Comedic Critique

[cambamuniverse]

I seem to be having an issue with these forums, as some of my topics disappear. I digress.

My name is Cameron Bryce and I am attempting to work on my commentary and ability to entertain as a comedian. I'm starting off making videos for YouTube that are related to video games, and I am looking for constructive criticism as to the quality of my videos, the way I speak, etcetera. Feel free to critique in any way possible, I will give two videos here:

Halo Reach New Year Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k-nRFWkaSk

Penumbra Overture Let's Play Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZomDEu9eo2M

The beginning of the Penumbra one has kind of low audio at the beginning, that was more of a technical malfunction that I will fix in the future, so please excuse me on that account.

Anyway, all help would be appreciated.

 

[Skin]

Some advice after watching the Reach video.

Your coming off as way too forced. Granted, comedic commentaries are almost always forced, but they give the illusion of not being so. That is a skill you must acquire and I am assuming it is going to come from practice. I found the start of the video funny with the little kid and the sighs, but it went downhill from there.

Also, make sure that you get better capture quality. People will close down the video immediately if they don't like the quality.

I suggest you play some really hard and frustrating games and practice your commentary there, because they are generally easier to get a reaction from rather than Reach match #1039..

 

[cambamuniverse]

Some advice after watching the Reach video.

Okay, thank you very much, I appreciate it.

See, the only people who really see these are friends of mine, and thus I can't expect hard criticism from them. I'm working on getting a Happauge PVR to increase quality, as well as a mic and acoustic pads to make it not sound like I am speaking in a wind tunnel.

As for the forced piece of it, while I do agree to an extent, I think that having it be four in the morning sort of made me loopy, and perhaps this is why. Your criticisms are appreciated nontheless, and I hope you atleast enjoyed it, thank you.

 

[Skin]

Some advice after watching the Reach video.

Okay, thank you very much, I appreciate it.

See, the only people who really see these are friends of mine, and thus I can't expect hard criticism from them. I'm working on getting a Happauge PVR to increase quality, as well as a mic and acoustic pads to make it not sound like I am speaking in a wind tunnel.

As for the forced piece of it, while I do agree to an extent, I think that having it be four in the morning sort of made me loopy, and perhaps this is why. Your criticisms are appreciated nontheless, and I hope you atleast enjoyed it, thank you.

Glad to help.

As for the forced part, it is not uncommon at all. Look at Rooster Teeth's Rage Quit videos. You honestly think the dude is angry and pissed off until you see a live version of it and see that is really just an act. What he does right however is give the illusion of being 100% serious when he really isn't being.

 

[Derek_the_Dodo]

No offence buddy but I didn't really find it very funny. I watched the Halo Reach one.

It may have just been the fact that it's in the context of a game that I have played to death and a lot of the comments that you made were too similar to those of people you meet in these matches and don't pay a lot of attention to, or ones that I have made myself anyway. Plus theres a million gaming channels who have already done this.

definitely get that better recording equipment, try out a new game, possibly one thats notoriously frustrating so the humour can come from there.

I think that having it be four in the morning sort of made me loopy

Actually it made you sound a bit tired and bored. Do it at a sensible time of day where you can focus on being entertaining for people. A small amount of scripting can also help, but do it in note form, just write a few good points and topics to talk on, a joke or two. This helps it sound spontaneous without ruining any sort of structure.

If you want to do live commentary then try harder to talk and concentrate on the action at the same time. the action is secondary to the speaking, and sometimes you did sound a little distracted by it. no one will care if you die loads.

Apologies for being quite so scathing, but you said that your friends were not particularly helpful. A few more tries and you'll find a style that suits you and hopefully do well, keep going and dont let my negativity stop you. Well done for posting it here for criticism because it takes a certain amount of balls to have people harshly judge your first attempt.

Oh also watch a load of standup. From general crap that everyone watches to very niche ones. Dara o'brian did a good bit on gaming which was pretty funny. youtube it.

 

[cambamuniverse]

No offence buddy but I didn't really find it very funny. I watched the Halo Reach one.

Apologies for being quite so scathing, but you said that your friends were not particularly helpful. A few more tries and you'll find a style that suits you and hopefully do well, keep going and dont let my negativity stop you. Well done for posting it here for criticism because it takes a certain amount of balls to have people harshly judge your first attempt.

No worries about being scathing, I can take it, I'm a man. Haha but I understand and appreciate the criticisms, it's what I am looking for here. But all of those points are taken and appreciated, I'll keep them in mind.