Coffee Conundrum

[DarklordKyo]

As a tubby person, I have a natural ability to absorb stuff quicker than my skinnier bretheren. That said, seeing as though I'm not a morning person, how many cups of coffee can I drink before I become crazier than Freakazoid after discovering 4Chan?

Captcha: It's Super Delicious
Me: A good cup of coffee can be damn good, that's true.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

That really depends on your caffiene sensitivity.

I can drink a couple of cans of Monster Energy drink and not really feel it, while I've known people to have only half a can and they're bouncing off the walls.

 

[Jamash]

From all of the scientific data you provided, I calculate that the volume of the "cups", multiplied the caffeine content per mg of "coffee", when applied to the volume and mass of "tubby" at a metabolic rate of exactly "quicker" per hour, equals:

"Some cups of coffee, give or take a few".

I don't know... 1 cup? 2 cups? 10 cups? You really need to provide some actual information if you want an actual answer, otherwise I'd say just throw a dart at a dartboard and divide the number by your age multiplied by your month of birth to work out how many cups of coffee you should have.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

That really depends on you caffiene sensitivity.

I can drink a couple of cans of Monster Energy drink and not really feel it, while I've known people to have only half a can and they're bouncing off the walls.

A couple of cans?
What size we talking here?
Also, blabla unhealthy to drink too many energy drinks, bla, kidney failure, bla.

On topic:
Why don't you start by drinking two cups of coffee, waiting for app. 15 minutes and if nothing happens, add one. Repeat until desired effect manifests itself.

 

[Quaxar]

I can tell you. I just need weight, height, liver sample, a complete blood test and the caffein per ml ratio of your desired coffee brand.
And probably a research fund. Yeah, actually I think I'll take the fund first and come back to you for the rest.

 

[Realitycrash]

If you are of average weight, drinking more than two cups of coffee won't actually 'do' much more for you. It won't get you more alert, etc. In fact, from what I have read, caffeine even acts as a depressant instead of stimulant in larger doses.

 

[Guffe]

You got to try it out, depends on how muh coffee you've been drinking, what coffee you drink, how strong coffee you drink etc, You got to try by the trial and error method

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Depends on what coffee you drink. I used to guzzle down about a litre in the mornings, but I bought this new stuff and I have one cup and I get the jitters about twenty minutes later.

 

[DarklordKyo]

To everyone who stumble upon this, replace the first "I" in the last sentence of the OP with "someone" (I posted this while I was still tired, wasn't able to think entirely straight).

 

[DoPo]

how many cups of coffee can I drink before I become crazier than Freakazoid after discovering 4Chan?

A cup of coffee would have around 150mg caffeine. It varies accoriding to size and how much, well, coffee you put inside but it's a usable average. If you've drank energy drinks, they usually have 100mg caffeine in a can (250ml can ones, like Red Bull and store brands - Moster is 500ml and has about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee in total), so you can use that as a comparison - how does a can of energy drink affect you? Or, if it would help, coke has 10% caffeine content (easiest way to calculate it - 1 litre has 100mg caffeine), have you tried to drink a lot of coke in one go?

Other than that, the other general thing I can say is don't go over 300-400mg caffeine - that's around where you OD on it. Meaning, shaky hands maybe and some sweating, so nothing scary but the issue is that any more doesn't actually give you much of a benefit in alertness and stuff, so it's more or less wasted.

That's all the general advice I can give you - it then depends on body type, weight and other stuff. You could very well feel nothing from your first cup of coffee (or nothing noticeable) or you may develop superpowers. Mostly, I'd suggest starting off with a cup and adjust from there. I myself find 100mg should be enough to wake me up...but that's mostly it, I go with 200mg when I need an actual boost.

 

[Little Woodsman]

As a tubby person, I have a natural ability to absorb stuff quicker than my skinnier bretheren. That said, seeing as though I'm not a morning person, how many cups of coffee can I drink before I become crazier than Freakazoid after discovering 4Chan?

Captcha: It's Super Delicious
Me: A good cup of coffee can be damn good, that's true.

Are you looking for long-term energy boost or a quick pick-me-up?

For a long-term energy boost, try a ginseng capsule about 10 minutes before each meal.

For a quick pick-me-up try brushing your teeth/breath spray/gargling and washing your face. Seriously,
you'd be amazed how refreshed & alert it can make you.

If neither of those is the answer you are looking for, try slowly increasing your coffee intake, and
observing how it affects you. Different people, different metabolisims.