I enjoy the emotional aspect and the intimacy more than I enjoy the actual sex so.. casual sex would just be weird for me. I'd try it a few times but I wouldn't want to keep doing it forever without any emotional ties.
Well at one point it will stop being casual for one of the parties. That's just Science.RaisonD said:
You see when you have sex there is a chemical released in your brain that will make you more attracted to / gain a more romantic view of the other person. So more sex = more attraction.
In some birds one dose of this is enough to last them a life time, hence why some birds mate for life.
Random piece of fact from Aurgelmir today. Hope you enjoyed.
Well there is the fact that sex doesn't bring you happiness. And of course the fact that you can't have 'casual' sex with someone, because it just doesn't work that way. And then there is the old STD's thing but apparently no one worries about that anymore.Sightless Wisdom said:
Other than that I can say that I didn't enjoy sex with the person I had it with, I deeply regret doing it, and it fucked up my life.
But of course guess it may be different for you. *shruggs* just telling you from my experience.
I wish I had someone like that but knowing my rotten luck with women in general, I doubt it'd end well anyway.
It's not for me. I've always been a serial monogamist (which at this time in my life, and very hopefully for the remainder, simply means a monogamist.) That's what works for me, and I certainly think it has its benefits.
That doesn't necessarily mean I look down on you, OP, or anyone else who can make this kind of arrangement work. I've been friends with only a very few people with whom I could imagine sex being strictly a "friendly" act. I'm not particularly concerned with the "morality" of casual sex as I am with the possibility of people getting hurt, mostly emotionally.
As long as everyone is a consenting adult and on board with how much (or little) sex means, and exercises some responsibility... hey, sex is great. Enjoy your life.
That doesn't necessarily mean I look down on you, OP, or anyone else who can make this kind of arrangement work. I've been friends with only a very few people with whom I could imagine sex being strictly a "friendly" act. I'm not particularly concerned with the "morality" of casual sex as I am with the possibility of people getting hurt, mostly emotionally.
As long as everyone is a consenting adult and on board with how much (or little) sex means, and exercises some responsibility... hey, sex is great. Enjoy your life.
Except if you'd ask Freud, he'd say that asexuals also want to have sex, but that the unconscious somehow twists that around into not wanting to have sex. And personally I can see some sense in that argument from an evolutionary point of view. After all, asexuals could just be really, really, unhealthily specific about where their gene strains go and are holding out for a perhaps unexisting mating partner.Sightless Wisdom said:
Anyway, what were my thought on the subject? Well, I'll have to level with you: I'm a virgin, so I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. But as far as I'm concerned, in the order you posted the questions in:
-Sure, if it makes both of you happy, I have no complaint.
-Sex was there before marriage and we came from that, so it can't be all fire and brimstone.
-I would, if she's nice, but I'd probably be wired like the Iron Curtain all the time.
-What did I just say about being a virgin?
So, yeah, the jist of it is go ahead, if it makes you both happy. But just remember, if she gets pregnant/you get pregnant, it's your baby. And if she's seeing someone/if he's seeing someone, you're in the wrong too.
>.> Oh, happy day! I can actually discuss my feelings on this matter now without trying to word it into a conversation with one of my friends. *has been wanting to discuss this for a while now*
My thoughts on people having casual sex are soooo funny and sad at the same time, because they're completely different for the two sexes, and no matter how many arguments I throw for each gender either for or against them, it always seems to boil down to two instant knee-jerk reactions from me.
Female who engages in "casual sex": lol whore
Male who engages in "casual sex": My man! *brofist*
>.> I love it.
My thoughts on people having casual sex are soooo funny and sad at the same time, because they're completely different for the two sexes, and no matter how many arguments I throw for each gender either for or against them, it always seems to boil down to two instant knee-jerk reactions from me.
Female who engages in "casual sex": lol whore
Male who engages in "casual sex": My man! *brofist*
>.> I love it.
I think it is a bad idea because of the increase of STIS, in particular the HPV virus because the condom does not offer full protection.
Having multiple sex partners is a risk factor ( to be honest, so is having sex), and there is nothing funny about a) getting an STI because a condom broke, b) genital warts (male and female) and cervical cancer (female only).
If you get and STI and it inches and burns and hurts why you pee, consider yourself lucky, some people can have no symptoms and then their lives will be in danger.
Both sex and fire have a lot in common. They are lots of fun to play with but can disfigure and kill.
Play safe, and avoid those who sleep around.
Having multiple sex partners is a risk factor ( to be honest, so is having sex), and there is nothing funny about a) getting an STI because a condom broke, b) genital warts (male and female) and cervical cancer (female only).
If you get and STI and it inches and burns and hurts why you pee, consider yourself lucky, some people can have no symptoms and then their lives will be in danger.
Both sex and fire have a lot in common. They are lots of fun to play with but can disfigure and kill.
Play safe, and avoid those who sleep around.
well for me the entire "friends with benefits" thing is like a landmine its just a bad idea standing on it sure itll be fun untill it blows up but when it does it just wont worth it...
but in general sure i think that fwb can be a nice and fun relationship just not the thing for me
but in general sure i think that fwb can be a nice and fun relationship just not the thing for me
I suppose I've had casual sex with two of my female friends, and it usually turned into a game of "okay, what am I allowed to do?"
If I were to date someone who had engaged in casual sex before, well obviously I would feel uneasy, but I could look past it (especially if they had another female friend who they wanted to try it)
If I were to date someone who had engaged in casual sex before, well obviously I would feel uneasy, but I could look past it (especially if they had another female friend who they wanted to try it
)Ugh, nice. Lots of sexist drivel in this post, not least the use of the word "slut". Now, I have no idea if what you described of her "typical evening" is something she told you about herself or something you just assumed or were told second hand, but let's just address this as though this is indeed how *she* felt it. And it happens: people engage in self-destructive behaviour related to the source of their self hatred and get stuck in this spiral; I know I'm not the only one who's seen it happen and I know that a lot of people have testified to this as their experience.Johnny Impact said:
But for Christ's sake, this does not make her a "slut", no matter what the reason she would be doing this. Slut is a stupid insult thrown at women for shaming women who dare to act in a manner which is deemed sexually inapropriate; in other words, for acting how she pleases with her own body. And no, saying that you call men sluts too or that it's not okay for men either isn't much better, because then you're just being both judgemental and repressing people's (or rather judging them for their) ownership over their bodies. And besides, someone who is stuck in such a self-destructive situation can hardly be said to be well in charge of their own sexuality; the use of the word "slut" in this case sounds like it's part victim-blaming as well (yay!).
And if she chooses to go out with a different man each night and have sex? So what? The worst you can say about it is that it's taking risks, which is true. Humans partake in a lot of risky activities, such as drinking, smoking, and sky-diving. Why single out sex, especially when it's done in a manner which minimizes risks? (most often with women, surprisingly enough) The excuse that says you're putting your partner at risk as well as yourself doesn't fly, because it goes both ways: Two adults agreeing to have sex implicitly understand the risks they're taking, assuming they're educated on the matter. Speaking of which, hugging a girl carries no danger of infection whatsoever, so you're either being ignorant or an ass. And other than the (real) danger of sex, what objections or left, other than religious or pseudo-religious moral ones? This isn't a rhetorical question, by the way; I really want to understand what reasons, other than religious, people may have to consider sex in this way.
But the whole "slut" bullshit isn't the only trace of sexism in this kind of talk. How about the following bit: "but when I know half the guys in town got there before me...."
This is taking a girl's own sexuality and making it solely about the guys who've had sex with her. It's about guys "getting there before me" rather than about her own experiences with sexuality. It's basically saying you come off as less of an alpha for getting with a girl who's "been had" by other males or something. It's like that stupid key and lock analogy that was popular not long ago. It makes sex less about individual *and* shared experiences and more about the man claiming the woman.
Finally, even if you believe that having sex with multiple partners is having no respect for your body and you choose to not do so, and even if all of your practices reflect this (so if you believe this because of the risk you're running, then you also reject all risky non-essential activities), you're still in no position to call people who do otherwise names like slut. People are allowed to have their own notions of what it is to respect one's self, and while you're fully entitled to disagree with them, insulting people for what is essentially having a different conception of their own selves is, at its best, completely presumptuous.
No kidding! "Hey, sexy, wanna go back to my place for some casual sex? Just... uh... promise you won't murdermeandcutupmybodykthx. o_0;"Vault101 said: