Club scene advice

[Alistar_Helloise]

Well, here is the thing. I have no trouble approaching girls, or talking to them. In fact I can actually say that I genuinely enjoy what I have become in many aspects. Thing is, there is a certain thing I have not been able to do yet.

Sealing the deal with the girls in the club scene.

Maybe it's the location, I tried Hoboken, newark and some areas of New York City.

Maybe it's my skin color, maybe the girls I like do not like Black Males. I usually aim towards white women or hispanic, don't ask.

Maybe I'm just not as attractive as I thought I was or feel.

Perhaps going up to some random girl with a welcoming smile and asking her if she wants to dance is not the best tactic, as I either get the cold shoulder then walk away, a weird look that is almost totally uncalled for, or the rare and elusive "Sure", some small talk and the girl im dancing with "going somplace with her friends" which is code for :"Later".

Perhaps they are just there to dance and cut loose and get hit on / ego fed and I should see which girls are at the bar and test my luck there rather than trying the dance floor.

One of my friends gives me advice on how I should be this sleezy alpha male, aka. something I'm not and his advice makes me sick to my core, and I know it will not work with me.

 

[Barbas]

You shouldn't try to be someone or something you're not. Trying to keep up the façade isn't really worth the trouble of appearing superficial. I'd try meeting up with people at the bar and just being yourself. People are usually calmer and more easy-going with a drink in their hand, while the others will try to impress each-other on the dance floor.

That's what I'd do, anyway. If it doesn't work, at least you came across well and didn't look like a douchebag.

 

[Batou667]

In my opinion clubs are terrible places to pick up women - the emphasis on physical first impressions, the lack of decent verbal communication, the need to be able to dance not-terribly - that just doesn't play to my strengths at all. Perhaps you should stop going clubbing with the intention of picking up girls, just go out for a good time and see what happens? For romantic pursuits you might find bars or social clubs a lot more fruitful.

 

[Terminal Blue]

Generally, clubs are not good places to hook up.

The reasons why should be kind of obvious, it's a venue where the whole purpose is dancing. Most people, bless them, are not particularly good at dancing and thus shy about having strangers look at them dance. Those who are good at dancing tend to go clubbing specifically to dance rather than to socialize. I mean, other than a few friends I occasionally bump into in clubs I never speak to anyone I didn't go with. That's kind of how it is.

Back in my hometown where the nightlife was smaller and a lot more focused on raw alcohol consumption, it was a bit different, but that wasn't so much "we have a dance and then go back to my place" as "I paw drunkenly at some woman who is on the verge of passing out". Again, not pleasant, not fun, not particularly ethical.

So yeah, I think you're getting the wrong idea. Meet someone in another venue where you can socialize more freely (the bar sounds a good idea) and then go dancing once you've broken that initial ice and established some level of comfort. Don't listen to your friend though, creepers are absolutely vile and the bane of any club atmosphere.