Casual sex

[ReservoirAngel]

I find it odd. Before I got into my "wanting a relationship" phase I did some stuff with both a couple of my friends and a few strangers here and there. And to this day I regret it whenever I think about it. It didn't get awkward with my friends but for a long time I had to avoid one of them until I could think up a way to say "I don't want to have sex with you ever again" without being a dick about it.

It's just... meaningless. I'm the kind of person who wants some meaning or attachment when I have sex and doing it with my friends for "well, we haven't got anything else to do" reasons just felt empty and shallow. Doing it with random one-night-stands is even more meaningless for me.

It kind of bums me out that my first time was with some random dude I met in a gay club rather than with my boyfriend. But oh well, no changing the past I suppose.

 

[sinterklaas]

I generally have zero respect for people that do that, as I find they frequently have little respect for their own bodies either.

To each, their own, but I have very little interest in spending time with people like that.

You disgust me. There is nothing wrong with an action that doesn't hurt anyone or anything.

But go ahead, it's better for us all if people like you keep together in your narrowminded circles

 

[Fallingwater]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits?

If the other person is a girl and attractive, this is my ideal relationship with them, but I much prefer being friends with benefits than just "hi, wanna fuck?" *hump hump* "kthxbye", though I wouldn't refuse the latter if I couldn't have the former.

What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit?

That they ain't sleeping around enough. Also that there aren't enough of them; in an ideal world everyone would be like that, and humanity would be a much less troubled race.

Would you consider going steady with someone like that?

Insofar as I'd consider going steady with someone, it could only be with a sexually open/free person. Having discovered myself to be an ethical slut [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ethical_Slut], I no longer consider a sexually monogamous relationship feasible. Sentimentally monogamous yes (I'm not into polyamory), but there are too many great things to be experienced in sex to limit it to one partner.

Any experiences on the matter?

Sadly, not quite as many as I'd like. Don't know if it's just me or what, but I keep meeting girls with prehistoric opinions of what constitutes morally good sex and what doesn't. I wish more people would think logically about the whole thing, but then logical thought isn't exactly a widespread trait in our species. *sigh*

"Why shouldn't we give in to our base urges?"
Because those include killing others(watch any group of territorial animals), which is still wrong I presume? Being natural doesn't make something right.

Yes, because killing people and boning people are exactly the same thing. See what I meant about logical thought?

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

i'm all for it
personally though, i think friends with benifits is better than sleeping around too much, regardless of gender

in france, do you thinka a dildo is refered to as la dildo or le dildo?

 

[The Big Robb]

I'm all for it for other people. I don't see anything wrong with casual sex/ friends with benefits, because people should be allowed to have sex with people they trust.

But for me, personally, I'm looking for something more permanent, and in my personal experience, sex tends to ruin friendships for me, I just can't keep that kind of thing in context, so I avoid it.

 

[Killclaw Kilrathi]

Casual sex is great, so long as both sides agree beforehand that it's strictly no strings attached. The only problem is when one person decides afterwards to change the deal and wants something serious, that happened to me and I wound up with a female stalker who kept trying to rope me into a relationship.

 

[SpaceBat]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits?
What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit?
Would you consider going steady with someone like that?

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal. However, I know this is met with some scorn and would like to hear what others think of the subject.

There's nothing wrong with what you do and I'm sure the friends you sleep with think the exact same, so good for you. This does raise your chances of catching an STD, so be careful. And I've never seen a friends-with-benefits situation last very long, so watch out for that as well.

Anyway, I have nothing against it and think no differently of women and men who sleep around a bit as long as they immediately stop doing that when they go steady with someone (me or anyone else). And just ignore the stuck-up people who would instantly dismiss you for your sexual habits.

I never realised until just now exactly how many emotionally stunted and fucked people there are in the gaming community, so I think you're lost on this board mostly to be honest mate...

Yeah, it's quite shocking actually. And judging from my experiences with other gaming boards, the escapist seems to have it the worst. Most other gaming boards I've visited aren't nearly filled with this many emotionally stunted people.

The high and mighty "I don't even want to be associated with people like that. They're pathetic and weak!" types can fuck right off. Get over yourselves, because guess what? Sexual habits don't make the person

Agreed.

 

[InfiniteSingularity]

I think it's a dead debate, and we've engaged in some casual necrophilia with it's deadness

 

[Thyunda]

Way I see it, it's as long as it's a challenge for the first one. Giving it out to just everyone is kinda shameful...you just don't give it all up at once. And that goes for everything. Not just sex. If a girl walked up to me and offered it, even if we were good friends, I would probably say no.
There's no sense of achievement in it otherwise. Also, I prefer the chase over the catch...so that's probably just me.

 

[Vault101]

Id totally be all for it if it was with somone I knew/trusted

total strangers though? no way

No kidding! "Hey, sexy, wanna go back to my place for some casual sex? Just... uh... promise you won't murdermeandcutupmybodykthx. o_0;"

or you know, you get to the other persons house.....

"alright awsome...wait, uhh whats with the bugs bunny costume?"
"put it on"
"what?....uh look I dont-"
*pulls knife*"PUT.....IT....ON!"
"is that a taser?!.....I just remembered i have to babysit my cousin...*run*"

 

[Fallingwater]

Giving it out to just everyone is kinda shameful...you just don't give it all up at once

Why, exactly?

Also, I prefer the chase over the catch

Why bother catching at all then?

 

[Thyunda]

Giving it out to just everyone is kinda shameful...you just don't give it all up at once

Why, exactly?

Also, I prefer the chase over the catch

Why bother catching at all then?

Why? Well, where's the fun in that? You don't play a video game to beat the last boss. You don't watch a football match just to see the winning goal. You don't eat at a fancy restaurant just to fill your stomach.

As for why bother catching...well, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I don't even need the catch to get the satisfaction.

You're a little too determined to encourage reckless fucking. I see no problem with it, but I would not have sex with a girl who was too easy. What was it Stephen King said? Something about people that have sex purely for the paltry squirt at the end, ignoring the whole lovemaking in between.

 

[Astoria]

Not my thing. I've only had sex while in a relationship and I really don't think I'd enjoy it nearly as much with someone I didn't feel strongly about. I don't really look down on people who do it every now and then but people who do it frequently I see as kinda pathetic (and by frequently I mean they don't consider a weekend good if they don't get some).

 

[MGlBlaze]

Generally I find 'causal sex' to be a misnomer. There's nothing wrong with the 'friends with benefits' thing, but it requires respect and understanding between everyone taking part in it regardless. Adequate protection, honesty, et cetera.

There's also a faux-pas in the form of continuing a 'friends with benefits' arrangement if one person starts developing deeper feelings for another. In that case you either need to agree to start dating and taking on a more serious relationship, or you need to stop then and there if the other isn't ready for a serious relationship in order to avoid many hurt feelings.

It's all in the details and how everyone conducts themselves, really.

In short;
It's perfectly fine but it requires mutual respect, just like anything else.

I do have an issue with just having sex with strangers, though. That flies in the face of the entire 'mutual respect' idea if you ask me.

Though I haven't read it myself, I have seen this book [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethical_slut] cited for the etiquette surrounding the topic of 'causal sex'.

 

[Eduku]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits?
What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit?
Would you consider going steady with someone like that?

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal. However, I know this is met with some scorn and would like to hear what others think of the subject.

There's nothing wrong with what you do and I'm sure the friends you sleep with think the exact same, so good for you. This does raise your chances of catching an STD, so be careful. And I've never seen a friends-with-benefits situation last very long, so watch out for that as well.

Anyway, I have nothing against it and think no differently of women and men who sleep around a bit as long as they immediately stop doing that when they go steady with someone (me or anyone else). And just ignore the stuck-up people who would instantly dismiss you for your sexual habits.

I never realised until just now exactly how many emotionally stunted and fucked people there are in the gaming community, so I think you're lost on this board mostly to be honest mate...

Yeah, it's quite shocking actually. And judging from my experiences with other gaming boards, the escapist seems to have it the worst. Most other gaming boards I've visited aren't nearly filled with this many emotionally stunted people.

The high and mighty "I don't even want to be associated with people like that. They're pathetic and weak!" types can fuck right off. Get over yourselves, because guess what? Sexual habits don't make the person

Agreed.

I agree with pretty much everything quoted here. I myself have no time for such narrow-minded stuck-up people.

 

[Aerodyamic]

Sleeping around is considered by some, and partially me, to be a sign of moral weakness.

You're name is suspiciously similar to that of a popular sex-hound from Family Guy, and yet you feel that sexual promiscuity is a sign of moral weakness? I'm afraid I can't see how that works.

OT: I don't see any problem with the concept, provided the involved parties are responsible about their sexual activities; you know, making sure they're using appropriate protection, being honest about what they're actually looking for in the 'relationship', and not randomly getting themselves pregnant or diseased.

I've has my share of casual sex, and there's nothing wrong with it, provided that it's understood that there truly are 'no strings attached', and everybody comes away satisfied.

 

[Fallingwater]

Why? Well, where's the fun in that?

A lot of enjoyable sex followed (hopefully) by a large number of mutually given orgasms? Dunno about you, but that sounds like a whole heap of fun to me...

You don't play a video game to beat the last boss.

I find it peculiar that to you the videogame is what comes before the contact, rather than what comes afterwards. To me, the chase is merely the FMV intro before the game begins - the intro that, in certain games, can easily be skipped to increase the fun and decrease the pointless waste of time.

As for why bother catching...well, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I don't even need the catch to get the satisfaction.

On one hand, you must be the cause of endless amounts of frustration for your targets. On the other hand, people who let themselves get cockteased cause me more irritation than people who cocktease. Or, um, pussytease, since it seems you're a dude.

You're a little too determined to encourage reckless fucking. I see no problem with it

Provided it's done by people who have half a brain (this is pretty damn important), reckless fucking is fun and harmless, and therefore good. So I see no reason to abstain from having as much of it as possible, and encourage others to do the same. Hell, go nuts - threesomes, foursomes, sex parties, bisexuality (or homosexuality for that matter), experimentation, perversions... nothing is inherently bad, evil or wrong, provided you harm no-one (beyond some forms of sexual play) and use protection.

but I would not have sex with a girl who was too easy.

Your loss... maybe it'd be the best sexual partner of your life, but you'll never know.

What was it Stephen King said? Something about people that have sex purely for the paltry squirt at the end, ignoring the whole lovemaking in between.

I don't think anyone's talking about lovemaking here. Lovemaking and fucking for the sake of hormonal release are two quite different concepts. Neither is negative, and in fact both can bring considerable enjoyment, provided one leaves behind prejudices and moralistic/religious bigotry.

I do have an issue with just having sex with strangers, though. That flies in the face of the entire 'mutual respect' idea if you ask me.

Why? Can there be no mutual respect between strangers?

 

[Evil Earlgrey]

Oh, the inexperience when it come to relationships just radiates through this thead like nuclear fallout through fukushima. You assume that the two are different things, when they are not.

See the thing is: Sex becomes good after a while. That's why one-night stands are shit. And if you say otherwise you simply just are not experienced enough to know the difference. So as soon as you start sleeping with someone more often it is a kind of relationship. Friends with benefits is nothing else than a relationship without the pressure of having to be faithfull or to stay with that person for a longer time. Which is of course an illusion. Because everyone who has had a "friend with benefits" knows that you cant emotionally detach yourself. Sooner or later (expecially when one of you two starts seeing somebody else) feelings are bound to come up. So the whole "having fun without commitment" is a lie for people to hide behind, who are scared to accept that sex means something and always creates a connection.

I have been in long and serious relationships where i had more sex with other people, than when i was single. With my partner beeing totaly okay with it i must add. I never cheat. Never had to. And i have been in "casual" relationships that were a lot more like a serious relationship than anything else. I met a girl last month i had slept with once 12 years ago. That single night had created a bond that both of us share until today. You cant have sex without forming a realtionship.

And not two relationships on this planet are alike. Every two people that are friends, have sex and/or love each other create a new way of being together. So really.. there is not the one or the other thing. There is just what you two do and however that feels is what it is.

Sry, for my english but i cant describe it better what i mean. Hope you get the point.

 

[Treefingers]

It can get messy quickly if you are not careful.

This. This is forgotten too easily in the face of satisfying impulses.

Sexual habits don't make the person...

I disagree. I think a person's sexual activity says a hell of a lot about that individual.

I don't think casual sex is necessarily bad in itself. But it can have a greater effect than people often give it credit for, which can (though not always) be bad.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

ITs pretty normal . Sometimes you just want to have sex. nothing more. Nothing special,strange,wrong or slutty there. Just enjoy the flirt, the fooling around, and the pure carnal pleasure. And then "goodbye, t'was nice , see ya".
I am not saying it is ok to trick someone with false promises. But if both are in just for the fun, its perfectly ok.