Come Up with Achievements for XBone TV

[triggrhappy94]

There was an article the other day about MS's attempt to patent achievements for watching TV using your XBone. Let's come up with some of our own achievements for them.

Achievement Unlocked - Hey
Spend at least one hour with the Kinect camera covered up.

You do know how the thing on top of your TV works, right?
Watch porn in front of the Kinect.

Nothing like the breeze between the knees
Play through an entire game naked.

Sexy Party
Play a party game with at least three other people... and everyone is naked.

 

[woodsymoments]

Achievement unlocked - First world problem
couldnt be bothered conatantly reaching for remote so bought a 400£+ console just so you never will again.....sucker!!!


as you can tell im still upset by microsoft's conference.

 

[Daystar Clarion]

Achievement unlocked - You must be new here...

Bought the Xbone, with actual money.

 

[Vegosiux]

What is the point of it all?
-Say, in front of the XBoneBox, with these exact words: "Geee, why do I need this thing to watch TV again?"

 

[Shinsei-J]

Achievement unlocked - Nothing's on...
Channel surf for five minutes straight.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

The best achievement I can think of for any TV is turning it off.
Achievement unlocked: "life".

 

[I Stomp on Kittens]

Some men...
Got a call from a friend while watching tv and had them spoil the current episode you are watching.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Achievement unlocked - Bahahahahaha
Turn on your Xbone for the first time.

 

[Amethyst Wind]

Put on a pot of coffee, Marge...
Remain motionless for one hour (couches only).

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

'Will I dream... Dave.': Throw your Kinect out a fucking window.

'Easy mistake to make.': Try and put an old VHS into the disk drive of your Xbox ONE.

 

[Tom_green_day]

Something to do with singalong Glee episodes. I can't be bothered to think of something witty.

 

[generals3]

"I spy with my little eye..."
Turned on your XBone.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Achievement Unlocked: NERD!
Watch a full episode of Dr. Who

Achievement Unlocked: NERD!!!
Watched a full episode of Star Trek (any incarnation)

Achievement Unlocked: Shouldn't you be watching Football?!
Spend over 24 hours on any channel but ESPN

Achievement Unlocked: Backwards Thinker
Play either Halo 2 or Fable on your Xbox 360 while being watched by the Kinect2.0

Achievement Unlocked: Thank Your Parents
Spend 24 hours or more watching children's entertainment

Achievement Unlocked: Player
Boot up your first game. You could be watching TV ya know?!

Achievement Unlocked: Petty Fanboy
Play any other console while being watched by the Kinect2.0

Achievement Unlocked: Unreasonable Fanboy
Play any Mario game on their home console while being watched by the Kinect 2.0

Achievement Unlocked: Fantasy is Reality
Your fantasy football team has won the Superbowl! Congratulations!!​

 

[Froken Keke]

Life goal.

 

[jdogtwodolla]

"She'll never even know"
Your Xbone night stand was recorded with Kinect 2.0

"Come full circle"
Used your multimedia entertainment machine to play a video game.

"Probably never heard of them"
Downloaded an indie game from Xbone Live.

"Don't want no Dil-Dough"
Used your Kinect for the first time.

"It's time to stop playing"
Kinect 2.0 sensed your increased heart rate.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

You watched BBC 2 for 24 hours.....20 points.

An if MS did more, imagine if they showed how series in one sitting? I really feel sorry for completionists, they are going to be tortured by this.

Would be better if my girlfriend gave out achievements. ;-)

 

[Canadamus Prime]

"Braindead"
Actually bought and Xbox One.

 

[CrazyCapnMorgan]

"You check the furnace, I'll check the cesspool."
Had your Kinect locate your controller for you.

"Bad Company, I can't deny"
Find out that the XBox One violate some sort of consumer protection law in your country and then tell everyone at work about having a glorified black paperweight.

"You, too, shall know my pain..."
Whenever your Kinect turns on unexpectedly, you moon the Kinect at point blank range.

"...and smile its black-toothed grin."
While mooning the Kinect, produce a fart that lasts for 5 seconds or more.

Ah, I look forward to checking this thread at a later time.

 

[badgersprite]

Achievement Unlocked - Who's that guy again?

Spent an entire program asking the person next to you to explain basic details about the plot.

Achievement Unlocked - Just getting a soda.

Walked in front of the screen during a critical moment and prevented everyone from seeing it.

Achievement Unlocked - 2,000 channels and nothing to watch.

Spent more than half an hour channel-flicking.

Achievement Unlocked - Do the random flail.

Couldn't figure out how to work the Kinect and randomly flailed your arms in an attempt to get it to do what you wanted.

Achievement Unlocked - Did you say, "Xbox, go gnome?"

The Kinect doesn't respond to you because it failed to understand your accent or speech impediment.

Achievement Unlocked - Sit perfectly still.

Become too paranoid to move because the Xbox One has a terrible habit of interpreting any slight movement within its field of vision as an instruction to exit out of anything you're watching and enjoying.

Achievement Unlocked - Caught with your pants down.

The always on Kinect causes you to be seen in a state of undress by someone else.

Achievement Unlocked - EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP!

The motion and voice controls turn out to be completely impossible to work if you use it in a group or family setting.

Achievement Unlocked - Lolbye

Threw the Xbox One into the trash because you're sick of this shit.