Computer-Illiterate People

[Deleted]

We've all done it. Damaging or not what computer pranks have you pulled off on people who deserved it? Here's my contribution:

I was working one summer as a computer repairer for minor problems, the guys there didn't want to trust me with the big jobs because I was the youngest, fine, no problem with that. They do it with all the new guys they told me. So I get a call directed to me and the problem was something about her files missing. Now this could mean a lot of things so I went through the basics.
Me: How many files and what are they?
Customer: Around 20 files of personal stories.
Me: So they're text files, or simply Word files?
Customers: No they're stories, in a folder. I know what they look lik.
Me: Well I don't so tell me the extension these files would have.
Customer: you should know this already you're a computer genius aren't you. God do they hire idiots these day?
Me: Could you check your recycling bin, maybe you accidentally deleted the folder.
Customer: Recycling bin? I'm not an idiot I'm on a Mac, didn't you know this already?
(I heard clicking noises so I assumed she was looking in the Trash Can)
Customer: There are some here I took the liberty of looking in my trash can no thanks to you. I'm doing this all myself fucking gold.
Me: Well to find the remaining ones we'll have to use a third party program to search the hidden files in your Mac.
Customer: Why?
Me: I have experience with windows so Macs need a special program to sift through the files.
Customer: Okay I opened up Safari where do I go? I can do this myself you were of no help to me dumbass. I'll make sure you learn something about computers after I download this program just listen to me and you'll learn a whole fucking lot!
Me: Yeah yeah, whatever. Teach me.
I then gave her the link to Lemon Party and heard her scream and hang up the phone. She never called back so my co workers said. Some of my best stories are fom working with those guys, I'll post some if any of yours remind me of them.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that people do not know what Lemon PArty is. Please, do not search for it, you will regret it. This message brought to you by Goatse Inc.

 

[Amnestic]

I then gave her the link to Lemon Party and heard her scream and hang up the phone.

I would have fired you if I'd caught wind of that as your manager.

 

[Deleted]

I then gave her the link to Lemon Party and heard her scream and hang up the phone.

I would have fired you if I'd caught wind of that as your manager.

I did get a lot of trouble for that but I wasn't fired. Mainly because she was being more abusive then I've typed in the story, and because I only work for 2 months during the summer there.

 

[Blackadder51]

CURSE YOU CURIOSITY....
Why did i have to look up Lemon Party

 

[gigastrike]

*sigh* what's lemon party?

 

[Amnestic]

*sigh* what's lemon party?

Very not safe for work, not exactly pleasant to look at, or describe.

 

[Arehexes]

This is why I wiki

Lemonparty.org contains an image of three elderly men in a bed kissing and having oral sex.

 

[Amnestic]

*sigh* what's lemon party?

Here click this [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shock_site]. I dare you

Hovering over hyperlinks before clicking them is for the win

 

[MasterSqueak]

*sigh* what's lemon party?

Here click this [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shock_site]. I dare you

Hovering over hyperlinks before clicking them is for the win

Or using the quote button.

 

[bazzu]

I like how quickly this moved from computer illiteracy to shock sites

 

[HT_Black]

ATTEMPTING TO GET THINGS BACK ON TRACK:

I once tricked a dull, overweight, cracker (I'm sorry, but he was! That's the only word for it!) into visiting a certain pornography site named for a governmental building...

 

[Motti]

snippety snip

'ladies and gentlemen, I give you . . . THE INTERNET'
IT crowd references aside, the worst I've done is let someone borrow my laptop but not tell them the password to use it.

 

[Amnestic]

*sigh* what's lemon party?

Here click this [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shock_site]. I dare you

Hovering over hyperlinks before clicking them is for the win

haha, clever boy. Well did you honestly expect me to post the real link?

Living on the internet for the past 8 years has taught me that caution is often the better path than assuming someone's decency, no matter how much you may trust them not to post lemonparty links.

 

[SilentHunter7]

I'm the resident computer nerd in my family, so whenever someone has issues, they go to me. It's actually not so bad, sometimes they give me tips. One time, my aunt wanted to know how to block myspace. I told her that you need to "modify a file in the Windows folder so that it will block Myspace's DNS server." (read: add two lines to a text file)

Naturally, she said "Ooookay... I think you should come over and do it." Easiest $5 I ever made.

I then gave her the link to Lemon Party and heard her scream and hang up the phone.

Lemon Party? You're far too forgiving. A situation like that calls for Last Measure. A particularly vengeful person might've even linked swap.avi

 

[Deleted]

Glad to see the thread derail and get back on track.

Another story with the same guys was centered around someone else this time. When computers are being sent for repairs, its common courtesy to keep certain things private like credit card numbers. You won't believe how many people have a notepad file called "Numbers" that includes all their personal information. Its a legal offense and a dick move to steal from people trusting you.

But when you don't bother to clean up your computer, and make a file that illustrates what the problem is (its our thing to ask customers to send computers in with the problem explained inside, saves time registering and whatnot) then we have some fun. One guy (I'll call him Dave) got lucky and was told to back up all files that have to do with a person's Business before he reboots it. Well as he was looking for the files he finds one called "System Files.exe" right in the "My Documents" area. Everyone knows that bullshit titles like that lead to porn so he hooked up the computer to our projector and started our slide show. Well what was inside was not what we expected, soft photos of women in lingerie amongst tons and tons of copies of the same few documents. There was also a paint file of the words "YOU WON'T FIND IT!" drawn.

My friend decided to take this challenge and found some files that said "nope" "not this either" "getting closer". He got frustrated and just did what he was supposed to. I don't think he found the porn but it was a good mind game moment.

 

[RobCoxxy]

Douk, I think at some point in the future we should set up the "no bullshit" PC specialists, where raises are given to staff insulting idiots and wankers.

 

[RobCoxxy]

Douk, I think at some point in the future we should set up the "no bullshit" PC specialists, where raises are given to staff insulting idiots and wankers.

That oughta optimise business performance.

We need these idiots, they create jobs.

We'd still help, just mock. And even so:
Face it, idiots are not in short supply.

 

[theklng]

I then gave her the link to Lemon Party and heard her scream and hang up the phone.

I would have fired you if I'd caught wind of that as your manager.

you'd make a bad manager then.

 

[Syntax Error]

Face it, idiots are not in short supply.

Programmers strive to make their programs as idiot-proof as possible. Cosmic laws deem this to be tampering with nature, so the Universe creates better idiots. - my friend who programmed our software project

 

[CheeseSandwichCake]

I made somebody delete his graphics card drivers once.

It was one of the single most satisfying moments I've ever experienced.