Clingy personalities

[Boneasse]

G'day fellow escapists.

I was at the local bar with some mates this evening, it's quiz night with beer and cake rewards on Thursdays, and we were having a laugh, drinking a bit and winning a few games. Then, in walks this guy I've got classes with and we say 'hi' at which point he settles down at our table.

Now that's fine, I can dig that. It takes balls to sit your ass down at a table of 5 of which you only know 1. Trouble is, he's kind of a douche. He only wants to talk about stuff he's interested in (which would be fine if he was a hot chick *wink wink*), and he constantly bad-mouths anyone he doesn't like. We grow tired of that after a while and decide we want to go grab a bite at McDonalds, as an excuse to leave, at which point this guy follows us.

This goes on for a couple of hours, and to make a long story short he basically invites himself over to my mates apartment, at which point I have to set my foot down, and I tell him that we "had fun in his company" but that he can't just impose himself on other people like that.

I tried to state it as politely as possible, but couldn't help feel bad when he started walking the other way. We're all grown men after all (in our twenties), and I just don't understand how people can't have any sense of propreity.

So, was I being a dick saying it like that? Have you ever experienced someone clinging to you, or some of your friends? And how did you deal with that situation, if it was annoying?

Edit: Just to clarify, he has (what I belive to be) friends in the courses we are taking. He hangs out with these people, and I would think he knows how to make friends and interact with others, unless it's because they are exactly similar to him. It was only tonight though, that he decided he wanted to hang out with my friends and I, without our "consent" if you will. It would just seem that he didn't know how to take a hint, which was the point I was trying to make with my tale.

 

[The Afrodactyl]

Well he was clearly alone and wanted to spend time with a group. He happened to notice you and decided he would spend time with you.

But if he's imposing himself that much, and isn't a close friend, then I suppose it was fair that you told him no when he invited himself over.

Haven't met any clingers yet.

 

[Boneasse]

Well he was clearly alone and wanted to spend time with a group. He happened to notice you and decided he would spend time with you.

But if he's imposing himself that much, and isn't a close friend, then I suppose it was fair that you told him no when he invited himself over.

Haven't met any clingers yet.

Absolutely. It would be fine if he was just hanging with us at the bar, but inviting himself over did seem a bit over the top, especially as he hadn't spoken a word to the guy we were going over to.

 

[KaiRai]

That's kind of clingy but just be like "Listen, my friends didn't know you that well, it seemed kind of weird for them" when you next see them.

Hell, ask to go for a drink sometime. Not everyone's as bad as they first seem. Some people I used to find annoying I can have a conversation with now at least when I see them out.

 

[Polock]

Not everyone can pick up social ques/hints. He must have been one of them. Those kind of people are kind of annoying, but sometimes they just don't realize it. (Or you just don't give enough of a hint to make them realize they aren't really welcome).

Still. I think you were in the right. I know where you are coming from, I feel bad when I have to turn people away if they are annoying (rare that I do tho).

 

[Boneasse]

That's kind of clingy but just be like "Listen, my friends didn't know you that well, it seemed kind of weird for them" when you next see them.

Hell, ask to go for a drink sometime. Not everyone's as bad as they first seem. Some people I used to find annoying I can have a conversation with now at least when I see them out.

Not a bad idea. To be honest they did feel kind of weird about it, but I I'll take it under advisement.

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

I know exactly how you feel...

I have a cousin who is EXACTLY the same, he will follow me along like a lost puppy whenever he gets a chance to and will comment on anything I or anyone around me says... Usually with a "Yo Mama" joke or a "that's just plain gay!"...

And it sucks because not only am I good friends with his parents and confronting him about it would probably affect that relationship, but he has some things wrong in the head so I think that would make ME a real douche...

It doesn't help that he doesn't have any friends either...

 

[Boneasse]

It's entirely possible that he honestly doesn't know how to talk to people. There are some people that can earnestly say "hi!" and start a conversation, then go on to talk about themselves way too much; if they don't they just end up not saying anything. He may not have understood that he was being a douche, and he may have been alone for all his life and just wanted to learn how to hang out.

Of course, it's also possible he knows his douchebaggedness entirely and just wanted to hurt people. This is actually something I doubt very much, since douchebags and pricks often do not know that they are douchebags and pricks.

True, it just seems improbable that he doesn't know he possesses some douchyness. He has "friends", I believe, in the courses we are taking, so I don't think it's because he doesn't know how to interact with people. Unless, of course, those people are like him.