Corrupt a Wish game

[TheIr0nMike]

Granted, you get 15,000 minnows

I wish for a life of hedonism.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted, but Westboro Baptist Church will never leave you alone.

I wish I could read minds.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but You can't stop reading all the ,inds on earth at once, and your head explodes.

I wish for a Whale to land on the poster below me.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Granted, but I use my alien wizard powers to levitate it to slam into you.

I wish I could use a kamehameha.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but you blow up the sun, killing everyone.

I wish for my own succesful spin-off show.

 

[not_the_dm]

Granted, you become so succesful that someone assassinates you out of sheer jealosy.

I wish I could get my flintlock pistol working again.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but you can't find flintlock pistol bullets anywhere.

I wish for a decent pair of nail clippers.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted, is name is Mike. He's coming dressed as a firema-- What do you mean you didn't wish for male strippers?

I wish for fish on a dish.

 

[Robert632]

Granted, but the dish falls into a pit of lava.

I wish for a pair of rusty pliers.

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

granted. but he locks them in his cellar and doesn't let anyone see them.

i wish for my own candy store!

 

[blankedboy]

Granted, but the candy has cocaine in it.

I wish I could create universes and define what goes on inside them!

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

granted. but as soon as there is intelligent life you will be destroyed by your very own creations.

i wish that i was the immortal president of the world forever.

 

[blankedboy]

Wait, that doesn't make sense. I DEFINE what goes on inside them.

Anyways.

Granted, but the sun explodes, destroying all planets in the solar system along with all the life on earth and you're left in the yawning void of space for a fuckin' long time.
Undying.

I wish that I was made of jelly.
(this should be interesting)

 

[DeathChairOfHell]

granted. but suddenly three schoolbusses of kids stop at you and eat you up.


i wish that my head exploded.

 

[Crayzor]

Granted, but it doesn't kill you and you feel all the pain, before regrowing a head half the size.

I wish to be aweseome.

 

[blankedboy]

Granted, but so is everyone else and you become insignificant again.

I wish to have a black lightsaber.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted. But it's so dark, your eyes can't see it anymore.

I wish I had better drawing skills.

 

[Hana_aoki]

Granted, but your better skills cause hordes of creepy fangirls to beg you to draw out their fanfic stories... in detail

I wish it rained more often.

 

[Scde2]

Granted, there is now a serial killer who kidnaps boys and puts them in a well until they drown.

I wish that people were nicer to emos.

 

[BrailleOperatic]

Granted, but the new found acceptance completely demeans the purpose of being emo and they all subsequently turn into quote-unquote "normal" people.

I wish I was a Bond villain.