Confidence issues

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

Okay, situation in a nutshell-
I like this girl, She's really friendly and what not, I'm getting to know her, and I have a problem.

I'm not confident arround her. Likewise to every girl I have ever liked.
This is my biggest problem, I constantly mess up, and make myself look like an idiot around her.
I don't want her to get the wrong message about me, and I think I've been broadcasting that I'm a weird idiot straight to her face. If I was just more confident, I could avoid this.

But I need to know how to build confidence.
Any ideas? Plox?

 

[emeraldrafael]

You could do what i did. I had my freinds kick me in the ass everytime I let her go by without saying smoething about how I felt. Once they do it enough and it hurts to sit, you get over taht awkwardness.

the worst thing that can happen is she can say I dont feel the same.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

You could do what i did. I had my freinds kick me in the ass everytime I let her go by without saying smoething about how I felt. Once they do it enough and it hurts to sit, you get over taht awkwardness.

the worst thing that can happen is she can say I dont feel the same.

It's not really confessing my feelings towards her, It's just getting into a normal conversation.

 

[Iron Mal]

Building confidence isn't really a technique or process as much as it's hard grueling labour and forcing yourself into the harsh meat-grinder of social interaction (after all, the only way you get better at anything is practice).

It sucks, it can make you feel stupid and on more than one occasion has probably made me sound like a serial killer (trust me, I well and truely suck at talking to people, I have trouble making eye contact with most people nevermind making small talk) but it's the only way that I can say will more than likely work in terms of boosting your confidence.

If you can then a way to at least try and minimise the problems you'll face talking to people is to have something you can both talk about and share an interest in (be it books or music or film or whatever), it's easier to relax when talking about something we're comfortable with and know a lot about (and not to mention that it can lead to your finding other common interests that you both share).

Otherwise, it's the old addage of 'the harder I work the luckier I get'. Good luck with the girl you like, hope it goes well for you.

 

[emeraldrafael]

You could do what i did. I had my freinds kick me in the ass everytime I let her go by without saying smoething about how I felt. Once they do it enough and it hurts to sit, you get over taht awkwardness.

the worst thing that can happen is she can say I dont feel the same.

It's not really confessing my feelings towards her, It's just getting into a normal conversation.

same thing. As my uncle always says, a good kick in the seat is motivational enough to move mountains give the dedication to the kick.

ad if worst comes to worst, start of with a really bad joke, have her laugh at you and then get over it cause you realize that her laughing at you isnt the worst thing in the world.

 

[TehCookie]

Almost every girl will tell you they want a funny guy, and most people laugh at stupid things. Just be yourself and laugh at yourself when you act like an idiot. Realizing that a lot of people don't notice those stupid mistakes or habits can also make you feel more confident.

 

[JCBFGD]

...it's just getting into a normal conversation.

I've had that problem before...oddly enough, with a lesbian. She's the only girl I've ever been tongue-tied around. Quite strange...

OT: If you just want to get into a normal conversation, ignore the fact that she has breasts and a vagina, and talk to her. Tell a joke. Talk about each other's days. If you're both in school, talk about each other's classes. Eventually, you'll probably get into deeper conversations. That's how it works with me anyways. Small talk turns to talk turns to in-depth discussions. Honestly, talking to a girl is easy once you get past the genitalia.

Now, when it comes to asking a girl out, don't ask me. That's the point where my confidence around girls fades. And it pisses me off to no end.

CAPTCHA: ...I can't fucking read it anyways, it doesn't help that it now has EVIL SQUIGGLY LINES!!!

 

[LITE992]

Find your talents or something you're really passionate about.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

ignore the fact that she has breasts

That'd be a lot easier if her shirt wasn't filled to max capacity with boobiness... It was easier talking to her on that aspect last year, when she didn't have such big boobs.

 

[Vicarious Reality]

There's no such thing as too much confidence

 

[JCBFGD]

ignore the fact that she has breasts

That'd be a lot easier if her shirt wasn't filled to max capacity with boobiness... It was easier talking to her on that aspect last year, when she didn't have such big boobs.

If it's really that hard for you to not look at her tittaaays, then look at her head. Watch it very closely, but don't look weird doing it. Act casual. The second she turns her head for whatever reason, move your eyes quickly down and back up. You have to be able to do this in less than a second. It may not seem like enough booby time, but it actually is. I've spent years on this move...works like a charm =D But NEVER move your head downwards!! It takes much too long to move it back up! EYES ONLY!!!

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

Any ideas? Plox?

You can try saying hi to every girl around your age at your local mall. It's used as a method of building approach confidence mainly, but it's worth a shot.

Aside from that you need to stop seeing her as girlfriend potential. You need to see her as a friend first and foremost, one of the guys. Start treating her like she's no different to your best mate and you should be fine.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

ignore the fact that she has breasts

That'd be a lot easier if her shirt wasn't filled to max capacity with boobiness... It was easier talking to her on that aspect last year, when she didn't have such big boobs.

If it's really that hard for you to not look at her tittaaays, then look at her head. Watch it very closely, but don't look weird doing it. Act casual. The second she turns her head for whatever reason, move your eyes quickly down and back up. You have to be able to do this in less than a second. It may not seem like enough booby time, but it actually is. I've spent years on this move...works like a charm =D But NEVER move your head downwards!! It takes much too long to move it back up! EYES ONLY!!!

I never look down at them in conversation, or standing near her, It's just the fact I KNOW THEY ARE THERE!

 

[DrgoFx]

I have to agree with some of the people here, confidence is something you need to earn on your own. I was a pretty shy guy [minus the masks] growing up until I started to take acting seriously. As I became more and more comfortable on stage, the more confident I got with anything.

I don't suggest you doing this exactly, but she has big boobs and if it were me, I'd make a joke about it. I wouldn't go "You have huge tits." I would say something like, as you've stated her "You know...I could've sworn those were smaller last year." Or something along those lines. The best you can do is learn how to be charming in your own way. Some things work well for some guys, others not so much.

And in all honesty, have of my confidence came from acting, that got me to socialize. The other half came from my friend who I would have these huge conversations with over things like breast size, Japan-obsessed Americans, what type of sandwiches are awesome, what if we all saw things differently and didn't know it. But yep, confidence you have to earn and try to be charming. Charming doesn't necessarily mean trying to get her in bed, it's a means of being comfortable around her in a casual manner, rather than thinking she's this girl you have a crush on.

 

[Ultrajoe]

There's no such thing as too much confidence

One of my Dark Heresy players I hit with a delusion of invincibility would disagree with you.

For Example; Roll willpower not to rise to the Space Marine's rochambo challenge.

As for the OP; Ask her a question, treat her like a person. People are people. Treat them like people, and they'll act like people. Treat them like skill challenges and treat you the same; with the challenge to be moving to an area with less you in it.

I don't suggest you doing this exactly, but she has big boobs and if it were me, I'd make a joke about it. I wouldn't go "You have huge tits." I would say something like, as you've stated her "You know...I could've sworn those were smaller last year." Or something along those lines.

Don't do this. It might work for DrgoFx here in very specific situations, but don't do this. Bad habit. For many reasons. Please don't.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

There's no such thing as too much confidence

One of my Dark Heresy players I hit with a delusion of invincibility would disagree with you.

For Example; Roll willpower not to rise to the Space Marine's rochambo challenge.

As for the OP; Ask her a question, treat her like a person. People are people. Treat them like people, and they'll act like people. Treat them like skill challenges and treat you the same; with the challenge to be moving to an area with less you in it.

I don't suggest you doing this exactly, but she has big boobs and if it were me, I'd make a joke about it. I wouldn't go "You have huge tits." I would say something like, as you've stated her "You know...I could've sworn those were smaller last year." Or something along those lines.

Don't do this. It might work for DrgoFx here in very specific situations, but don't do this. Bad habit. For many reasons. Please don't.

Yeah that breast thing is something I would say if I got to second with her.

That isn't something a friend says to the oposite gender...

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Try speaking to her online, where you can think stuff through. Then move on with that.

 

[staika]

I used to have this problem too but it all stopped about a year and a half ago. The thing was is that around guys I am a very talkative person and quite funny (IMO) but girls just made my body shut down like it couldn't handle girls. It all stopped around halfway through my senior year of high school where I became good friends with this one girl in one of my classes, now we didn't go out (I really had no intention of dating her to be honest) but I could talk to her normally and I discovered my jokes do work on girls. I think it was me just getting used to talking to her that I was then able to talk to other girls. I don't know if this will work for you but it worked for me.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Training montage. This song:


Invincible!

 

[JCBFGD]

I never look down at them in conversation, or standing near her, It's just the fact I KNOW THEY ARE THERE!

Then pretend that they're Alien egg sacs that will hatch into a thousand Facehuggers if you acknowledge their existence.

Never had to do that myself...but I suppose it could work...?

Again, only advice I can give in the titty department is ignore them as best you can.

CAPTCHA: etorin CULTURAL
Goddamn, Captcha, you don't have to yell at me!